Life as I know it
by Blinded HP
Summary: AU! Harry is not the boy everyone expected he'd be when he first entered Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dominant
1. A new master

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone had expected he'd be when he first entered Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**Chapter 1: A new master**

The room they entered was the same as usual. Bed unmade, clothes littering the floor, wrappers of some sort or another thrown carelessly around the desk. It's always the same.

He couldn't remember the last time he had accompanied his master to a friend's house and found it in a respectable condition.

He suppressed a sigh as he realized that he would, once again, have a shit-load of work to do come morning, but for now he was otherwise 'occupied'.

He had been through this so many times that he was sure he could do everything with a blindfold on and still be able to do it as proficiently as he would were he able to see.

He had never known life as anything other than what he dealt with from day to day.

The knowledge that he didn't exactly lead an exemplary life had long since made itself known but as he hadn't known how to 'correct' that small little detail he had never seen it worth his while to focus much attention on it.

Tonight's client was Mr Floggins. A man whom had made use of his services only twice before but had always been rather _gentle_ with him.

That was the only drawback from his little late night 'sessions'. The pain.

Some people just didn't understand that using some type of lubricant didn't exempt them from the preparation procedure. One, two fingers were the most he usually got and that, only to spread the lubricant inside to make him as slick as possible.

Mr Floggins was one of a few who took their time in preparing him and even, sometimes, concentrated on giving some pleasure at the same time as receiving it.

The night went as expected. An unfinished blow-job on the man while he prepared him; then being yanked down and entered at an excruciatingly slow pace. Why the man deemed it necessary to be careful when basically no one else did was beyond him but he would never complain about the small reprieve.

He had been doing this as an 'extra curricular' activity since before he could remember. Of course, it had not been his idea; no, it was his uncle whom had decided that he – boy, freak, lazy 'good for nothing' excuse of a human being – should earn his 'keep'.

The first time his uncle had told him to call him 'master' was the first time he had really noticed that all was not quite right in his little world.

It had been a year after he had had his first 'night visit' with one of his uncle's friends. He had learned in History class some vague details of what slaves and masters were – well, not exactly History class so much as books that he 'borrowed' from the class from older years.

When his uncle had first 'requested' to be called master, Harry had had the first of quite a few 'eye openers' as he called it.

Harry loved reading. He would read any and every book he could get his hands on. That was how he knew that if someone told you to call them master, someone whom were sexually involved with you, that someone was your dominant. He had read vague details about slaves and masters from books but none of them really told him how he was supposed to behave.

His only master was Vernon. Vernon whom had been his master for 6 years now. It puzzled him that he felt 'safer', more secure with any of Vernon's _friends_ than he did with Vernon himself.

It was no use worrying over something as trivial as that though, Vernon was his master and he did what his master asked of him. Everything. Always.

He had long since learned that it was easier and ultimately less painful for him to just give in and do whatever Vernon wanted from him. From giving blow jobs to receiving them – though that had only happened once and the damned man had nearly torn his flesh when he had bitten him! The man had never come back and Harry couldn't even remember his name.

What had puzzled him the most was that right after the man had bitten him he had held a hand over his mouth and promptly left the building. Harry could have sworn he'd seen loose teeth rolling around in the man's mouth but he wasn't sure.

Vernon had for the first time used a whip on him after that incident. The whip had taught him that Vernon was the master and he the slave. His back still had scars from that day.

Harry was brought back to the present by a huge hand grabbing hold of his shoulder none to gently.

The ride back to Privet drive was tenser than usual and Harry just knew that he had unwittingly done something wrong once again and would receive his 'just punishment'.

He never knew exactly what it was that he had done wrong, Vernon never gave a reason for his punishments. Harry deserved them, which were all the motivation Vernon needed.

Harry's heart sank into his stomach as they neared the house. He could see quite a few owls flying this way and that. About ten of them were perched on Nr 4's roof.

Without even looking at his master he knew he would be blamed for this.

Any and every weird thing that happened around the house was blamed on him and he had come to realize that strange things _did_ happen to him. Maybe this was something to do with him as well??

Harry scrambled out the car as they came to a halt in the driveway. He hurried around the car to open the door for his master but he refused to look the man in the eye.

"Come Freak, get in that house before the neighbors see!!" His master's voice was nothing louder than a whisper but Harry heard him clearly and hastened to obey.

"Vernon!! Oh, Vernon! You're back! It's terrible, absolutely terrible. They're all over the house! I can't get them out Vernon! Do something!"

Harry cringed away as he heard his aunt's shrill voice. If anything could get him the punishment of a lifetime it was Petunia or Dudley being 'frightened' because of something they had no control over.

His aunt _hated_ having no control.

Then Harry finally noticed that the owls were not just randomly flying through the house or around it anymore. They had all settled down when he walked in and Harry could now see that each and every one of them had a letter tied to a leg.

Harry's breathing sped up. He didn't know what was going on. What he did know was that if he didn't get rid of them soon he would most likely never see the light of another day.

But he didn't move. His master was in the room and had not given him permission to move or even blink.

One of the owls apparently decided that it had had enough of humans just staring at it and flew right at Harry.

Still he stood without moving a muscle.

The owl flapped its wings frantically in order to stay in the air right in front of him.

"Well, what are you waiting for freak! Take the blasted letter from the bird so we could have some peace!"

Harry steadily reached out and gently untied the letter. As soon as it was in his hand the owl took off out a window and there was a ruckus as each and every owl took their leave.

He turned to half face his master and held out the letter, never lifting his eyes from the floor.

The letter was practically ripped from his hand and, as he knew would happen, Vernon ripped it in half and then again.

"Get in your cupboard slave; I've no time for you now!"

"Yes sir." Harry said respectfully and he made his way over to his 'bedroom'.

His only solitude in the harsh life fate had dealt him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week had passed since the 'owl incident' and Harry was just starting to recover from the vicious beating he had received for being a freak of nature.

The doorbell sounded and Harry immediately straightened and stood still as a statue. Even though he was in his cupboard he had learned that no sound would be tolerated, even if it could be passed off as a mouse or cricket.

Pounding sounded from above and Harry counted down the seconds "3…2…1" before ducking as a cloud of dust fell from a beam under the stairs, right where he's little bedroom was.

He could hear his master grunting as he stepped up to the front door and had to stifle a wince as he heard the door slam with the force it was opened with.

"**Yes?!"** Oh, his master was NOT in a good mood this morning.

Whoever was at the door was speaking to softly for Harry to hear him but no one could miss his master's voice as he bellowed his answer.

"**I have never heard of a boy named Harry Potter! Now freak, get off my property before I call the police!"**

Harry was quite probably just as shocked as whoever this stranger at the door was.

Never had he heard his master speak to anyone other than himself in that tone, and never, never in his life had he heard the man call someone other than him a freak.

There was a shuffling sound as if Vernon had made a hasty retreat just before Harry heard a loud thud and felt the house tremble on its hinges.

"Where is Harry Potter?"

The voice was soft but it carried with such power that Harry didn't think _he_ would have been able to resist an answer even if his life depended on it.

Apparently his master felt the same as he mumbled something which sounded to Harry like "Hide and go seek" and "Dudley" somewhere in-between.

Harry took his cue from his master and peeked out from behind the door.

"What happened? Where's Dudley?" He asked with feigned concern.

"Potter!!" The stranger turned to him and Harry assessed the man with one glance.

This was someone he would have to obey no matter what. While Vernon had always had a 'presence', it was more his height and bulk which frightened Harry into obeying. This stranger on the other hand was lean and tall with a pitch black cloak that hung to the floor.

The eyes were the scariest. Black as ebony and shining with a light of sheer malice.

Harry stepped out of the cupboard at once and bowed his head as he had been taught.

"Yes sir."

"Grab all your things! We're leaving. I don't have time to go traipsing after stubborn students, but as the headmaster had insisted, I didn't have any choice. You on the other hand would not be the reason I waste even more of my time!"

"What are you waiting for? Get your things!"

Harry was as confused as can be but he hurried to obey.

His cupboard was empty in a few seconds and he rushed up to the bathroom to fetch his toothbrush and hair comb – not that it had ever done him any good.

He hurried down the stairs, careful not to run. No running was aloud in the house.

When he reached the bottom he once again bowed his head respectfully and waited for his next command.

He didn't have to wait long.

"If you think that those meager pieces of clothing and whatever rubbish else you have in that bag would be enough then you're sadly mistaken. I digress, you have had your chance and I'm not about to give you another one. Maybe next time you'll actually _listen_ and pack everything you own!"

With that a heavy hand fell on his shoulder and started turning him towards the door.

Harry started to panic. He was leaving. Leaving his master.

Looking up for the first time since entering the room he sought out his master's eyes and had to bite back a gasp when he realized that his master _wanted_ him to leave. Wanted him to go with this stranger.

Who was this man? He suppressed any feelings of betrayal that his master was casting him aside and followed this stranger out. Maybe it was his 'new' master?

He didn't know but until told otherwise he would obey the man like he would his master.

What other choice did he have?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To think that that overgrown piece of blubber that called himself a man had had the audacity to _lie_ to him!!

He had known for years that Potter lived with his relatives. He had known for the same amount of time exactly where that residence was.

"_I've never heard of a boy named Harry Potter!_" What did the man think? That he was stupid?

And Potter!! The way the boy wouldn't even _look_ at him! Behold! Harry Potter, all high and mighty, hero of the wizarding world!! Let's all bow down at his feet so that we could eat the grass he's walked on!

Did the boy really think he was better than everyone else? That he could not look anyone in the eye or it would lower his standards?

Oh, but the peak of the whole incidence, the part that just put the cherry on top was when Potter came back after being told to pack _everything_.

One bag, no lager than a regular backpack and the clothes on the boy's back.

What did he think he could accomplish with those things? He wouldn't even be able to go for a whole week with those measly possessions!

A cruel, satisfied smirk crossed his face as he thought of Potter, scrambling around in his dorms for something to wear only to realize that he would have to go down to breakfast in nothing but his boxers.

That would indeed make this whole trip worth it.

Glancing behind him he was rather surprised that the boy was keeping up with him. The surprise turned to anger when he realized that _still_ Potter wouldn't look at him.

"Keep up Potter! I don't have all day and the sooner we get to Hogwarts the sooner I'd be rid of babysitting you."

Severus almost faltered in his step when he heard the soft reply behind him.

"Yes, master."

No, he couldn't have heard that right. Maybe the boy was playing with him. Sarcasm was not something that Severus appreciated when aimed at him. _He_ was a master of sarcasm, _no one_ could out pace him when it comes to that.

Snarling slightly at the thought of Potter's triumphant smirk behind his back he stopped abruptly and held out his wand high above his head.

Potter, as predicted, bumped right into him but before Severus could turn around to shout at the boy Potter had already stepped back and apologized.

Severus was tempted to give a scathing reply but was unable to as a huge triple-decker bus came into existence.

Potter's gasp was masked by the screeching of brakes but Severus heard it nonetheless.

You would think the boy had never even _heard_ of magic!!

hpsshpsshpss

The trip to Hogsmead was gratifyingly short and Potter kept his mouth shut the whole time. A miracle really, Severus knew how boys of Potter's age could carry on and on and _on_ over one thing or another!!

The only trouble came when they had come to a halt in Hogsmead. Severus had stood when they had first entered Hogsmead and was at the door of the bus when it finally stopped. As he stepped down he realized that Potter was not with him.

Growling in frustration he clambered back on the bus and all but holed the boy out. He grabbed the back of Potter's shirt and dragged him out of the bus.

The boy didn't even wince.

"Come Potter! You will follow me and you'd better keep up!"

They walked swiftly towards the castle. Severus usually appreciated the beauty of the castle late at night with all the lights on and the moonlight reflecting off the water in the lake.

Tonight however he was just too frustrated with Potter, Albus and just the general public to appreciate the beauty.

Why did _he_ have to be the one to go after the stubborn brat? If the brat didn't answer any letter then he didn't _want_ to come to Hogwarts. Who were they to refute the boy's decision? Severus certainly wouldn't have minded to never lay eyes on the obnoxious brat.

His internal monologue was interrupted by spontaneous laughter. His first instinct was to turn on Potter and ask him what he could possibly find so amusing but then he realized that while he was preoccupied with his thoughts he had already crossed the hall and was ready to seat himself.

The laughter however didn't stop and it wasn't until he turned around that he realized that it wasn't Potter doing the laughing but everyone else.

There, behind him stood Potter. Head bowed – Severus was beginning to think that the boy _couldn't_ lift his head – and just standing there with his hands rested lightly against his sides. The boy had followed him alright, right up to the head table!!

Severus took a deep breath. He dearly wanted to let in to the boy but before he could begin his tirade a hand settled on his shoulder. Albus's voice sounded from behind him and he resisted the temptation to struggle out of the hold on him.

"Harry my dear boy!! Welcome, welcome! I'm so glad you could make it. Now why don't you head back there to Professor McGonagall and she will place the hat on your head."

Harry started at the friendly voice speaking to him but even when that person had finished speaking he stayed where he was.

His new master whipped around and snarled at him. Harry suppressed a wince and stopped himself just before he could take an automatic step back. He was _not_ supposed to cringe back from his master. Ever!

"What are you waiting for Potter? An escort to hold your hand? Get down there now!"

Harry hastened to obey.

Severus curled his lip in distaste and turned his gaze back over the hall.

He could see the worry in Albus's face from the corner of his eye and cursed the Potter boy for putting it there. Well, there was nothing for it, he was sure that that worry would only disappear once Potter was either out of school or had once again defeated the Dark Lord. Severus privately hoped for the latter to happen before the former.

The silence which had settled over the hall as Potter had made his way over to Professor McGonagall was slowly interspersed with whispered conversations.

The hat had been on the boy's head for 10 minutes already!! Severus couldn't remember the last time a sorting had taken this long.

He was beginning to _really_ get irritated when the hat finally opened its brim….

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry tried his best to squash down his nervousness. His new master had ordered him to do this and he would be a fool to do otherwise.

He sat on the chair indicated by the woman he assumed was Professor McGonagall and tensed a bit when he felt something placed on his head.

He had to bite his lip on a cry of surprise when he heard a voice in his head.

"_Ah, Mr Potter. I'd been wondering why I didn't see you with the other students. Never mind, you're here now and that is all that matters. Now let's see what we have here._

_Oh my, oh, oh my!! Boy, do you even know where you are?"_

Harry thought the answer to that was quite obvious but before he could answer out loud the voice continued.

"_Yes, I guessed as much. You Mr Potter, are at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, yes, wizardry. This is a magic school and you are a wizard Mr Potter._

_No, no mistake, you're definitely a wizard. Quite a good one I'd say, judging by what you've done for yourself all these years._

_Oh but this is not good. Not good at all. Ah, I see that you know at least that your situation isn't exactly ideal but I'm afraid you're still too complacent with the way things are at the moment._

_So Professor Snape is your new master is he? He's a good man. Complicated, stubborn and head strong but generally good. You'd do good to follow him Mr Potter but not in the way you've been taught._

_And I see that you'll only obey an order from your master. That might proof to be complicated._

_You, Mr Potter are probably the most difficult child I had ever had to place. You're courageous, how could you not be with what you have had to do from day to day. You're loyal to a fault once you decide whom to trust. You're intelligent but have been mislead most of your life and are suppressing that part of your brain. And last but not least you're as cunning as any Slytherin. You lack the ambition but that doesn't matter._

_Slytherin you ask? Oh forgive me Mr Potter. There are 4 houses here at Hogwarts. Gryffindor is the house for the brave and strong. Unfortunately most members of that house misunderstand the concept of brave and therefore become foolhardy._

_Then there is Hufflepuff. Members of that house are usually quite intelligent but very shy and they shun the limelight. They are the most loyal of all houses and stay out of the 'political' aspects of the school._

_Ravenclaws are those of exceptional intelligence. They are sometimes quite rude to their fellow students as they can't grasp the fact that not everyone can cast a spell after the first few tries. They are, on the other hand, only book smart and the concept of the 'real world' hit them hard when they leave school._

_Slytherin is the last and most misunderstood house. The fact that you are cunning and/or ambitious doesn't mean that you are cruel or evil. You set high standards for yourself and your fellow housemates and strive to reach above those standards. People often make the mistake to think that because Slytherins study ALL parts of magic it makes them evil. It doesn't. It just gives them the knowledge of what is out there in the 'real world' and prepares them as best it could for what they will have to face one day."_

Harry listened with fascination to the voice in his head. He could understand where every house fell into the way of life. He also knew that each and every house is necessary for a school to function relatively normal. Hufflepuffs would keep the peace should a fight break out but they would also be fair. Ravenclaw would use their keen intelligence to decide which course of action would have the least consequences. Gryffindor would defend anyone they felt the need to and would stand up for those who couldn't. Slytherin would try to diffuse the situation before it even happened or, if too late for that, would slyly refocus everyone's attention on something else.

Of course, it would not always work out this way but at least Harry understood what every house's purpose was and how he would deal with each.

"_Ah, and there's our little problem Mr Potter. I'm afraid that no 'one' house would be able to understand you or the situation you're in. You would be great for each and every house Hogwarts has but none of the houses would be good for _you. _They'll shun you when they realize what type of person you are. They'll belittle you for not standing up for yourself, pity you for exactly the same and curse you for what in their eyes would be an easy life and road to travel. Why? Because the Professors would protect you as well they could and other students would take offence at that._

_No, Mr Potter, I'm afraid that none of these houses would be good for you at the moment._

_You have your master. Talk to him. He's a good man. Forget about your old master. Yes, yes, forget about him. What he did to you Mr Potter is despicable. You may not know it now but you will, you will! Your new master will help you on the way to greatness. He will help you understand your worth in the world._

_I wish you good luck Mr Potter, the road ahead will be difficult but if you were to come on top you will be one of the greatest wizards the world had ever seen._

_And now, I'll place you in…_

"Hogwarts Apprenticeship"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus was gratified beyond words to realize that his highly unusual show of surprise was covered up by the clattering of a teacup right next to him. Who would hear a small gasp when such a ruckus was made?

Hooch apologized profusely for spilling tea all over Severus but he waved it away with his one hand while the other cleaned himself up with a wave of his wand.

The silence which had settled for the few seconds after the hat's rather surprising decision was broken by loud conversations and questions.

"Silence!!"

Dumbledore's voice carried over the hall without even so much as a sonorous charm.

"Mr Potter, if you could come with me. Prefects, escort the first years to their new dorms. Everyone else is free to do as they please, within reason of course, and remember that curfew is at 21:00 – nine o'clock.

Professor's Snape, McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout, if you could please accompany me and Mr Potter to my office. Thank you."

Harry didn't know _what_ was going on but judging by the reactions of everyone else something strange had happened. When something strange happened to Harry then it was bad.

Glancing from under his fringe to his master he could see that the man's expression was closed off except for the tightness in the lips.

Harry shuddered. Whenever Vernon had had that same expression on his face, Harry had been severely punished.

A none too gentle push in his back had him moving and his master stepped out in front of him. Harry followed.

The words that the voice had spoken in his head were repeating itself over and over in his mind. He was a wizard. He was in a magical school where children learned magic.

But magic wasn't real. His master had told him so.

The evidence to the contrary was staring him right in the face and Harry knew that sometime, however reluctantly, he would have to admit to this new possibility and that, for once, his master had been wrong.

Now, however wasn't the time for that.

His new master was displeased with him and he would have to figure out how to make it up to the man.

What would the man like? A blow job, _him_ or both? Harry knew he would give himself to the man. His previous master had wanted him to go with this man so surely he was his new master and was to be obeyed without question? Right?

A new anticipation made itself known to Harry. How would it be to have a new master? Would he be treated the same as with his previous master? Would his new master be as generous as to give him a cupboard with a mattress to live in or would he have to sleep in the bathroom on the hard floor?

The remembered times when he had been punished with that exact same method made him shiver. It had been winter time and the floor had been colder than ice.

No, he dearly hoped that he would at least have a carpet or maybe even a mattress to sleep on. Where, didn't really matter.

A scraping sound distracted him from his thoughts and he stared in fascination as two huge (if ugly) rock statues moved as if on its own accord.

A stairway came into view and the adults with him made their way up to wherever it leads.

His master just gave him a _look_, and he made his own way up the stairs.

Everyone settled themselves in a chair while Harry situated himself behind his master, standing just to the right of him but somewhat behind. Still in arms reach should his master need to punish him for anything.

"Now Harry, could you explain to us what the hat had talked about with you? It's really unusual for him to appoint an apprentice, never mind one as young as yourself!"

The old man was the one who posed the question and though Harry was a bit nervous, the tone of voice put him somewhat at ease. He didn't answer though; his master had not yet given him permission to speak.

Said man was just turning around in his seat when Harry had been quiet for a minute when another voice spoke up.

"_If I could perhaps explain Headmaster?"_

Everone's attention shifted from Harry to the hat – whom had been the one to speak. Harry was quite relieved to have the attention shifted off of him, he _hated_ to be under so much scrutiny.

"Of course Strawgoh, please explain; it is highly unusual for you to appoint an apprentice, especially one as young as Mr Potter."

_Thank you headmaster_. The hat turned from facing the old man with a white beard whom Harry now knew was the Headmaster to face everyone else.

_Young Mr Potter here is in quite a unique situation. I'm not going to divulge anything specific Albus as that would be and invasion of Mr Potter's privacy. What I will say is that that young lad has an exceptional head on his shoulders. He would be fit for any and each house here at Hogwarts. Yes Severus, Slytherin as well. He'd be great in Slytherin! However, none of the houses, when faced alone would be good for Mr Potter. Don't ask me why, when Mr Potter is ready to tell you he will. As an apprentice Mr Potter would be considered part of each and every house._

_I suggest that he be allowed to eat wherever he pleases. Be it at the student tables or up at the head table. Now, don't look at me like that. Mr Potter will be apprenticing under one of the professors and it is his right to sit next to his master/mistress._

"The boy isn't even here for an hour and already we're making exceptions for him!" Harry winced slightly at his master's harsh words but it was barely perceptible.

_Severus! If you knew what I know you would swallow your own tongue! You are well able to make your own decisions of course but I would advise you to give everyone, including Mr Potter a fair chance to proof themselves. I believe you would be quite surprised by what you find._ The hat ended with that cryptic response and refused to answer any other questions.

"Well Harry, looks like the decision has been made for us. I don't believe that you know already which course you would like to apprentice in, correct? I'll take your silence as a no then. It would of course be best if you went to each class a few times before choosing but whenever you've made your decision just let me know and we'll make it official."

Harry was at a loss. He didn't understand half of what was going on but what he _did_ understand, he didn't like, not. one. bit.

They were thinking of giving him yet another master!! He had a master now! A new master whom he hadn't even gotten to know yet. Plus, he had displeased his master more than once since he'd been 'given' to him and had yet to be punished. No, they couldn't take him away from his master. Not now!

_I believe Mr Potter has already made his decision on who would be his master, haven't you Mr Potter?_

It was once again the hat that spoke and Harry couldn't tear his fascinated gaze away from the opening where the voice emerged from.

He realized his mistake as his master turned around and sneered at him.

He quickly lowered his eyes to the ground but he could clearly hear the growl his master made.

Oh, he was in for it now! The punishment last week from his previous master would seem like a nice vacation compared to what he knew was to come.

"Well Mr Potter? Would you care to enlighten us to your decision or are you expecting us to beg for it? I assure you that that would not happen, ever."

Harry looked up at his master with a confused face. He was to choose his new master? Wasn't this man his new master?

"You are my master." Harry said softly and once again lowered his eyes.

He _did_ flinch when a tea cup shattered right in front of his feet and he felt rather than saw his master towering above him.

"Me, Mr Potter? You want ME to be your Apprentice Master? Have you lost what little intelligence you had?!"

Harry stared even harder at the floor, refusing to let the burning in his eyes become anything other that what it was, burning.

"Now Severus, Mr Potter has made his decision and we will respect it. It's not every year you get an opportunity to have an apprentice study under you." The voice Harry could now recognize as the headmasters had an odd sound to it. Almost like a scolding tone, but kinder.

His master snarled at the headmaster before turning back to look at Harry.

"Come Potter! We will discuss your schedule tomorrow morning. For now, we will go to my chambers and we will sleep."

Harry looked up in relief at his master and just before he was pushed out of the office he scanned the rest of the room and could see and odd twinkling in the old headmaster's eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This could not be happening to him. The dread which had begun to fill him as soon as the blasted hat had shouted out the word "Apprenticeship" had turned to full blown horror as he realized that the dratted boy had chosen him for a master. HIM!

Any thought of maybe returning as a spy should the Dark Lord regain a body was crushed now.

The darkness around him became thicker and Severus forced himself to concentrate on where he was going. A quick glance behind him showed that the boy was at least keeping up.

Two more corners and they were in front of his chambers. He turned around to grab the boy's arm so he could add him to his wards when the boy took a few steps forward, as if anticipating what he wanted.

Severus frowned down at the boy but grabbed the arm and pushed the boy's hand against the plain piece of wall.

Whispering some words while waving his wand over Potter's hand, a blue light wrapped itself around the hand before sinking into the wall.

Nodding to himself he let go of Potter and whispered the password. He would tell it to the boy once inside, no use taking a chance that someone was lurking about and heard what he said.

Severus waited two seconds but as Potter didn't move to enter he growled lowly and pushed the boy in ahead of him.

Potter stumbled a bit but righted himself straight away and once again stood still as a statue with his hands by his sides.

Severus repressed a sigh and stalked by the boy.

He emerged from the kitchen a few moments later and found Potter exactly where he had left him. The boy hadn't moved a muscle.

"This, as you can clearly see, is the living room. Whenever you are in this room you will be quiet and pick up any mess you made. The door behind me is my room. You will not enter there under _any_ circumstances. The door on your left leads to the kitchen, I'm sure you know how to help yourself there. To your right is the bathroom, as with the kitchen, I need not explain anything else. Behind you is a door, that's where you will sleep. Lights out at nine and you'd better be up by seven in the morning."

With that Severus turned around and entered his room. He just hoped that the blasted boy wouldn't get into any trouble his first night there.

Hpsshpsshpsshpsshpss

Harry carefully turned around when his master had disappeared into his room.

He guessed that it would be the same here as with his previous master. Whenever 'at home', he would make use of any necessary facilities and if his master left the room he would go to his own room until he was needed.

So Harry quickly went to the bathroom to relieve himself. He'd been holding in for quite a while and was relieved to be given the chance.

The bathroom was sparkling and Harry hoped dearly that his master would tell him what he should use to clean it. Harry had never seen bathrooms that clean!

Harry panicked a bit when he realized that the water flowing from the tap was warm water. He wasn't allowed any warm water.

The memory of all the moving pictures in the castle made him realize that everything was most likely controlled by magic. The tap he had opened did not have any indication as to whether it was hot or cold water. Apparently with magic the taps decided for itself.

His skin was red as a tomato even after just a few minutes in the water and Harry hurried to dry himself.

The water disappeared as soon as he was out of the bath and Harry was once again fascinated by the magic of the place.

He picked up the shirt he had pulled from his bag before climbing in the bath and pulled it over his head.

Picking up his bag he made his way out of the bathroom checking to see that he had not left any wet spots. Satisfied that the bathroom looked okay he headed to the door his master had indicated was where he should sleep.

He stopped short as soon as he entered. There must have been a mistake of some kind. The room Harry had entered was a bedroom. A Bedroom!!

He hurried back out of the room to make sure he'd not mistakenly entered by the wrong door but no, this was where his master had indicated.

Entering the room once again Harry took in every detail.

The whole floor was covered with a thick rug which made Harry want to curl his toes in. Against one wall was a standing wardrobe. Next to that was a desk with a chair. What took Harry by surprise the most was what was in the middle of the room against the other wall. A bed. One huge, magnificent bed. The blankets and sheets looked so inviting that Harry could barely keep from touching them.

Coming back to his senses, Harry quickly discerned the best place for him to sleep. As the whole floor was covered with a thick carpet Harry had difficulty finding an uncomfortable place for him to rest. Everywhere was so soft!!

Making the decision to sleep in the corner where least of the other things in the room were, right opposite the desk, Harry settled down with a contented sigh and was quickly asleep.

hpsshpsshpss

Harry awoke early the next morning. It took him a while to get his bearings but as soon as he took in the room, his memories returned. He was at a magic school. He had a new master whom had gifted him with such a nice room and soft rug! Even though he felt some apprehension for when his new master would demand the sexual aspects of their relationship to be fulfilled, he couldn't wait to lie in that bed.

Harry knew that they had descended quite far in the castle the previous evening and was rather startled to realize that there was a window in his room. Which showed him what was outside! He had thought they were too deep underground for a window.

The amount of light and position of the moon that shone through the window gave him a rough estimate of the time and he discerned that it was somewhere between 5 and 6 in the morning.

As he had gone to sleep earlier than usual last night it didn't surprise him that he woke up equally as early.

He wondered for a moment what to do and decided that since his master had asked him to be awake no later than 7 that the man himself would be up fairly early. Making his decision, Harry put on the best clothes he had and made his way to the kitchen.

It took some time for him to figure out the layout of the place but he was soon relatively comfortable with his knowledge of the room.

The mugs and sugar bowl wasn't hard to find, the same with some spoons. A kettle and the fridge was quite a different story.

After about the sixth 'cupboard' door he opened he finally came across one that was as cold as any normal fridge. Harry guessed that it was once again a magic trick and didn't worry too much over it.

He could still not find a kettle though. A very long cylindrical contraption caught his eye and he could see that the vertical cylinder was attached to the water pipes in the wall.

Going closer and putting a tentative hand against it he hissed in surprised when his hand burned a bit. He had found what apparently passed for a kettle or urn in the magical world.

Sighing in relief Harry quickly finished what he had started and was just exiting the kitchen with a warm mug of what he guessed was tea – it was the only thing he could find – when his master emerged from his room.

Harry hastened over to his side and placed the mug on a coaster he found on the living room table.

He glanced up from under his fringe and could see that his master was giving him an odd look.

He only hoped he had not done anything to offend the man.

"Just what exactly IS that Potter?" His master asked in a cold voice.

Harry lowered his eyes to the floor and answered in a soft voice.

"I've made you some tea master. It was the only thing I could find in the kitchen. Do you wish me to make something else?"

His master was quiet for a long moment and Harry dreaded what would come.

"You made me tea." His master voiced it more as a statement than a question but Harry nodded all the same.

"Why?"

Harry was confused. Why would his master ask _him_ why he made him the tea? It was what he was supposed to do, wasn't it?

"I wished to please you master."

"So you thought that if you did me this one 'favor', you would get into my good graces? You're even more pathetic than I thought."

Harry had heard the same thing his whole life and it didn't make any difference to him now. He was pleased to find that despite his master's words he still drank the tea Harry had offered.

"Well, don't just stand there Potter, sit down or go entertain yourself in your bedroom. We'll have to discuss your schedule sometime but that can wait for now."

Harry debated on what to do and in the end decided to just sit down so that he could still be there if his master needed anything.

"The _floor_ Potter? My furniture suddenly not good enough for you, is it?"

Harry's previous master had once tricked him by saying something similar. He had coaxed Harry until he sat on the couch but as soon as Harry had seated himself he had been slapped across the face. He did not wish to relive the experience.

"Answer me when I speak to you boy!"

"Yes master. I'm sorry master."

"Sorry won't cut it Potter! If you're too high and mighty for my furniture or company then I suggest you make yourself scarce."

Harry didn't move. He had not been given a direct order and with his previous master he had learned that _nothing_ he did would be considered right. He just waited out his punishment.

The silence stretched between them and Harry was just beginning to relax a little when a deep sigh interrupted his musings.

"Is your bed at least made, I don't like house elves in my rooms so you'll have to get used to making your own bed and keeping your room clean."

"My bed master?"

"Yes your bed you imbecile! That big rectangular thing in the middle of your room where you sleep in at night, _that bed_."

Harry just kept looking at his master in confusion. _His_ bed? What did the man mean, _his_ bed?

His master swept by him in a flurry of black robes and Harry could see that he had entered Harry's room.

"Potter!"

Harry was up in an instant. His master did **not** sound pleased.

"Yes master?"

"Stop with all the master stuff Potter! You're my apprentice and while I may be your master during the apprenticeship there is no need to continue calling me so. Sir, would suffice."

Harry lowered his head as he felt his heart drop to his stomach. What had he done that his master didn't want to be called as such anymore? Would he be sent away now?

"Potter, where exactly did you sleep last night?"

The question was so out of the blue and unrelated to any of his thoughts that it took Harry some time to process it. When he did, he was once again confused.

"Where I usually sleep master, er sir." Harry corrected as he saw his master give him a scathing look.

"Impertinence will get you nowhere boy! Where. Did. You. Sleep?"

Harry pointed to the corner he had made his 'home' in and said softly: "There master"

His master slowly made his way over to where Harry pointed and to Harry's confusion he picked up the bag with Harry's clothes and scowled as he made his way back to Harry.

"Come with me Potter!"

Harry followed his master with dread in his heart.

He was being sent away.

It was like Master Vernon had always told him. No one else would take him. Vernon had looked after him out of the goodness of his heart. Now Harry would have no one. No master to please. Nothing.

Harry could practically _feel_ the eyes boring into him and he looked up to see his master sitting on the living room couch giving Harry a very odd look.

"Sit down Potter."

Harry sat.

On the floor, right where he had been standing.

His master stood.

Harry lowered his eyes as his master circled around him.

"Well, well, well, what _do_ we have here? Stand up boy and make me some more tea."

The relief Harry felt was almost palpable. "Yes master." He quickly stood and hurried to the kitchen. Maybe he was _not_ being sent away, he could always hope.

The tea was done within minutes and he set in down in front of his master.

"Have you eaten yet Potter?"

Harry looked up at that. Eaten? He had had something to eat the previous day. Was that what his master meant?

"Answer me when I ask you a question boy! When was the last time you ate?" Well, that was easier to answer at least.

"Yesterday morning master."

"What have I said about being called 'master'? Never mind. If what I think is going on is really going on then that is the least of our worries."

Harry wasn't sure if the man had spoken to him or more to himself.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions Potter and you'd better answer them honestly."

"Yes master."

"Go and make yourself a sandwich Potter. Use two slices of bread, butter, ham and cheese. And you will eat it ALL or face the consequences."

Hpsshpsshpsshpsshpss

Severus sighed. It would take eons to get the boy to call him something other than master. If what he suspected was true then it might even be a lost cause. Looking up at the almost non-existent shuffling his keen hearing picked up Severus had to suppress a groan. Potter had done what he had asked but apparently the boy had searched out the least appealing of the food he could find. Using the two-day old bread which Severus had been meaning to throw to the giant squid, the cheese which had begun to harden after it was left uncovered yesterday (Potter's fault naturally, as the boy had taken up his time with being called to the headmaster's office) but at least the ham was fresh.

"Have you ever called someone other than me by the title 'master'." He would address the boy later about his eating habits. Severus first had to find out exactly WHAT he was dealing with.

"Yes master."

"Who?"

"My previous master, master."

Severus gritted his teeth in frustration. It was becoming readily apparent that he had been correct in his guess as to what was wrong with the boy.

"Did your previous master have a name Potter? If so, what was it?" Rather ask complete and specified questions than sit there the whole day trying to drag the truth from Potter.

"Yes master. It was Vernon master. My uncle."

Surprise etched on his features and Severus ruthlessly squashed it down. That would actually explain a lot.

"When was the first time you had called him master?"

Potter blinked and a thoughtful look crossed his face. "I, er, I'm not sure exactly when, it was about 6 years ago??"

Severus snarled inwardly. This was more complicated than he had at first thought it would be.

Being a submissive was one thing. Having a dominant forced on you and basically being 'beaten' into submissive behavior was quite another thing.

Severus was certain that that is what had happened. He couldn't think that Potter would have _chosen_ to be a submissive at that young an age!

"I'll assume, and correct me if I'm wrong Potter, that your previous master requested you to do some, shall we say – questionable things, to and for him?"

Seeing the frown gracing Potter's forehead Severus explained in more detail.

"Did he ever ask you to do things which involved touching him, him touching you or you being touched by someone of his choosing?"

"Yes sir. My aunt touched me when she bathed me and my cousin touched me when he wanted someone to 'play' with."

"Do NOT try my patience boy!! Did anyone, your master included, ever touch you in a very private place, your groin for example?"

Potter gazed at Severus with a confused yet earnest expression.

"Yes sir. All the time."

It was said in such a calm and matter-of-fact tone that Severus actually flinched. Yes, he Flinched!

"And have you ever touched people in the same place?"

"Yes sir, but only in the front."

That was little to no consolation to Severus's peace of mind.

**End chapter 1.**

Okay, that's it.

Please Review!!!


	2. A new way of living

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary: **This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone had expected he'd be when he first entered Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**AN:** Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!! Do NOT worry, I've 78 267 words written and I'm still going, so, no abandoning of this fic at the moment...

_"And have you ever touched people in the same place?"_

_"Yes sir, but only in the front."_

_That was little to no consolation to Severus's peace of mind._

**Chapter 2: A new way of living**

Harry couldn't remember the last time he had cried. Really, truly cried. It had to have been his first year with master Vernon. Vernon had quickly rid him of any desire to do so during that period though.

Now though, here where Harry lay he couldn't help but let the tears fall. His last conversation with his new master repeated itself in his head.

**Flashback**  
_"Your situation is quite complicated Mr Potter, and I'm afraid that you are too young and too_ innocent _in a way – despite everything you've been through, to understand the ramifications of our current situation."_

_Harry kept his head bent as his master spoke but he still heard every word. They didn't make any sense to him but he knew that he had to listen incase something was said that he had to take in or that he had to respond to._

_"I assume that you think of me as your new master, correct?"_

_"Yes master" Harry answered. Yes, this was his new master but the situation was kind of surreal to him at the moment. He was actually having a decent if not quite_ normal _conversation with his master. One-sided though it may be._

_"I don't know how your previous master handled things and quite frankly I have no desire to find out. I will compile a list of rules that should be adhered to at_ all _times. Some of the things on that list will be alien to you, such as where you sleep, what you wear and what you eat. Do not fret; things will be no worse, even better, than your previous situation. You will do as I say, when I say it." Harry could have sworn he had heard something like; _Though that doesn't concern me if how you've behaved thus far is any indication _but he couldn't be certain._

_"I will ask you some more questions Potter and you will answer me as honestly as you can."_

_"Yes master." It was quite strange, all these questions, Harry couldn't remember the last time his master,_ ex-master _he reminded himself, had asked _him _questions. The only thing Harry usually got was orders or beatings._

_"What do you usually eat when given food and how often did you receive nourishment?"_

_It was one of the strangest, no scratch that,_ the _strangest question ever posed to him. "Er, well, umm usually some scraps and left-over food after my master has eaten and his family been fed. And er, usually about every second day but sometimes, when master was in a good mood, I got food every day."_

_His master snarled again but Harry realized with a start that it wasn't directed at him. It hadn't been him who had angered his master!!_

_"I'll assume that the same goes for water or any other kind of refreshment." Harry just nodded._

_"The first thing on the list will be, and you'd better listen now; you will eat three times a day. I will provide you with a potion – that is some sort of medication – which will help your digestive system with the increase in food. We will start out slow and with small portions but I want you eating like a normal, healthy eleven year old by Christmas. You are allowed to drink as much water as you like, though I suggest you take it slow at the beginning, and whatever else you wish to drink."_

_Harry could do nothing more than stare at his master. He quickly realized what he was doing and lowered his eyes with a slight blush. He would get to eat three times a day!! And water or 'other refreshments' – whatever that meant – whenever he wanted! Was this a dream? Harry couldn't remember the last time he had dreamed of something like this. It had to have been three or four years ago._

_"The second thing may be harder to grasp than the first. You will sleep in the bed that is in your room. You will sleep there every night except if I say otherwise. I will not ask any 'pleasurable services' from you to do so."_

_Harry hadn't quite understood the last part but he was stuck on that second sentence. Sleep in a bed. Sleep in the bed in your room. That huge magnificent bed he had wanted to touch so badly last night. He was to_ sleep _in it! He, Harry Potter, boy, freak!!_

_Harry looked up as his chin was lifted with a strong hand. His master was looking at him with an odd expression, he had never seen anything like it before but he could sense that it was nothing_ bad _exactly_.

_"Go and sleep in your bed Potter. It is Sunday today and we will have plenty of time later to deal with your schedule. For now I want you to rest, sleep."_

_The voice was still a bit cold but not as harsh as it had been. Harry was confused and he felt another burning sensation behind his eyes. His master gave him a hard look and then pointedly looked at_ his _bedroom – Harry could still not believe it – and he quickly made his way over to his door._

**End Flashback**

The tears came harder after that remembered scene. What had he done to deserve this? He didn't deserve it!! He was a freak, a mistake and a disgrace to human beings.

Yet, his new master had ordered him to sleep in a _bed!!_. The soft velvety feeling under his chin was still alien to him, as well as the softness of the mattress.

He had been ordered to bed an hour ago but he just couldn't let his mind rest. The change in his 'living arrangements' was weird to say the least, and he was happy about it – he was!!! – but another sensation crept through him.

What would he have to do, in order to _deserve_ all these things. To be allowed to eat three times a day?

With master Vernon, he had had to either give a blow-job or _himself_ in order to warrant a meal. One meal!

He shuddered as he thought of everything he would have to do in order to deserve, merit, these luxuries given to him.

Harry had to suppress a gasp of surprise as his bedroom door flew open. There framed in the opening stood his master. He had quite a severe expression on his face and Harry had to concentrate hard on NOT cringing back.

Oh, this was going to be bad. Harry just hoped and prayed that he had cleaned himself sufficiently the night before. Vernon had _hated_ it if Harry was not clean.

"Do you not understand the concept of _sleeping_ Mr Potter?"

Harry wanted dearly to answer his master but he just didn't know _how_ to answer such a question.

"Do you not understand the concept of sleeping _in_ a bed Mr Potter?"

His master was stepping closer now and Harry was horrified to realize that his breathing had sped up.

"You will get _under_ those blankets in the next five seconds or suffer the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes master." Harry had concentrated hard on making his voice sound as normal as possible and was relieved to find that succeeded at least a little.

Scrambling to get under the covers – he had to repress the desire to feel their softness – Harry settled back and looked in the general direction his master had last been.

"I will come back in ten minutes and if you are not asleep I will give you a potion. It is quite a nasty potion which lets you relive the most horrible moments of your life over and over again until someone wakes you with ice water over your head. Seeing as I will NOT be happy with you should you need this potion, you can be sure that I won't wake you for hours if not days."

Harry could feel the horror he felt etch on his face but suppressed it as best he could. Oh, he'll sleep, he will do everything he could to fall asleep as soon as possible.

His master nodded once and left the room.

By sheer will alone, Harry let himself fall asleep but he knew that he would still have some of those horror filled dreams his master had mentioned. He had them every night after all…

---------------------------------------------------------------

If there was one thing Severus hated doing it was to horrify an abused child but it had to be done.

The fact that "Dreamless Sleep" meant exactly what the name suggested made it even worse for him. Potter needed to become accustomed to his new surroundings and find 'an inner peace' to help him sleep as well as settle in.

To move too quickly with Potter would do more damage than good as he had years of abuse to work through.

Abuse, which had gone on for a lifetime in Potter's perspective, but which the boy doesn't even _realize_ was abuse.

The tear tracks on Potter's face had had a much unexpected effect on Severus. He had thought that he would either feel anger – toward the blubbering Dursley – or pity, for the Potter boy.

What he had felt though was relief. Relief that the boy _could_ still express some emotions without prompt. Relief that the boy wasn't completely lost to them.

It would take years he had realized, to rid Potter of most of his natural reactions. A thought which had entered Severus when he had first realized what Potter was, was still running through his head.

He knew, from personal experience during his Death Eater days, that a submissive – especially one as young as Potter and with his unique 'situation' – would never be completely rid of their submissive behavior. Always wanting to do things for their elders, or betters. Always waiting for permission to do something which they desired. It would be near impossible to break that behavior completely and that is where Severus's thoughts had taken him now.

Maybe he _shouldn't_ try to break that behavior completely. He had had his own share of submissive pets – complements of Voldemort – and knew exactly how to treat one.

Could he do that again? Could he drag up all his memories and become a Dom once again?

He knew he would have to talk to Albus about this. Potter's privacy notwithstanding, the headmaster would have to know. He would not express his opinion of how _deeply_ the abuse had run but he would express his desire to help Potter by becoming his Dominant.

Severus could just imagine Albus's expression. A horrified pity would first be displayed before changing to Albus's cunning, sly grin – which he only ever expressed in Severus's presence – he would then pat Severus on the back and tell him to do as he thinks is best.

The headmaster's desire to see some 'peace' between the Snape and Potter family would overrule any reluctance he might feel about a student being a pet to one of his Professors.

Legalization of their 'relationship' would have to be settled. Wizards – though not commonly known or done in modern society – still practiced the old ways. As long as such a relationship was made legal and known to the ministry, nothing could be done to or about the participants.

To keep it from the public would be more difficult but Severus knew just the person to help them out with that.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Severus shook his head as he made his way back to his dungeons. Albus would be horrified to know that he had become predictable to Severus.

Everything had gone exactly as he had imagined it. The various expressions he had imagined and even the wording had been close. He had just been wrong about the pat on the back to send him off. Instead Albus had given him a bowl of those blasted Lemon Drops and told him to be sure to share it with his new charge.

A strange feeling settled in Severus. It was a mixture of apprehension and excitement. He would admit, to himself or anyone else, that he was a very good Dom.

The only problem was that being a true Dom and being what Voldemort had asked him to be was not one and the same.

He had been exceptionally good in breaking children, in turning them into the best slaves or pets they could be.

To now have someone on his hands that had been beaten into a slave, more than a sub, from as young an age as five or six was quite different.

The challenge before him now was to help the boy see that being a submissive did not mean he was a slave, sexual wise or other wise.

The appearance of his door brought Severus back from his musings and he whispered the password.

He only realized exactly how long he had been with Albus when his eyes landed on Potter, standing like a lost dog in his kitchen.

A cup of tea had been settled on the table in the living room, on a coaster at least, and Severus could see a platter with what looked like two slices of bread, eggs and cheese before Potter.

The boy's eyes lit up just a little and Severus watched as Potter made his way over to his 'cooler'. A packet of rashers was soon opened and placed on the hotplate next to Potter.

Severus had almost forgotten about the hotplate. Having bought it years ago when he had traveled through the country on search of potions ingredients he had needed something on which he could cook.

A startled exclamation roused Severus from his thoughts and his wand was in his hand before he could even blink. It was quite fortunate as he was just in time to levitate the plate Potter had dropped with his exclamation.

Potter looked like someone caught in the light of the killing curse as he watched first with a horror filled expression on his face as the plate dropped and then with wonder as it stayed in the air just above the ground.

Severus moved closer and Potter looked up at him before lowering his eyes again.

"You were startled Potter, no need to beat yourself up over it."

Potter mumbled what sounded like "Yes master" and Severus suppressed a sigh.

"This is for you master." Potter presented the plate of food to Severus.

"Have you eaten?"

"No master"

"Remember what I said yesterday. You will eat three times a day, in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening. If I ask you again if you've eaten and you say "No" then there will be consequences."

"Yes master"

Potter stayed exactly where he was.

"You will not be required to stay with me whenever I am here. I will call for you when I need you. There is a bookcase behind you. Start at the bottom. Those are the first year books. You will read the whole of the bottom row by the end of the year. Whenever I am here and do not require you to do anything for me, you will read, eat, sleep or do anything else you wish."

"Do you understand? Explain to me what you've understood."

"Yes master. I will eat in the morning, afternoon and evening. I will read the books for the first years, and I will sleep. When you need me you will call for me and I will come."

Potter lifted his head with a hesitant expression. "Is that correct master?"

"Yes, that is correct. Now, go on and make yourself some breakfast."

"Yes master."

--------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day had gone surprisingly well. Potter was still hesitant in his doings and stayed an inordinate amount of time in Severus's presence but it was an improvement, however little.

"Come here Potter."

The boy stood up from where he had been sitting on the floor in front of the bookcase. It had proved surprisingly difficult to get Potter to sit on any furniture and he was still hesitant to do so.

"I have compiled the list of rules you must adhere to. You will see that one of the points on the list is that you must obey ALL Professors as if they were me. The students, as soon as they find out what kind of person you are, will try to take advantage of you. They will tell you to do their homework for them, to carry their book bags, to do any number of things. You will NOT do anything for any student which they can do for themselves. Anything you can do, they can do, so you'll know what they can do for themselves and what not."

"Yes master. Obey all Professors and don't do anything for a student that they can do themselves."

"Very good. You will sit with me tomorrow morning during breakfast. I will point out each house to you and from tomorrow afternoon you will circulate your seating arrangements between the houses. You will start by sitting at the Slythering table tomorrow afternoon and evening. Tuesday, you will sit with the Ravenclaws during each meal. Wednesday with Hufflepuffs and Thursday with the Gryffindors." Severus spat out the last name and Potter looked confused for a moment before blanking his expression again.

"If anyone push you, hit you, slap you, pull a wand out and curse, hex or charm you, you will come to me immediately. You will NOT retaliate in any way. I will mostly always be either in my classroom, which I will show to you on our way to breakfast tomorrow morning, in my office which is next to my classroom, in the Great Hall which is where you will eat or here, in our chambers. If you cannot find me, go to any of the Professors and ask them to find me."

"Yes master. And the other days master?"

The question was hesitantly posed but Severus was relieved to hear it. It had taken hours to convince Potter that he is allowed to ask questions. Way harder than to get the boy to repeat what he understood after Severus gave him instructions.

"As there are more days in a week than houses you will sit with me on Fridays and the weekends we will mostly eat in my – our- quarters. Here in other words."

"Yes master. Eat with Slytherin on Mondays, Ravenclaws on Tuesdays, Hufflepuffls on Wednesdays and Gryffindors on Thursdays."

Severus had to work very hard on suppressing a smile as he heard Potter repeat the names in exactly the same tone and intonation he had used when first giving his orders to Potter. Hearing the name Gryffindor being spat from Potters mouth was quite liberating to say the least.

"Very Good. I believe you have read enough for one day. Go and wash up – in the shower or bath – and then you are free to do as you please. You will go to bed, _and sleep_, at nine o'clock."

"Yes master." And with that the boy was off to do as ordered.

Severus hoped dearly that he would not have to order the boy to do everything for the rest of his life!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

**"Out Potter!! Out!!!**"

Potter scrambled as quickly as he could to get out but Severus could still see the hurt the boy was trying to hide as he shouted at the boy.

Having your peace and relaxation interrupted while in the _bath_ was not an experience Severus wanted to relive.

He had been listening to the music he had charmed to play and relaxing in the bath when a soap filled sponge had surely and deftly began washing him.

The site that met him as he had opened his eyes had brought rage as well as utter humiliation to him.

Potter, bent over the bath and washing Severus with a look of concentration on his face had NOT been anything Severus had ever imagined.

At first Severus was too shocked to do anything but then he had come back to his senses and demanded to know **what** the boy could possibly think he was doing!!

The calm response "I'm washing you master" had infuriated him and he shouted at the boy to get out.

Humiliation and anger turned to reluctant acceptance as Severus realized that the boy was probably used to doing something like this.

Finishing his bath quickly and resigning himself to the fact that this would probably not be the last time he would find himself in such a situation, Severus dressed himself and made his way over to Potter's room.

Relief washed over him as he found Potter asleep on his bed. He did NOT want to have to speak to the boy about what had happened just now, that could wait for later, way later.

Tugging the blankets out from under Potter he put them over the boy and left to his own rooms. Refusing to acknowledge what he had just done.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The legalization of their relationship was done quickly and silently. The fact that he knew a very personal and well kept secret of Rita Skeeter ensured that she would do everything in her power to dig up dirt on someone else to keep attention away from Severus and Potter.

Potter had settled in surprisingly well with his schedule. Confusing and hectic thought it was. It was as confusing for the Professors as for Potter.

Seeing Potter enter with the Slytherins for Potions on Monday and with the Hufflepuffs on Tuesday was enough to confuse anyone.

Three Gryffindors, two Ravenclaws and two Slytherins had already earned themselves detentions for their trouble in belittling Potter.

Severus realized that he would have to do something and soon, as students had begun to realize that, according to them, Potter was a tattle tale.

The knowledge that Potter had been _ordered_ to tell Severus everything that happened to him could not be made public but Severus also didn't want his charge to be know as a ponce who couldn't stand up for himself.

One talk and order later Severus had another problem on hand.

Potter had not had time to get his wand yet and had – as Severus had instructed he do when necessary – retaliated with harsh words. Being unable to defend himself he had come back to Severus on Friday evening with boils littering his arms and a disturbingly blank expression on his face.

When ordered to explain everything it had come out that a boy by the name of Ron Weasley had apparently bad mouthed Severus. Potter, feeling that he should defend his master had done so with harsh words and degrading comments he had learned from Severus himself.

Severus was surprised by how quickly the boy picked up his habits and expressions.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Severus had always been very pleased with himself when he had been correct in predicting the happenings around him.

This time though, he was as far from pleased as could be.

It was Saterday night and Severus had just returned with Potter from Diagon Alley. They had collected supplies for the boy as well as a wand. The fact that it was the brother wand to the Dark Lord sent shivers down Severus's spine.

Relaxing in the bath Severus had all but forgotten the incident a few days ago and was thus once again startled when a sponge began to wash him.

Taking deep breaths in order to calm himself he turned to Potter.

"Potter, look at me." The boy did so hesitantly. "You are not required to wash me. I –thank- you for your care but do not require your services. You will only ever enter this bathroom when you need it yourself or if I give you express permission to do so when I myself am in here. Is that clear?"

"Yes master. Only enter when I need to do so to clean myself or when you tell me to."

"Very Good, now get back to your reading. Professor McGonagall told me that you were one of only two students who knew the answer to her questions on Thursday. It pleases me to know that you're doing well."

Potter got a hesitant smile on his face before nodding and excusing himself.

Severus sighed and relaxed back in the water. It disturbed him how comfortable he had become around the boy. Being obeyed immediately and without question was also a long forgotten experience for him but he decided he could get used to it very soon.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"…like being a teacher's pet! You're either too stupid or scared to do anything against a professor. Always obeying them, never standing up to them when they tell you you're wrong and ratting out on the students those first few days!! It's disgusting! How could _you_ be the savior of the world? You're nothing but a freak!"

Severus's blood boiled just below the surface. Whispers had been circulating for the past few weeks but this was the first real confrontation he had heard. That it was with Potter himself was worrying.

"I'm sorry. I'm a freak I kn…"

Severus quickly stepped forward to stop Potter from incriminating himself any further.

"**What** seems to be the problem here Mr Weasley?" Potter turned to him with a startled expression which quickly turned into relief. His master was here, everything would be okay now.

"Er, nothing sir, we were just talking." Weasley was looking everywhere but at Severus.

"Nothing you say? Correct me if I'm wrong Mr Weasley, but I thought I just heard you calling another student some very degrading names." His voice practically dripped with venom and Weasley hastily stepped back into the throng of students behind him.

"You will do well Mr Weasley, to watch your tongue. Have you taken the time to get to know the students you degrade? Have you taken the time to find out why they are the way the are? Have you taken the time to think that not everyone in this school comes from loving families, with doting parents? No? Then I suggest you think on that Mr Weasley for the next time I hear you say anything like what you've just told Mr Potter, you will not merely receive a detention. Your mother will be informed and I hear that she is quite something when angered…"

The threat worked as intended and Weasley apologized quickly before disappearing through the crowd.

"What are you all looking at? Your classes start in one minute and those with me will find that if I'm there before you the consequences would be severe." Students scattered in all directions.

"Come Potter, if I'm not mistaken you've a free period now? Yes? Good, you'll go down to our chambers and read the next chapter in your Potions book. I will speak with you this evening."

With that Severus turned around and stalked to his classroom. He hoped that some students would be late, he dearly wanted to rip someone's head off – Weasley's preferably but he'd settle for any idiotic student at the moment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cruelty of what Potter had gone through had always been in the back of Severus' mind but it had faded after their first month of living together.

Seeing Potter's startled expression when he bent down to pick up Severus's presents for him and finding some with his own name on it brought it all back to Severus.

He had known, somewhere in his mind that with the way Potter had lived, he would most certainly not have received any presents in previous years, be it birthday presents or Christmas presents.

Knowing it, and seeing the result with your own eyes was quite different.

Potter just stood there and stared at the presents as though it would either bite him or disappear at any moment.

"Master?"

Severus focused his attention on Potter when he heard the question in his voice.

"Come here Potter."

The boy hesitantly sat on the seat next to Severus.

"We have had many talks over the last few months. You have come to realize that it is alright, and even expected of you to eat three times a day. The same goes with sleeping in a bed. Many other things have come to light and I'm proud of how well you've dealt with them. I can guess that when you'd lived with your previous master," Severus spat out the words and was heartened when Potter didn't even blink "that your cousin received numerous presents on his birthday or Christmas?"

"Yes master."

"Now, it is custom for people who _care_ for each other, for friends, families, acquaintances and anyone who wants to, to give presents to those they whish. I believe that the headmaster had left that top present here for you. There is one from Professor McGonagall as well as some of your classmates."

Potter looked at him – not completely in the eye but at least he had looked up from the floor. "Those are for _me_?"

"Yes Potter, some of those are for you."

"You may give me one labeled with my name and at the same time take one with your name on it. We will open them at the same time."

Potter quickly stood up and bent in front of the Christmas tree – If Minerva _ever_ found out that he had a _Christmas tree_ in his rooms he would never live it down!

A present was pressed into his hands and he looked at where Potter had seated him – on the floor – and was turning the present around and around as though he didn't know where to start. He probably didn't, Severus realized.

"Use your nails if you wish and just rip the paper. To go through the whole process of 'un-sticking' the spello-tape would take an eternity."

Potter did as directed and was soon the grand owner of an Invisibility cloak. Severus would remind himself later to kill Albus.

"What is this master?"

"It is an invisibility cloak. Stand up and put it around yourself. Good, now look down."

"Eeak!! Where am I? Is my body in one of your potions now like you always threaten the class?"

Severus smirked at Potter before explaining the use of an invisibility cloak.

Half an hour and several ripped packages later Severus watched with what he refused to acknowledge was a small smile as Potter tried on the jacket he had received from Minerva and tasted tentatively on the "Berty Botts" beans he had received from some or other classmate.

Potter's situation with his classmates reminded him uncomfortably of his own school days.

Potter had only a hand full of friends as most students still saw him as a teacher's pet. But really!, was it the boy's fault that he actually _studied_ while others mucked about as they wished?

The last present was one from Severus himself. Potter smiled shyly up at him as he fingered the journal in his hands.

Severus had had a hard time thinking of something 'productive' he could get the boy. The journal was ideal in that it could help Potter express himself, even if it was only _to_ himself. Severus had also requested that should he feel the need to, he be allowed to read what Potter had written. The boy had of course acquiesced immediately and Severus growled softly at the quick agreement. He will work on that, soon!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus refused to belief that the knot in his stomach was anything other than indigestion. An incident on Halloween crept into his mind and he cursed himself for not looking deeper into the situation.

With Potter taking up most of his spare time, Severus had had little time to concentrate on anything else.

Now, as he rushed up to the Hospital Wings after a summons from Albus, he imagined the worse.

Potter had not come back to their quarters this evening, and seeing as it was eleven at night, Severus was, as could be expected, quite furious at the moment.

Entering the infirmary and seeing Potter, pale but alive sent a feeling of such relief through him that Severus held on to the door handle longer than was strictly necessary.

"Ah, Severus, I'm glad you could make it here so quickly. It seems that Mr Potter here had been dragged into quite an adventure by some other students. I've not had the opportunity to question Mr Potter himself but Miss Granger told me that Mr Weasley had decided that the only way for Mr Potter to show that he really wasn't a 'teacher's pet or, as she had put it, a 'ponce', was for him to follow them on a secret adventure.

How those two had figured out where or what the 'Philosopher's Stone' is, is still a mystery, but they had taken Mr Potter along with them to find out who was after the stone."

Severus growled as he heard that it was once again Weasley whom had put his charge in danger and was plotting how to get his revenge when the headmaster continued.

"It seems that they had been under the impression that it was _you_ who was after the stone, even after much reassurance from Mr Potter that you are not 'an evil git'." Severus snorted at that and couldn't help but think that students were quite pathetic to never come up with any better insult than 'evil git' or 'greasy git'.

"Needless to say, they made it through every obstacle we had placed in their way and in the end Mr Potter had been the only one see something in the mirror worth mentioning."

"Mr Weasley had apparently seen himself as head-boy and quidditch captain. Miss Granger had seen herself in an endless corridor filled with rows and rows of books. Mr Potter on the other hand had seen himself with the stone."

"Professor Quirrel it seems had been housing Voldemort in the back of his head all this time and it was no effort for Voldemort to get the information from Mr Potter's mind. When ordered to take the stone from Potter, Quirrel had to touch Mr Potter and that seemed to be his un-doing. According to Miss Granger, he just turned to ash right before their eyes."

The tale was so far-fetched that it might actually be true.

Severus turned to face his charge and swore to himself that he would teach the boy Occlumency if it was the last thing he did.

"Thank you headmaster for informing me. I will take Mr Potter down to my chambers now and we will see you tomorrow at the leaving feast."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he saw the dour Potions Professor bent down to gently pick Harry up and exit the wing with as much care as possible.

Albus once again thanked Merlin for giving them Harry Potter, whom else could have done _that_ to Severus?

**End Chapter 2**

Thank you all for reading!  
Please review!!


	3. Submissive and Master

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone had expected he'd be when he first entered Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**AN: ****Sally: **Thank you for the review. I'm definitely **not **going to post the fic here with a MA warning, I'll mellow it down, don't worry. I'm actually posting it here so others can also read it as some are not allowed on the other sites… or they don't even know of other sites ;)…

**IMPORTANT AN**: I'll post two chapters in one today and most likely again tomorrow or so. I'm editing this as I go along to make sure that it is not MA rated but 'M'. If you feel that there are still too many descriptive things or scenes, let me know and I'll re-edit it…

If you don't know what a Dominant and a Submissive is then you won't understand any of the rest of the story, I warn you now!!

**Chapter 3: To be a submissive**

Harry kept as close to the wall as possible. The rest of the students had left a few days ago and Harry had been in his master's quarters ever since. An hour ago his master had ordered him to _"Get out and keep yourself busy! There's plenty to do in such a huge castle, I'm sure you'll be able to find something to occupy your time with."_

Now Harry was creeping through the corridors sticking as close to the nearest tangible thing, which was a wall, as possible.

Being ordered to keep himself busy was still very new to Harry and the hurt he felt every time his master ordered him away was finally beginning to lessen a bit. He knew he would be able to go back, that's all that mattered.

Harry had heard about the library from various students but had never been there himself. Finding himself in a room filled with books from top to bottom had not really been what he had expected. Okay, he hadn't really expected _anything_ as he hadn't known what a library looks like.

A woman with a severe expression on her face watched him with keen eyes as he wandered around the room.

The books his master had ordered him to read had long since developed into the second and recently third row of books.

He found himself fascinated with everything magic related and as he wandered around the room he knew he could come to love the place.

A book in the section for younger years caught his attention and he was soon engrossed in the explanations and opinions on pain relieve potions and salves.

To think that one bottle of potion could rid someone of almost _any_ pain imaginable was almost too much for him to take in.

The book also referenced some other volumes of the higher years' books but Harry steered clear of them. His master had expressly forbidden him to read anything higher than fourth year without his presence to explain certain things. What things that was Harry didn't know but he thought it might have something to do with "Unforgivable Curses" which he had overheard some sixth years talking about.

The name itself implied that it was not for younger eyes and ears.

So engrossed in his readings was he that it wasn't until a shadow loomed over him that he looked up, and gulped.

It had been a long time since his master had looked at him with quite such a harsh expression on his face and it was only when Harry's eyes scanned the windows that he realized his mistake.

His master had ordered him to be back _before_ dinner and judging by the non-existent light outside, he was quite a bit late.

"Have I, or have I not, ordered you to be back before dinner?" The voice was cold and it seemed to slice right through Harry.

"Yes master" he whispered.

"Then why, pray tell, did you not arrive as such?" His master took a step forward and Harry, for the first time in months, feared the raising of a fist.

"I'm sorry master. I lost track of time." He knew it would make no difference to the punishment he would receive but it settled his peace of mind.

"Come with me and you had better not repeat this mistake again, am I clear?"

"Yes master"

Harry followed as silently and as quickly as possible. He had tried his utmost best during the last year to do everything his master asked of him. A thought had once flashed through his mind, that he had always obeyed master Vernon with the same zeal, but he refused to acknowledge the truth of the thought. The fact that Vernon had punished him on a daily basis whereas master Severus had not once lifted a hand to him was puzzling as well as filling Harry with what could only be dread.

For that could mean only one of two things. Either he was in for the punishment of his life now that the holidays had come and that master Severus had not wanted to punish him while others were nearby. He actually preferred that option to the second one as the second one held too many consequences to think about.

His second conclusion was that master Vernon had been wrong about another thing. He had been wrong in that he had always said there's no such thing as magic, as Harry could personally attest to that being false. The thought that master Vernon had been wrong in punishing Harry as much as he had, had only briefly flashed through Harry's mind and he had refused to think on it ever since. It would mean that his whole life had been a lie and that thought filled him with dread.

Harry came back to his senses just before he could bump into his master.

Master Severus scowled down at him and Harry fought the urge to cringe back.

"Go to your room and lie down on the bed, I'll be there in a minute."

The fact that his master hadn't even looked at him while giving the order caused a sharp pain to flare in his chest.

He had at first feared any and every small noise he had heard when he had come to live with Master Severus. Over the months he had become, however reluctant he was to admit it, lax in his behavior and with regard to his surroundings.

The fact that Master Severus had now sent him to bed, which he had never done before in that context, brought back memories from his previous master.

Harry sat down on the bed and fought the urge to squirm or even rush out again. His shoes were quickly off and he settled down on the bed.

Master Severus entered a few moments later and at first he just looked at Harry. There was a curiously blank expression on his face and Harry didn't know what to make of it.

"Relax for the moment Potter, I am not going to do anything to you until we've talked. You will still receive your punishment but first I want to explain something to you."

Harry was horrified to realize how much those few words relaxed him but he realized that he actually believed his master. When Vernon had told him something, the opposite would happen. With master Severus, Harry had come to realize that the man was generally as honest as possible.

"You will listen without interrupting. When I am finished you may ask any questions you wish, is that clear?"

"Yes master."

"Good. You may not believe what I am going to tell you and you may not even understand everything but it is necessary that we have this talk."

"You may have realized in this last year that the other students don't have masters, correct? Yes, now, when you stayed with your previous master, you were punished for the smallest infraction or even just when your master had seen it fit to do so.

You had only received the bare minimum of food necessary in order to survive and any refreshments were sparsely given.

I have tried over the year to get you as close to healthy as possible. You have come to sleep in your bed without prompt and to ask questions when needed."

Harry listened intently to his master. He had not really realized how much he had changed over the year. Everything had happened so gradually that it had all just –happened-.

"I'm telling you now Potter, Harry, what you have been taught since a young age is NOT in any way shape or form acceptable tutoring. It is nothing that _you_ did wrong. You were in the care of an adult who took advantage of you. He had most probably taught you that what he had done was right, and that anything _you_ did was wrong."

The thought which had plagued Harry the past few hours was once again in the forefront of his mind.

Vernon had been wrong.

Harry bit down hard on his lip to fight any other emotions which wanted to bubble up.

"I don't know if you even know _what_ had been done to you. When someone, your uncle or anyone else, forced you down on a bed or on your knees or any other way, and hurt you, put something in you; that is called sexual situations."

"Most students, when they first come to Hogwarts, have only ever _heard_ of sex. Some have _never_ even heard of it. The older years, when their own bodies begin to develop will experiment and find out what they can about it."

"What I'm trying to tell you Po.., Harry, is that a student as young as you should not have _ever_ been exposed to what you have been. The first time someone has sex of any kind is a sacred union and should be respected at all times.

When someone does this without the permission of the other person, by force or by inhibiting the other person from expressing their desires in any way – like the Imperius curse, which you will learn in your fifth or sixth year – it is called non-consensual or some refer to it as rape."

Harry didn't know when the tears had started to fall but as he listened to his master he felt the warmness drip on his hands.

Two thumbs gently rubbed the tears away and Harry looked up again.

"Do you understand what I'm telling you Harry? Do you understand that what your uncle had done to you was wrong? Wrong in so many ways, but it was NOT under any circumstances your fault."

"Yes master." Harry sniffed as thoughts raged thought his head.

He had known, since he had first had to call Vernon master that his situation had not been ideal but the sheer number of things which had been wrong had escaped his notice.

It was too much to take in and some of master Vernon's words were already fighting with the words of Master Severus.

"To ask you now to live the life of a normal, happy eleven – almost twelve – year old would be both unfair and detrimental to you."

"Can I still stay here, with you?" Harry asked softly, dreading the answer he feared was coming.

"Yes Harry; that is what I'm trying to tell you. You have come a long way since you've first come to Hogwarts and I have to say that I'm very proud of you, but it is still too soon to send you on your own way."

"I will give you a book to read on a specific type of relationship. When you have finished with it we can decide whether or not you wish to enter that type of relationship or not. You will be free to make your own decision and I do not wish to influence your answer in any way. When you've finished reading the book you will either write down 'yes' or 'no' on a piece of paper and present it to me. Should you say 'yes' you are in no way obligated to stick with your decision. If you feel that it is too much, you need only tell me and we will stop. I will draft a contract which stipulates certain rules, for both you and myself, which will be adhered to at all times. Should you say 'no', we will find a way to help you deal with your past but in no way will you loose my support. No matter your decision."

Master Severus had been right, he didn't understand half of what was said but he was certain that after reading the book his master had mentioned he would understand better.

"Okay master. I will read the book."

"Good. Now, you will receive your punishment but I have to ask you something; think carefully before you answer about everything I have said now. Do you trust me Harry? Even if just a small portion, do you trust me?"

Harry wasn't certain anymore what trust meant but he knew that master Severus always tried to be honest with him and as he had found out, that was more than he had ever been given.

"Yes master."

"Lie back on the bed and close your eyes. I am going to blindfold you. That will be your punishment. You will be vulnerable as you will have no way of knowing where I am or where you yourself are. We will stay here in our quarters but you are free to move if you wish to. What I'm trying to teach you here Harry is that you should be able to trust your master. You should be able to trust his word. I am not going to do anything else to you Harry. You will not know where I am but if you trust that I won't do anything to you then you won't fear it. Won't fear the raising of a fist or a whip, because I told you that nothing else will happen."

The voice was soft and soothing to Harry's frayed nerves. The thought of not being able to see anything, to see where his master was or what he was doing was really terrifying but Harry had to trust in his masters words. Nothing would happen to him, he was safe.

Severus left the room after the blindfold was secure and made his way over to the kitchen in order to make some dinner.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later Severus returned to Harry's bedroom and found him exactly where he had left him, curled up in the middle of the bed. Judging from the soft rise and fall of his chest he had fallen asleep.

Severus set the tray he was holding down and sat gently on the bed.

"Harry. Harry! It's time to wake up."

Harry stirred a bit and turned in Severus's direction. Severus could see panic spreading across the boy's features and quickly tried to reassure him.

"It's okay Harry. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember I put a blindfold on you as punishment for not arriving at the time I had specified?"

Harry relaxed some but Severus could still see tension in the boy's arms.

"Close your eyes again Harry, I'm going to remove the blindfold now."

Severus leaned closer and as quickly but gently as possible he removed the blindfold.

Harry blinked a bit in order to adjust to the light and then turned to face Severus.

"Thank you master."

"You're welcome. Now, I've made you some dinner; don't look so horrified, you were blindfolded and asleep besides. You will eat everything on the plate and then you will go to sleep. You can read the book tomorrow and then we can talk some more. Clear?"

"Yes Master, thank you Master."

"Eat up and good night."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The book had been very interesting. It had explained what a submissive is and what a Domimant is. The relationship between a sub and a Dom, and how it all worked.

Harry's mind had quickly snatched on to one part. "Safe word". From what he understood, it is actually the Submissive whom set the limits of the relationship. It also explained that even though "no" doesn't really mean "no" in every aspect of such a relationship that the "safe word" should and would at all times be obeyed to as "Stop!"

He had realized that even though Vernon had ordered him to call him master, it did not in any way shape or form make their relationship a consensual Dom/Sub relationship. Harry didn't know _what_ to call his relationship with his ex-master as nothing in the book was even close to what they had had.

The thought of Master Severus being his Dominant, taking control of his life and looking out for him raised contradicting feelings in him.

He knew, even though it had been 'forced' on him – as he had come to realize – that he still loved doing things for his Master. He didn't know _how_ to take control of his own life and the thought of having to do that sent shivers down his spine. He would be lost, completely.

What Master Severus proposed was basically going on as they had for the past year but now, Harry could set his limitations. He would have a "Safe-word" which would be heard and listened to!!

It was about a week after his first real punishment with Master Severus and Harry had a fair idea of what his answer would be to the question of their relationship.

He needed this; he could admit that to himself.

He needed to know that there was someone who would care for him, look out for his well being and not treat him the way Vernon had treated him.

The experience with the blindfold had terrified him, really and truly terrified him but when Master Severus had woken him and explained what was going on; when Harry had realized that even though he had been in a vulnerable position, nothing had happened. Just as Master Severus had said.

His musings was interrupted by the opening of his door. His door had not once been closed completely since he had received the book and Harry thought that maybe it was to let him know that no matter what, he wasn't trapped there, that he could still leave should he wish to. The knowledge of that filled him with a warm feeling. He could almost imagine that he was cared for.

"Move up." Master Severus had once again retreated into his normal – or at least his _better known_ – persona and as such his voice was now once again cold, but not harsh.

"Have you finished with the book?"

"Yes master."

"Do you have any questions?"

"Every aspect of the relationship would be as in this book?" Harry had to make sure.

"Not every aspect. I will not, under any circumstances touch you in a sexual way. When you have reached the age of consent, and we both wish to continue with this relationship, then we may consider it.

What I will be doing is training you to be a submissive. As you've read, submission is the act of or interest in submitting to someone else's will, _within limits_, for sexual purposes

There are both "hard" limits--things that people absolutely will not do, and will not even consider, as well as "soft" limits--things that someone won't do under ordinary circumstances, but will allow to be "forced" on him or her in the context of a particular scenario that's being acted out.

Those limits will be determined on a non-sexual basis, no exceptions.

Other aspects of the relationship will also be readjusted to suite our situation, especially aspects pertaining to sex."

Harry didn't even try to suppress his relief, he had gotten used to the 'sex' part with Master Vernon but after a year of no such punishments; he couldn't help but be relieved that it would stay that way.

"Yes master, I would like you to train me to be your submissive, to care for me and look after my needs."

"I will draft a contract which you will sign. Until that time, you are free to change your mind at any time. You will be able to set your limits and your "safe word", we will have the contract witnessed and should either of us feel that a change in the contract is needed we will agree to the new terms and adjust the contract accordingly. If either of us feels that we do not wish to continue with the relationship we will agree to either terminate it completely or to put a "forced break" in our relationship. Everything needs to be consensual and so it would be. I will tell you, I have already made known and registered myself as the Dominant in a relationship with the ministry. The only thing they require is the knowledge of the existence of such a relationship and the Dominant partner. I had done that in order to be able to protect you should anyone else find out how you have been treated at home. The agreement, contract, between you and me will only be witnessed by those we agree to and no-one else needs to know about it."

"I understand, thank you master."

"Good, now let's get us some breakfast and then you can read some more while I draft the contract."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry couldn't remember the last time he had been as content as he was at that moment. He was beginning to understand that Vernon had taken advantage of his "child's mind" and molded him in such a way that he hadn't realized exactly how unfair and downright despicable he had been treated.

Now, with Master Severus everything was changing, changing for the better and Harry couldn't help but feel hopeful of his current situation.

He had signed the contract with his Master and had it witnessed by the Headmaster and the school nurse last week.

His master had explained that by explaining their relationship to the school nurse, she would not think anything of it should Severus ever ask medical records of Harry's stay in the hospital.

Harry had been surprised by the nurse's reaction to the contract. She had at first demanded that Severus get his head examined if he thought that she would _ever_ sign the life of such a young child away!

When his master had taken her aside and had some quick words with her she had returned with tears running down her cheek and said that she understood completely and that she hoped Severus would be good for Harry. "Better than that worthless piece of filth you had lived with your whole life!" She had stormed off to her office after that.

The headmaster and his master had talked for a while and though Harry had not tried to listen in on their conversation he had heard some of it all the same.

".. concentrate on Harry at the moment. Deal with _them_ at a later time. … blubbering fool will get what's coming to him … wait until Harry's more settled in the relationship and trusts me more."

He thought that maybe they had been talking about master Vernon but he couldn't be sure. He had heard his master call Vernon a blubbering fool a few times before and many other names which had made him blush.

"… many other little oddities to help him overcome …first few weeks … worse … mostly over it now."

"What had he done in the first few weeks? If there is something we need to help him with you need to tell me Severus."

"Nothing that concerns you headmaster." They had walked over to him now and the headmaster was looking down at Harry with a concerned expression.

"Severus tells me that there were a few things that you did at the beginning of the year which you had to 'overcome' as he called it. I hope it's nothing too bad."

Harry had learned over the year that the headmaster always stated his questions more as statements but that he desired an answer nonetheless.

"Er, I'm not sure what my master meant headmaster. There was the whole bed issue and the eating right thing. Oh, and of course when I had wanted to help my master clean himself and he shouted at me, but that's okay now, I understand that I'm not allowed in the bathroom while he is in there."

Harry didn't really know what he had done or said but his master had turned slightly pink on the cheekbones and the headmaster was fighting his own loosing battle to not let his face turn pink.

"Come Potter, enough said. Good day to you headmaster."

Harry frowned as he followed his master.

What had he said? And were they back to his surname now again? He rather liked it when his master called him Harry, master Vernon had never done so.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus and Harry made their way through Diagon Alley. Harry had relinquished all his money to his master but the contract stated that should they ever terminate the contract, everything left in Harry's vault would go back to him. Severus was also not to transfer the money to his own account but he was the holder of the key to the vault.

They made their way to Gringotts and Severus withdrew a fairly large amount from his own vault but refused to touch Harry's.

"If you see something you like Harry, tell me and we can get it."

"Yes m..sir" Harry caught his slip before it could be incriminating. He had been ordered to refer to his master as "sir" whenever he was talking to anyone else and to call him "sir" if they were not in their chambers at the beginning of his first year but had fallen back into the routine of calling him "Master" during the holidays. It took a conscious effort to remember when he should call his master what.

They went to get his books first and Harry was happy to select some extra books at his master's prompting. Harry had grown quite a bit during the last year, he had a feeling that it was the potions he had been taking which had influenced his growth but was still short for his age. At least he didn't look like an eight year old anymore his master had once said. Harry had never really realized himself how small he was and still, it didn't bother him. It had helped him escape his cousin when he had been in "Harry hunting" mode and he still felt better to know that it would be easier to escape bullies if he was small and could slip through or under them.

"And if isn't the little tattle-tale scar-head."

Harry took a moment to realize that someone was talking to _him_ and turned around to come face to face with Draco Malfoy.

They had not really interacted last year as Harry had mostly kept to himself but he had made sure to know everyone in his class's name.

"Mr Malfoy." Respect for everyone who took the time to talk to _him_ had been taught/beaten into him since a young age and as such it came naturally to him to call someone by their 'title'.

Draco looked surprised for a moment before looking behind him. Not finding what he was looking for, he turned back to Harry and frowned at him.

"You'd better watch your back this year tattle-tale."

Harry wondered why his master had yet to say anything and as he turned around he was horrified to realize that his master was no where to be found.

Harry had been in a back section of the bookstore and had not realized that he had lost site of his master.

The feeling of vulnerability he had felt when his master had placed the blindfold on was back. It had been _years_ since he had been alone somewhere in such a public place. The school had not been too bad as he had always known where to find his master, now though, he was lost.

He felt a presence behind him but before he could panic even more the soft, cold voice of his master registered in his mind.

"Is there a problem here gentlemen? No, then I suggest you carry along, there are other patrons who also wish to browse this section."

Malfoy took the hint and Harry was left to sag in relief that his master was back.

"I'm sorry for not informing you of where I would be but do not panic should it happen again, I will always come back for you."

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

**End Chapter 3**

**Chapter Warning:** This story will NOT follow canon exactly. It will be the same concepts but I will put my own 'encounters' in. Such as 'Who gets petrified when, where and how.'

**Chapter 4: The care of a master**

The hall slowly filled with chattering students. It didn't even seem like they noticed the lone figure already sitting at one of the tables.

Harry however, didn't care in the least that he had gone unnoticed. The last month had been wonderful with just his master and a few other professors at school.

He had received his first ever birthday present from his master and had then been shocked to find a few other presents as well. One from the headmaster – a box of chocolate frogs, two from friends in Hufflepuff – Susan Bones and Justin Flinch-Fletchly (sp?), both of whom had sent him some other treats. His master though had given him a wonderful bag which had compartments and bags which sealed itself; for potions ingredients.

The bag was spill proof, water proof, fire proof and just about anything other-proof you could think of. There are about twenty plastic bags inside which sealed potions ingredients so as not to mix them with other ingredients.

Harry's memories were interrupted as Hermione Granger took her seat beside him. The first of September fell on a Thursday and as such Harry had to sit with the Gryffindors.

The girl made some space for Ronald Weasley who gave Harry a scathing look and then proceeded to ignore him completely for the rest of the Welcoming feast.

Hermione it seemed was torn between the two of them and so Harry solved her problem by turning his attention to Neville Longbottom whom had taken the other empty seat next to Harry.

"Hi." They both said softly and then blushed and turned their attention to the headmaster.

Harry looked up at the head table and scanned his eyes over everyone seated there.

There was a new face among the Professors and Harry guessed that it was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.

His master was seated right at the end of the table and as Harry's eyes landed on him he bit his lip at the disapproving glare he received.

His master had ordered him to interact more with his fellow students but Harry found it hard to do so.

He had always had problems making friends since Dudley had went out of his way to make sure that everyone thought Harry a freak and that his useless cousin would never have friends.

The first years entered the hall after Professor McGonagall and Harry watched attentively as everyone was sorted.

He felt rather out of place as he realized that no one had been placed in apprenticeship this year. He had hoped that the hat had decided to put someone in apprenticeship each year but that didn't seem to happen. Harry felt a bit alone, and left out, knowing that he was the only apprentice in Hogwarts. He just hoped that this year would be better than the last.

Start of term notices were given and Harry was relieved to hear that there was no mention of the third floor corridor this year. That could only mean that there was nothing dangerous there anymore.

Students started to file out of the Great Hall and Harry quickly made his own way through them and down to the dungeons. He whispered the password after making sure that no one was nearby and made his way over to his room.

He had become quite comfortable in his master's quarters and sat down Indian style on his bed with his latest book open on his lap.

He read for a while and felt confidant that he would do well in his Transfigurations class this year. He would do his best so as to please his master. With master Vernon he had never received any praise for his efforts but with Master Severus he had come to appreciate the rare moments his master admitted his pride in Harry.

"Good, you're here. I have your schedule for the next year. It will be mostly the same as last year; classes with every house. You will also, in addition, have extra classes once a week in potions as it is the subject in which you're apprenticing in."

Harry looked up from his book as his master entered and quickly scooted up in the bed. He had become accustomed to the fact that his master sat close to him whenever they were alone in their rooms.

It had at first scared Harry a bit – he was so much closer and it would take no effort from his master to hit him – but Harry had come to love these moments. He no longer feared everything his master did and actually liked it that his master wanted to sit close to him. He did not feel so much of a freak when his master was near him.

Harry reached out and took his schedule from his master's hands. He quickly scanned the contents and realized that his master was right; his schedule was mostly like the previous year with the addition of Tuesday nights Potions tutoring.

"Thank you master. The Potions tutoring are with you?"

"Yes it is. Now, I want you in bed early tonight as tomorrow is the first day of classes and as such are usually more tiring after lazing about during the holidays."

"Yes master, thank you master."

His master left the room after tucking the blankets around Harry and Harry smiled at the gesture before closing his eyes in sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mr Potter! You will stay behind and clean up the mess you made. Everyone else, out this second!"

Harry bit his lip. He knew why his master was angry. He also knew that he would have to be truthful or face the consequences.

The door clicked close behind him and his master waved his wand before erecting a silencing charm.

"Where have your mind been Mr Potter?!? If you'd added the bicorn roots before the stem of the mushing mushrooms you could have created an explosion! Be very grateful that I had stopped you before such a fatal mistake. Now, could you please explain to me why you had such difficulty with this potion when just last month you had created it flawlessly, blindfolded!!"

Harry sucked in great gasps of breath in order to calm his racing heart.

He had really made a very big and grievous mistake and would not have been surprised if his master had decided that he was a lost cause.

"I'm sorry master." Harry whispered. He knew that just and apology would not be enough and so decided to elaborate.

"I've been hearing voices master. Voices that say vicious things about death and blood and killing. I heard it again while in class master. It was going to kill, and soon."

Harry didn't know how his master would respond to such a statement. He knew that most people would think him crazy, would think that he was just seeking for more attention. He just hoped that his master believed him.

Strong hands rested on his shoulder and Harry lifted his head to gauge his master's response.

"I'm not going to do anything to you Harry. While I might be angry about the potion, the fact that you're hearing voices are my main concern. Where did you hear it first? What did it say?"

"Thank you master. I heard it first a week ago, at the girls bathroom on the second floor. It had basically just been repeating 'blood', 'blood', 'fresh blood' over and over again. Today though, it had said something about killing."

His master was just about to say something when the magnified voice of Professor McGonagall announced that all students should return to their common rooms at once and that the Professors should go to the second floor.

"Go back to our quarters and stay there until I get back. No. Matter. What."

Harry complied without question.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is little Potty-head all alone out here?"

Harry spun around as he heard the drawling voice.

"Mr Malfoy."

Draco gave Harry a scathing look.

"What's with all this 'Mr' stuff Potter? Are you perhaps admitting to the fact that I'm far better than you are or are you mocking me?"

Harry looked questioningly at the boy before answering. "I'm just giving respect where it is deserved Mr Malfoy."

Draco looked as if he dearly wanted to say something else but just then Professor McGonagall passed them and they went their separate ways.

Harry had to wonder about the boy's behavior. What was so hard to take in about the fact that Harry respected his betters? Did not everyone do so?

He made a mental note to discuss Draco's strange behavior with his master.

As Harry turned the corner he heard loud wailing and could see that the entire floor had been covered with water.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His master had not told him what the reason was for Professor McGonagall's summons the previous week but he dearly hoped that it had nothing to do with the site he found before him now.

Harry had been on his way back to his master's quarters from the library when he had come across the still form of 'Sir Nicholas'. It was no strange thing for a student to come across one of the castle's ghosts but for said ghost to be still as a statue and almost solid looking, that was not normal.

Harry stared at the ghost for another moment before hurrying down to the dungeons.

As Harry had had a free period for this last period he knew his master would still be in class. His mind raced with thoughts as to what to do.

His master had ordered him to find him whenever he needed him and Harry considered this time as such a need but he had never interrupted his master's class before.

Biting his lip and hoping beyond hope that his master would not be too angry with him, he reached out his hand and knocked on the door.

"Enter." His master did not sound pleased but as Harry had come to realize that he was never pleased when giving class he did not take that as any indication to his master's mood.

"Professor Snape sir. Could I please have a quick word with you sir?"

The students in the class looked to be fourth or fifth year students and they looked at Harry as if he'd lost his mind. NO-ONE interrupted Snape's classes!

"I hope for your sake that this is urgent Potter for if I find that you're wasting my time you will find yourself in detention for a week!"

"Yes sir, I understand sir."

His master gave him a once over before turning back to the class.

"You will continue with the potion I have assigned. I will be just outside and if I hear as much as a whisper you will have a ten foot essay to deliver tomorrow morning before breakfast."

With that said his master turned back to Harry and quickly ushered him out of the classroom.

"What is it Harry. You do not look hurt so why have you interrupted my class?"

"I'm sorry master but I did not know what else to do." Harry bowed his head. He had done the wrong thing. Why did he always do the wrong thing?

"Harry, look at me. I'm not angry or disappointed in you. I only wish to know why you had interrupted my class."

His master's voice had a hint of impatience in it and so Harry hastened to explain.

"I was on my way back to your quarters master when I saw 'Sir Nicholas'. He's frozen in place master! I could almost touch him so real he looked."

Master Severus had gone a bit pale but he quickly regained his composure.

"Where did you see him Harry. Take me to him immediately."

They quickly made their way through the corridors and up the stairs until they came upon 'Sir Nicholas'.

Harry looked questioningly at his master as he cursed under his breath but Master Severus shook his head.

"No time to explain Harry. Thank you for informing me. I will levitate him to the Hospital Wing and see what can be done for him. Return to our quarters and wait until I get there. Understood?"

"Yes master."

Harry hurried down the corridor in the opposite direction they had come from and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the message on the wall.

"Professor Snape!" He called out loudly and hoped that his master heard him.

Soft footfalls alerted him to the fact that he had been heard and he looked behind him to find his master's gaze fixed on the wall in front of them.

"**The first was a beloved pet; this was a dead man who would suffer no permanent effects. Next time you will not be so lucky and will loose a life."**

The message was written in blood and Harry turned his head away when he had finished reading it for the second time.

He felt his master right behind him and could no longer refuse himself the comfort he had sought after for years.

He turned around completely and laid his head on his master's chest. The idea of a life being taken, the life of a school child, made Harry sick to the stomach.

He did not stay in his master's robes for long though and had barely let his head rest on the strong chest before he pulled away again.

"Last week, when Professor McGonagall ordered everyone to the common rooms. Something like this happened then as well?" Harry's voice was soft but his master heard him nonetheless.

"Yes Harry. Last week Mrs Norris had been petrified. She is not dead though and Professor Sprout is working on raising some Mandrakes to use in the potion to cure her."

"I do not want you worrying overly much about this. We will talk more this evening but now, I want you to return to our quarters and read one of the books on the third or fourth row of books until I get back. Get your mind off of this and on something interesting but less painful."

"Yes master." Harry's voice was still soft and his footfalls even softer as he made his way back to his master's quarters.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry stared at the front page of the 'Daily Prophet' in shock. He had known everything in the article of course, his master had explained it to him but to see it on the front page of a newspaper was something else entirely.

The picture which had been taken was black and white but even so, you could almost _feel_ that the message had been written in blood.

"**Enemies of the heir beware. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened."**

In front of the words dangled a small shape which Harry knew was Mrs Norris.

How the Prophet had even found out abut the incident was still a mystery but that didn't worry Harry so much as the whispers now flowing through the hall.

He could practically see the wheels turning in Hermione Granger's head and knew that she would want to get to the bottom of this.

Harry turned his head to the head table and made eye contact with his master.

The man's face looked drawn but he just shook his head at the silent question Harry sent.

The hall quickly emptied of students and Harry felt himself being dragged along with the flow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The voice which had been plaguing Harry for months had been quite for a while now but instead of making him feel better it made Harry nervous and apprehensive.

He had seen Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley entering the girls' bathroom on the second floor a few times and had even taken out his father's invisibility cloak to follow them once. He had found Miss Granger bent over a cauldron with Mr Weasley reading a Quidditch magazine behind her.

He had recognized the potion as the Polyjuice Potion which they would only be learning in fifth year and had wondered what the two second year children was doing with such a potion.

Harry had debated on telling his master about it but had decided that he did not want the whispers of 'tattle-tale' to return and as such he left them to their doings.

Now Harry was beginning to regret that decision. Hermione Granger had been petrified the previous week and Ron Weasley was in such a state of shock that he had been ordered to the Hospital Wing until further notice.

Standing in the middle of the girls' bathroom with a ghost hovering behind him had not been Harry's idea of an ideal way to spend his time.

"You are certain that you saw someone disappearing behind these basins?" Harry asked for the fifth time in half an hour.

It did not make any sense. How could someone just disappear into thin air? It was not possible to apparate within Hogwarts as Harry had read in 'Hogwarts: A History' and so the only other explanation was that the mirrors and basins had to have disappeared into a secret passageway.

"Yes Harry!! I've told a million times, the person had just disappeared, 'pooff'!" Moaning Mertle wailed at Harry and then accused him of calling her a liar before she rushed head first into a toilet.

Harry turned back to the basin he was facing and wondered if some kind of password would open it up. He remembered reading a story when he was younger about a man opening a cave or something.

"Open Sesame" Harry said as he faced the basin.

Creaking and cracking sounds sprung forth before he had even started on the second word.

Harry watched in fascination as a hole formed in front of him and despite any inhibitions he had, he sprang down the hole.

If a student had been taken down there and was in danger, and no one knew, then Harry had to make sure the person was safe.

He had to open some other passageways again and every time he used the same 'passwords'.

Coming face to face with a young boy around fifth year had not been what he had expected.

Especially not finding said boy hovering over a young girl who had to be a first year.

Harry tried to get the boy to help him with the girl but instead the boy started speaking about being such a great wizard and how no baby should have been able to defeat him.

Everything happened so fast after that that Harry only realized exactly what was happening when something sharp pierced his arm.

Harry stared down at the protruding fang and then looked at the big snake lying dead in front of him.

The boy was moving once again and Harry could see that he was attempting to pick up the book which had fallen just beside the young girl.

The boy's hands went right through the book however and Harry realized with a start that the boy was not real, not yet.

The book seemed important to him and on impulse Harry picked it up and ripped a few pages out. The boy faltered a bit but then laughed at Harry and said that the book 're-grew' it's own pages and could not be destroyed that easily.

It was rather foolish of the boy to give so much away but Harry didn't ponder on that. He quickly lifted up the fang in his hand and as his own injury pushed him to his knees he let the book fall to the floor before plunging the fang right through the cover and into the book.

As Harry watched the boy disappear before his eyes he felt his own strength give out and just repeated two words over and over in his head.

"Help me, help me, help me."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you not hear me when I expressly forbid you from going off on some foolish adventure again last year? Did you think that you could deal with a monster that had petrified two people and a cat on your own? Do you really have so little trust in me that you did not see fit to come to me for help?"

Harry had long since given in to the impulse of letting his tears flow and as his master continued ranting he just let it flow faster and harder.

His master was right. He had not thought. He had jumped head first into a situation he knew nothing about and had continued even when he had realized that he could be in danger.

"I'm sorry master. I did not think. I remember your orders from last year but at the time I had not thought of it."

"I will tell you again then. You will NOT go on any life threatening adventures again. You will inform me of ANY oddity you find even if I'm fast asleep with a panther guarding me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes master." Harry whispered and bowed his head.

"How you even managed to defeat a grown basilisk is beyond me. You were very lucky that the explosion curse you used had worked on his head. If his mouth had not been open at the time you would certainly have failed as basilisk scales are mostly immune to magic.

Fawkes got to you just in time to save you. Miss Weasley had been hysteric after waking and finding you lying beside her, half dead."

"I myself only found out about the incident after you had been taken to the hospital wing."

"Do you have any idea what went through my head when the headmaster informed me that you were quite critically in the hospital wing?"

Harry lowered his head again and shook it. No he had no idea. No one had ever really cared about him, cared if he was hurt or even alive.

His master took a few deep breaths before continuing.

"I have found myself become rather attached to you Mr Potter. You have proven yourself to be a rather likable person and I have begun to care for you. I care about you Harry. Not about The-boy-who-lived, not about Harry James Potter son of James Potter but about _you_. Harry, just Harry."

Harry had lived with his master for two years now and he knew how difficult it was for the man to express himself. That he had done so, that he had said what he had just said, to Harry, meant more to him than the words itself.

"You will write down everything you have learned from this _adventure_ of yours and what you could have done differently. I want at least two pages by tomorrow. Tomorrow evening you will return here directly after the leaving feast and you will wait for me in your room.

You will not be absolved from your punishment like last year. Last year you had not known my wishes and had not been expressly forbidden from going on such an adventure. This year, you had disobeyed my direct order and you will be punished. Is that clear?"

"Yes master. Thank you master." Harry said and then made his way to his room after being dismissed and started working on his 'first punishment'. The papers due tomorrow.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus sat down hard on his favorite couch.

Harry had just left for the Leaving Feast after giving Severus his papers on what he had learned from his _adventure_. The boy had actually written four pages full and Severus found himself proud of everything Harry had written.

The boy seemed to have realized that what he had done was wrong and that he could have done so many things differently.

The words began to swim before Severus's eyes as he thought back to when Dumbledore had just informed him of Harry's condition. Severus had felt his heart lift into his throat and had choked out some or other response to Albus.

He had been beyond relief to find Harry sleeping in the hospital wing when he first entered. That relief had turned to horror when he had heard what had happened.

The intensity of his own feelings had scared him and Severus had returned to his own chambers without further a word.

He had known from the beginning of their relationship that this would happen but it didn't prepare him for the intensity of his emotions. He cared about Potter. He really truly cared about the boy and what happened to him.

Severus rose from his seat as his clock scolded him about being late for the feast and made his way to the Great Hall.

The hour it took to get through dinner and End of Term notices felt like an eternity to Severus.

Ravenclaw was once again awarded the house cup even though Slytherin had won the Quidditch cup.

Students slowly made their way back to their dorms and some even said their goodbyes to those not in their own house as they would not have the opportunity to do so the next day.

Severus made his way back to his dungeon and as he entered his quarters he found Harry standing with his head bowed behind Severus's favorite chair.

The boy had looked dejected the whole day and it was tugging at Severus's heart strings.

Walking slowly and quietly over to his charge Severus wrapped his arms around the boy from behind. Harry tensed in his arms before relaxing minutely.

"I'm sorry for being a bit harsh yesterday Harry but I didn't know how else to get the fact that I care for you across to you. I care a great deal for you and would not like to hear that anything had happened to you."

Harry slowly turned and buried his head in Severus's chest as his frame began to wrack with sobs.

Severus just held the boy tightly. He knew that it would take Harry a while to come to terms with the fact that someone cared for him. That someone worried about what happened to him.

Severus wondered in the back of his mind how Harry would react to someone's love.

The thought that he might be the first to ever express that emotion to Harry both scared him and filled him with hope.

He could come to love Harry, he was already half way there if he was honest with himself.

**End Chapter 4**

Thank you all for reading and review please!!!

Just a note: I'm a South African woman and English is NOT my first language so please bare with me and my spelling and grammar mistakes...


	4. Care and choices

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

_Severus wondered in the back of his mind how Harry would react to someone's love._

_The thought that he might be the first to ever express that emotion to Harry both scared him and filled him with hope._

_He could come to love Harry, he was already half way there if he was honest with himself_

**Chapter 5: When care becomes too much**

Severus released Harry a few moments later and held him at arms reach.

"Wash your face and return to your room. I will be there momentarily."

Harry looked up at his master and gave him a small smile. He had dreaded the thought of his master thinking him weak and being disappointed in him for it.

"Yes Master. Th…. thank you Master." Harry didn't know exactly what he was thanking his master for. There were too many things to pinpoint one specific.

His master seemed to understand and he gave Harry a sharp nod before turning towards his bedroom.

Harry made his way over to the bathroom to take care of all the necessities. The fact that the holidays were starting the next day had only just begun to sink in and Harry was left feeling numb. The school year had passed so quickly that it felt as if Harry had blinked and found himself at the end of the year.

Not that he really minded. He loved the time he had with just his Master and a few other professors for company. Master Vernon had always just paid attention to him when he had wanted something from Harry but with Master Severus, Harry felt wanted in a whole different way.

Master Vernon had wanted, had taken, Harry's body and what it could provide. Master Severus though, was not after Harry's body. He felt somewhat betrayed by that fact, felt that Master Severus didn't find him likable, didn't want him because he was too _something_. But all that was made up by the fact that Master Severus had made it quite clear that he _did_ want Harry. That he even _cared_ about Harry. Not just that but it seemed Master Severus cared about Harry, the boy who had deep down always only ever wanted to be cared for and even loved. Not Harry Potter, son of James, not The-Boy-Who-Lived but Harry, just Harry.

As Harry entered his room he remembered Master Severus's promise the previous evening of a punishment. It exited him somewhat. He had always _hated_ being punished by master Vernon as it had always involved pain of some kind but now, now he knew that he would not be punished to inflict pain but to teach him a lesson.

Harry settled down on the bed and waited patiently for Master Severus. The thought of being blindfolded again filled him with various emotions. He knew that he trusted Master Severus not to hurt him – how could he not after living with him for a year? He didn't trust himself however. He knew that his latest transgression deserved a harsher punishment than the previous one and the thought of being blindfolded for an entire day had flitted through his mind. What if he hurt himself when going to the bathroom? What if he walked into something and broke a vase or something else? Master Severus would surely blame him for it as he was the one to walk into it.

His thoughts were interrupted by the looming shadow of his master.

Harry stared a bit at everything in his master's hand but before he could voice his question Master Severus had put a finger to his lips.

"You will not speak until I give you permission to do so. You will put your hands behind your back, good, now I am going to tie it there. Is this too tight? No? Good. Close your eyes. I'm going to put the blindfold on once again so keep your eyes closed."

"Your 'punishment' – lesson - today is once again about trust as I feel that you don't have enough trust in me yet, confirmed by your latest little escapade."

"I have a plate of food here. Not a lot as I know that you will be quite full after the feast. I am going to feed you Harry and you will have to trust me when I tell you what you are eating and what to expect. I have nothing here that you don't like but you will just have to trust me on that front. I have not put anything in the food that would hurt you, poison you or change you into any strange colors or creatures. You will have to trust my word on that."

Harry had to bite his lip at the automatic response of "yes Master" and caught himself just before he could make the mistake of speaking without being given permission to do so.

"Open your mouth Harry. Good, I'm first going to feed you the vegetables, green beans, and then some ham. After that will be the 'pudding', some ice cream."

Harry's mouth automatically closed around the fork holding the food in his mouth and he was both surprised and relieved to find that it was exactly as Master Severus had said.

The feeding process was slow as they were both not used to their separate positions but they managed it fine.

Harry felt very self-conscious where he sat and thought that it was really not right that his master was feeding _him_, in his experience it should be the other way around!

Harry cursed himself silently for the position he had seated himself in when he had first entered the room. His back was killing him without support behind him and with the lack of balance he could not really straighten himself up. His eyes began to sting with both the effort of staying seated as he was and with keeping his mouth shut and not pleading with his master to readjust himself in a more comfortable position.

He had not even realized that the constant 'food supply' had stopped as he felt fingers gently tracing down his cheek.

"Sit back Harry. Make yourself more comfortable."

Harry was startled both at feeling tears running down his cheek and at the fact that his master seemed to know what was bothering him. That was a whole new experience for him.

Harry nodded his thanks as he had not yet been given permission to speak and readjusted his position.

A few minutes later the food was finished and Master Severus told him to close his eyes once again before removing the blindfold. Seeing as he had kept his eyes closed during the whole procedure this time, Harry just nodded his head.

"I will leave your hands tied for now and if you want or need something come and ask me. Do not be afraid to ask anything from me Harry. Ever. You may speak freely again."

"Yes Master, thank you Master."

It had not really seemed so bad, having his hands tied behind his back for a while but as the hours passed Harry became aware of the pressure in his bladder he realized his difficult situation.

He was mortified to ask his master to help him but knew that he had no other choice other than to embarrass himself even worse in a very un-dignified way.

"Master?" Harry called softly as he entered the lounge.

"Yes Harry? Is there something you need?"

Master Severus put a marker in the book he was reading and approached Harry where he stood.

"I'm er… I need to go to the er…"

His master seemed to understand and he took Harry's arm lightly and guided him to the bathroom.

"I will untie your hands now Harry. Thank you for coming to me and asking for help rather than keeping it in. You are free to ask me for help any time you need it. Be it night or day."

Master Severus spoke softly and Harry's chest filled with something he could only guess was pride. Pride that his master was proud of _him_.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus was becoming highly frustrated with the world. The school holidays had started two weeks ago but with it had come complications unforeseen.

The escape of the convict Sirius Black was raging serious havoc with Severus's emotions. He both wanted to go out and kill the bastard himself but also he didn't want to leave Harry.

He had not let the boy out of his sight since the escape except when the boy was in the bathroom or asleep. Even then, Severus had taken to checking up on the boy every hour or so.

The wards around his quarters had never before seen so many checks and adjustments. Severus had remembered that the marauders had all been animagi – except for Lupin of course – and as such he had taken to putting up wards against animagi as well.

Severus refused to dig deeper into his own emotions and why he had wanted to protect the boy so badly.

Harry it seemed had at the beginning been surprised and wary of all the attention Severus bestowed on him. Later he had begun to enjoy all the time spent with Severus but even that euphoria had died down and now the boy was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Severus had run out of reasons why they couldn't leave their quarters and as such he had promised Harry that they could go up to the great hall for breakfast that morning.

His excuses had at first been impressive. "They are working on the wards of the castle and as such we were asked to stay in our quarters so as not to disturb them."

"Albus had asked to visit us for tea and dessert but he could not say exactly what time he would be here, it would be best if we waited for him."

But he had run out of believable excuses after a week.

Albus had visited them a few times and seemed to understand Severus's reasoning. Those twice-damned twinkling eyes had worked overtime when Albus had come to the same realization Severus had a few weeks back. He really did care about Bloody-Harry-Potter.

Oh, he would never live this down!

Harry entered the room at that moment and Severus beckoned him out the door. They walked in silence for a few moments before Harry hesitantly looked up at Severus.

"Thank you Master. For taking me out, letting me go up to the Great Hall."

"It's no difficulty for me Harry but we will return to our quarters as soon as we have finished with breakfast, is that clear?"

Severus was shocked into silence when he heard the boy's reply.

"No! I'm sick of staying in those rooms all day. There's nothing to do there except read or sleep. Why am I not allowed to go out? Why are you keeping such a tight leash on me this time? Last year you had practically _ordered_ me out of your rooms! What's different this time?"

When it seemed that Harry had gotten everything off his chest he had wanted to, Severus took a deep breath. That the boy _dared_ speak to him in such a way! Okay, so Severus had been a bit overbearing and he might have gone over the top with keeping an eye on the boy, _a bit_. That still didn't give Harry the right to talk to him in such a way!

Harry's face morphed into a stricken expression as he realized what he had just done but Severus didn't care in the least.

Just as he was about to lay into the boy he realized that they were right outside the Great Hall and commotion of any kind would not go unnoticed.

"I will deal with you later Mr Potter. For now, let us eat."

"Yes Master" came the whispered response behind him as Harry followed his master into the room.

Breakfast was a quiet affair as everyone present seemed to sense the tension in the room. The post owls decided then to enter and as Severus caught sight of the front page he cursed whoever the moron was that had decided to put it on the front page.

There was no way that Harry had not seen what was on the front page as Professor Flitwick was seated right beside him and was reading attentively while displaying the whole page for all and sundry.

Harry turned questioning eyes on him and Severus just snarled at the paper.

As they made their way back to their quarters Severus thought of how he would explain everything to the boy.

It seemed that he did not have to figure out a way to broach the subject for as soon as they entered Harry turned to face him.

"Sirius Black. The escaped convict; does he have anything to do with my staying in your quarters all this time? Why I'm not allowed to go out?"

"Yes Harry. Sirius Black is a very dangerous man. I doubt you know it but he is also your godfather. He was the person holding your parents' location a secret via a spell called 'The Fiddelius Charm'. Well, he was supposed to keep it secret but he had gone to The Dark Lord with the location as soon as the charm was cast. The Dark Lord had wasted no time and on Halloween 1981 he had attacked your house. Your parents had died as you know and you had survived. Black had then killed 13 muggles and one of his other best friends. 'Peter Pettigrew.' That is the short version of it."

Harry had sat down in the middle of the explanation and now sat with slumped shoulders and head buried in his hands.

"My own godfather had betrayed my parents? Why? What had they done to him that was so terrible that he would do that?"

Severus did not know how to respond and so he stayed quiet. He debated on punishing the boy for his earlier outburst but decided that learning this new information was punishment enough.

"Now you understand why I had not wanted to let you out of my sight. I knew Sirius Black in school and I know that he can be a right vicious bastard when he wants to. You have to promise me that you will not go outside these rooms without me and when you want to do anything, ask either myself or one of the other professors to escort you. No matter where you want to go. Is that clear?"

"Yes Master."

"Stop sulking and dress comfortably. Grab a coat and follow me."

Harry quickly did as told and followed his master out of the dungeons and then out of the castle.

It was the first time in weeks that Harry was outside and he took a deep breath of the fresh air.

Harry was quite shocked when he realized that Master Severus was leading him to the Quidditch changing rooms.

While Harry had not been bad on a broom when they had received flying lessons in first year he had never really taken the time to just 'enjoy the ride'.

Master Severus took out two brooms and after giving Harry one he mounted his own and lifted in the air.

Harry followed suit and soon they were flying circles around each other.

Harry quickly realized just how much he liked the feel of the wind whipping around him and through his hair.

He loved the feeling of freedom he felt when so high up in the air and any troubles he had about deranged godfathers quickly left his mind.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The days following were less strenuous on the two as there were no more secrets separating them. Severus also found it a relief that he did not have to think up any more ridiculous reasons why Harry could not leave the room.

The dungeons being flooded after Albus had accidentally moved the lake within the school had raised an incredulous eyebrow from Harry and Severus had known that the time would come soon to come clean with the brat.

Severus had found himself wondering if perhaps all his time spent with Harry was having a detrimental effect on the boy as he had begun to speak, walk and scowl the same way Severus did.

It was quite a blow to his ego when he had realized that Harry had perfected his trademark 'billowing' of the robe without the help of a spell at first.

Severus had taken a month to get the effect perfect without the aid of a spell. Harry had chalked it up to having a 'good teacher'. Not that Severus had taught it to him, Harry had just one day stalked by Severus with billowing robes and had smiled at the shock on his master's face.

Harry had understood Severus's reasons for keeping him on 'house arrest' and since finding out the main reason for Severus's behavior he had taken to personally ask the Professors to escort him wherever he wished to go.

Severus felt very proud of how far Harry had come along since first entering the school. While there were still a few hiccups, Harry seemed to understand that the Professors were there to help him and he asked whenever he didn't understand something.

He had also opened up more to Severus and had not once in over a month's time been found sitting on the floor rather than on the furniture in their rooms.

McGonagall, Flitwick, Sinistra and even Sprout had taken to tutoring Harry whenever the boy was bored. He had asked Professor Sprout if there was anything he could help her with in the Green houses one day and since then he had been diligently helping any Professor wishing his aid.

Everything seemed to be going well. Harry was happy, the Professors were happy and Severus was only scowling when in the presence of other Professors or 'meddling old coots'.

As the days drew closer and closer to Harry's birthday Severus felt his protectiveness rise up again.

He did not know why, but he was dreading Harry's birthday.

Okay, so he knew why he dreaded it, he just didn't want to admit it out loud, even to himself.

What if that mangy mutt decided to send Harry something for his birthday and Severus wasn't there to intercept it. What if he sent Harry an exploding ball and landed Harry in the hospital wing?

These fears of him were somewhat irrational, he knew, but it still didn't keep them away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus woke Harry later than normal on his birthday. He presented his present along with all the Professor's presents and the few which had come via owl from friends.

All of them had, naturally, gone through a thorough screening process by Severus himself and he felt fairly confident that nothing sinister would pop out of them.

Harry's exclamations of surprise and thanks tugged at Severus's heart. The boy had done the exact same the previous year. Seeing as it was only the second time in his life that he had received birthday presents Severus really couldn't fault him on it.

Harry thanked Severus profusely for the new potions kit he had gotten the boy. Being a third year, they would be dealing with an increase in the mass of potions and as such Harry would need a bigger cauldron.

What better way to give it to him than as a birthday present?

The day passed with congratulations from Professors and thanks for all the presents from Harry.

Severus had all but forgotten his feeling of apprehensiveness the previous evening and as such he felt his throat constrict when Harry returned to their quarters that evening to tell him how the rest of his afternoon had gone.

"I had helped Professor Sprout with planting the dandelion roots when I had seen this big black dog staring at me from one of the other green houses." Harry explained excitedly. He had really enjoyed his day out and everything just bubbled out of his mouth.

"I thought that maybe it was hungry and so I dug out the bun I had taken from the table this afternoon. The dog had barked quite a bit when I had approached it but as Professor Sprout followed me it had quieted down.

It was so hungry!! He ate the bun in one gulp and sniffed my robes for any other food. I had nothing else but I promised him I'd take some more to him tonight. Will you come with me? Please?!!"

Severus had paled as Harry spoken and in the end had to sit down.

There was no doubt in his mind that the dog was that mangy mutt Black but could he tell Harry that?

Could he ruin the boy's birthday with the knowledge that he had come face to face with his murdering godfather?

No. He would keep that secret for now and just think of a reason why Harry couldn't go out tonight. Or ever again if it was up to Severus!

"No."

Harry was just about to open his mouth in another excited ramble when the word registered in his mind.

"No?"

"No. You will not go outside again this evening."

"But, but I had promised him I would take him some more food!"

Severus growled down at the boy and Harry quickly lowered his head.

"Sorry master. I will do as you say master."

Harry turned around dejectedly and went to his room where he opened up a book to read.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry felt as if he was suffocating. Not literally, but emotionally.

Master Severus had gone back to being overprotective and would not let Harry out of his sight. No matter what.

Even when Harry went to help some of the other professors with various tasks, Master Severus was always behind him. Lurking like some night creature over its prey.

He had tried to reason with the man. Had told him that he would come to him at the first sign of trouble to which his master had replied with a growl. Harry had tried everything he could think of but that man would not budge.

The only thing keeping Harry from going crazy was the knowledge that school was about to start and as such his master would not be able to stay with him at every moment of the day. Right?

Visions of being tied to a chair in the Potions classroom while his master taught and everyone else gawked at Harry flashed through his mind and he could only hope that that would never happen.

The week before the start of term brought a slight reprieve for Harry.

They were going to Diagon Alley.

Harry took advantage of the time he had outside of the dungeons and entered each and every shop in the alley.

As Master Severus had promised him this day for himself, to do with as he liked, his master had no choice but to follow Harry wherever he went.

The bookshop was first and Harry took his time to peruse the titles. Although he had become somewhat accustomed to the fact that Master Severus now paid for everything he needed he still did not want to 'purge' on the man. He chose his necessary school books and after a little prompt from his master he took two other books which interested him.

At the robe shop he was measured and fit for an entire new wardrobe. No matter how many times he protested, Master Severus insisted on replacing everything he owned as Harry had grown quite a bit since two years ago – courtesy of all the potions his master had fed him of course.

Harry left everything up to his master at the potions shop. Who was he to decide what he would need compared to his master?

His stationary was quick to restock and as they finished their shopping Master Severus led him over to the ice cream shop.

"I think you deserve a bit of a break. Both from shopping and from everything else. I admit that I've been a bit – overbearing – these last few weeks but believe me that I've had good reason."

"It's okay m..sir. I understand. I thank you for caring so much." Harry said with a blush and quickly turned his head away.

"I think this conversation is better left for when we are alone. When we've finished here we will return to the castle. Is there anything else you wish to get?"

Harry had been burning to get himself an owl but as his master now controlled his 'finances' he did not feel comfortable to ask for yet another thing after all he had received with his birthday.

"No sir."

His master looked at him skeptically before nodding and finishing his own ice cream.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus waited patiently for Harry to finish his shower. He knew that there was something the boy had not said while they were in the alley and he was determined to find out what it was.

"Come here for a moment Harry."

"Master?" Harry seated himself next to Severus and turned expectantly to him.

"I had gotten the impression that there was something else you had wanted while we were in the alley but you had not asked me for anything. Remember Harry that I am here to take care of you, to provide for you, to discipline you and to help you in any way possible. If there is anything you want, no matter how big or small, if it is within my capabilities, I will get it for you. If I think that you do not deserve it I will tell you and give you my reasons but never, never, fear to ask me anything."

Harry bowed his head but Severus heard the whispered words nonetheless. "I had already received too much with my birthday, I could not ask for even more."

"That is for me to decide Harry. If I wish to get you something, whether it is something that you really wanted, or just something I wished to give, I will do so. What is it you wanted?"

"I understand master. I was wondering if I could perhaps get my own owl."

Severus had to strain to hear the whispered words but when he did he cursed himself for not realizing sooner that the boy would want his own owl so as to keep in contact with friends.

He had gotten to know Harry better over these years and thought that he could anticipate his needs fairly well but moments like these made him think that he was failing in being a good master.

The dominant of a relationship was supposed to know his submissive. Was supposed to know when they needed something, what they needed and what they didn't. He had anticipated some of Harry's needs before, like when the boy had been blindfolded but uncomfortable Severus had known what was bothering the boy. But for Severus; sometimes was not enough. He wanted to be the best Dom he could be for his little Sub and anticipating his needs was crucial.

There was no use in dwelling on it though and Severus made a promise to himself to observe Harry even closer and to know what he needed when he needed it.

"Of course you can Harry. We will return to Diagon Alley tomorrow and you can pick one out yourself."

The blinding smile he received from Harry lifted his confidence a bit and he thought that maybe he was not so bad at providing for Harry after all.

"Thank you master. Thank you!!"

Severus's pride in his charge went up another notch as the boy leaned over to give him a hug. Harry rarely, if ever, initiated contact and that he had done so now showed Severus just how much progress they had made.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus cursed himself for the thousandth time that day. What on earth had he been thinking when giving the boy the choice of finding his own pet?

What was more though; what had he been thinking when he had agreed to this particular pet?

That the boy had not taken an owl had not really surprised Severus as Harry had proved to quite like things 'out of the norm'.

What the boy had decided on though was Severus's new nightmare.

He must have been drunk. That was the only logical explanation he could find.

"_If you're happy and you know it click you beak!! click, click If you're happy and you know it click your beak!! click, click If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it click your beak!! click, click"_

The blasted parrot had not stopped its incessant singing since Harry had first started that song an hour ago. Harry had of course started in the normal way with 'clap your hands' but as the bird had no hands to clap it had improvised and as such he was treated to the new version over and over again.

Magical parrots, unlike their muggle counterparts, only had to hear a song once to remember it and repeat it perfectly. Or in this case, change it a bit to fit its own needs and then continue to drive a person crazy.

He could not really fault Harry for this as the boy had not known how quickly magical parrots learned and really, he had agreed to buy the blasted bird!

Severus heard Harry softly instructing the bird to stay quiet now and that they could continue tomorrow. When the bird actually complied and made no other sound Severus scowled it the general direction of Harry's bedroom.

Of course the bird would only listen to Harry! When Severus had tried to get it to shut up while Harry had been in the shower the bird had had the audacity to turn its back on him and lift its tail feathers in an unmistakable gesture. How the bird even knew what it meant was a mystery to Severus but he just thanked whatever deities for the silence now that Harry had gotten it to shut its beak.

"Thank you for everything master. I had a really great day."

Harry's soft voice interrupted Severus's thoughts and he turned around to look Harry in the eye.

"You are very welcome Harry. I also had a pleasant time today."

Harry beamed at him before saying a soft "Good night master."

"Good night Harry." Severus returned as Harry made his way over to his bedroom.

Hopefully this year would proof to be better than the previous years but seeing as Harry had a murderer on his tail, Severus doubted it.

**End Chapter 5**

**Chapter 6: To make your own choices**

"_The main properties of begronion roots are the explosive seeds which are part of the base root and have to be crushed systematically in order to prevent an actual explosion."_

Severus smirked cruelly as Harry rummaged around for a new pair of ear muffs. The parrot it seemed, had decided that it only listened to Harry after a certain hour and as soon as the sun rose it started chattering away.

The fact that Severus had just yesterday read a potions journal out loud to the blasted bird to keep _it_ silent for a while was now resulting in Harry scowling fiercely at him while trying to find something to cover his ears with.

"Why the hell did you have to go and read a _potions journal_ to him?" Harry snapped as he threw his bag down in defeat.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the outburst but he was also secretly glad that Harry was beginning to respond more like a normal teenager than the somewhat mature but very insecure boy he had been.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled as he realized what he had just done.

"No matter Mr Potter. I'm only just now thinking of how utterly foolish the both of us have been."

"How so?"

"We're wizards aren't we? A silencing charm might be third year material but as you've read up to fourth year already and I myself have been a fully qualified wizard most of my life, I feel that we have regressed into muggles." The disgust in Severus's voice was plainly clear.

"Oh!!"

"Yes oh, so just put the damn thing under a silencing charm so that we can have some peace."

"Yes master." Harry replied happily and bounced out of the room while drawing out his wand.

Severus thanked whatever deities above that Harry had grown up with muggles and was not used to having the luxury of magic during the holidays. As such, Harry very rarely used the privilege of having access to his magic without having the ministry on his tail because of the wards around the castle.

Just after having that thought Severus regretted it as he thought of what Harry had to endure while with those _people_.

The silence which had been but a distant memory for Severus was heavenly and Harry returned to the room and sat on the seat next to Severus.

"Master? I've been wondering about something."

"Yes Harry? Continue." Severus was curious about what Harry had to say. He didn't usually initiate conversation and the tone in which Harry had started had piqued Severus's interest.

"When I had talked to Draco Malfoy after first year in the bookstore in Diagon Alley, he had looked at me oddly but then you had walked up behind me and he had left. This year again, when I had greeted him, Mr Malfoy had demanded to know if I was finally admitting that he was better than me or if I was mocking him. Why had he asked that? Does he not address the people he respects by their title?"

Severus let the information register in his brain and then tried to digest it. From how Harry explained the situation and the words he had used, Severus could guess that Harry had called Draco, Mr Malfoy and not by his name. Seeing as children _never_ address each other by titles he could see why Draco had been surprised.

"You know all of what I had told you about your uncle, your previous _master_." Severus spat the word out as if it was acid on his tongue.

"I have explained to you that very little, if anything, which he had done to you or taught you, were morally correct. While it is certainly very respectful to address someone by their title and not just 'hey you', or by their name or surname, children don't call other children as such.

You will see that most children do respect their elders and will address them by the appropriate title. _Most_ children. Mr Malfoy I believe was shocked and curious as to why you would address him as 'Mr Malfoy' when no other students in this school do so. He was quite right in suspecting that you might be mocking him for if it was any other student, and not you, that would have been the case."

"I know you however, and I know that you would not have done so to mock him."

"I think I understand. So what should I call him master?" Harry asked as he processed everything he had heard.

"Should either of you extend your hands in friendship, it would be wise to call him by his first name as calling him by his surname alone would seem disrespectful. Until such time however you may call him whatever you wish but I suggest that you refrain from calling him 'Mr' should you not wish to increase his curiosity. I think it will do the both of you good to get to know each other. He is not a bad person and I'm sure you'll find him very amusing once you get to know him. Intriguing at least."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the first of September was on a Friday this year, Harry was sitting up at the staff table when all the students filed in. He fidgeted nervously as he could see some of the students still pointed up at him even after they had become accustomed to his seating arrangements the previous year(s).

His master seemed to notice his unease and he leaned over to Harry.

"If you wish to sit with one of the houses you may do so, but go now as students are still entering and your change of seats will mostly go unnoticed."

Harry gave his master a grateful smile before he quickly made his way over to the Slytherin table. He was intrigued by Draco Malfoy and wanted to try to get to know the boy a bit better.

As Harry took his seat he glanced back up to the head table and gave his master another small smile. His eyes then slid down the table and landed on a new face. The man looked worn and tired but he had a happy smile on his face. He seemed to notice Harry stare and gave him a curious frown. Harry thought that it might have something to do with him sitting at the Slytherin table but it could also have been that the Professor didn't know why he had sat at the head table in the first place.

The man's eyes slid from Harry to Severus and Harry was very confused when the smile on the man's face faded and he looked at his master with suspicion.

The seat next to Harry scraped on the floor and he realized with a start that the hall had basically filled up with students and that none other than Draco Malfoy himself had seated himself next to him.

"Potter." The other boy said with only a hint of a sneer in his voice.

"Malfoy." Harry replied mildly after deciding that he would address the boy in the same way he was addressed.

"Why are you sitting here?"

The boy apparently had no problem about being blunt and so Harry decided that he would reply in kind.

"Because I want to get to know you."

The blond looked at him with a raised eyebrow before turning his head away.

Harry decided to let it drop and turned his attention to the sorting which had already started.

Start of term notices were announced and then the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Remus Lupin stood as the headmaster announced him and there were some scattered applause. No one really knew the man and everyone thought that he would only be there for a year anyway as the position was rumored to be cursed.

The students started leaving the hall and after giving his master a small smile Harry left with Draco.

"What is with you Potter? First year you barely talked to anyone, second year you're a bit more open but all 'respectful' or 'mocking' and now you've decided to get to know one of the people in the least favorite house. What's with that?"

"You intrigue me Malfoy and after having a talk with my M… with Professor Snape, I decided to get to know you for yourself rather than what your reputation paints of you."

"Oh, yes, I had almost forgotten. Professor Snape, he is your apprentice master right? How do the two of you get along, I have heard that he and your father didn't get along at all and I'm rather surprised that you should be _his_ apprentice."

"He didn't get along with my father? I didn't know that. We get along fine, he's helped me deal with some _stuff_ and he understands me."

"You talk like you have some big secret or problem you have to face from day to day. Care to tell me what it is?"

Harry looked at the boy with a wary expression. There was no way in hell that he'd tell Draco everything that had happened to him before or after he had begun Hogwarts but that the boy had noticed that something was up was worrisome enough.

"No Malfoy, no big secret or anything. Just personal things that I had to sort out with my family that he helped me with." That was as close to the truth as he could get and he was proud of his answer.

"Whatever Potter. See you in class."

Harry took the hint and he turned off at the next side passage while Malfoy kept on straight to the Slytherin commons.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Good morning Harry. I'm sorry that I missed you last night, the headmaster had called in a meeting for all the staff and we were busy until quite late."

"Good morning master. It's alright, I had walked back with Draco and we separated just before the Slytherin common rooms. You were right, he is a very curious person and I think we can learn a lot from each other. He's very sharp. I said something – which I probably shouldn't have – and he caught on and started asking questions. I diverted his attention though, so he didn't get too much information out of me."

"That's good to know and although I said that he is not a bad person, his father will undoubtedly be alerted of anything he finds interesting and I fear that the father and the son are not 'of the same mold'. If I can call it that. Lucius Malfoy is a very hard man and I fear that he might wish you harm. Be wary of him. With all that said, you should watch what you say to young Draco as he might not even realize that he is giving vital information to his father."

"Yes master, I understand."

"Good. Get dressed or we're going to be late for breakfast."

Harry quickly dressed in his school robes and grabbed his bag. It was quite heavy as he had to pack _all_ his books because he didn't have his schedule yet. Finishing up with a quick brush through his hair, Harry exited his rooms and found his master staring at him with an amused expression.

"What?"

"Are you very excited about the new school year starting Harry?"

"Yes Master." Harry didn't know what was going on but he was beginning to feel self-conscious with his master staring at him and clearly fighting back laughter.

"Yes, I had guessed as much. Harry, what day is it today?"

"Er.. Saturday master." Harry replied frowning.

His master just kept staring at him and Harry wanted to hit his head on the wall as he realized his mistake.

"Oh man, I really am a nutter, aren't I?"

"No Harry. It's perfectly reasonable that you would think to dress for school as we do not often go to the Great Hall for breakfast on Saturdays. Whenever I had told you to get dressed as we had to go to the Great Hall for breakfast, it was during the week and you had classes. After the holidays your mind pattern had changed and you were/are waiting for school to start. You are not a nutter Harry, it could have happened to anyone. We have to go to the Hall this morning as the schedules will be handed out today."

"Okay, I'll be right back." Harry mumbled as he blushed and quickly hurried back to his room to change into normal everyday clothes.

"Come Harry, you'll only embarrass yourself if you don't get that blush off your face by people wondering what you had done that caused you such embarrassment. Seeing as the students here are teenagers with hormones I can guarantee you that they will imagine things far worse – or better - than what had actually caused you the embarrassment."

Harry paled at that and quickly got himself under control. He did i not /i want anyone to think such things of him. Even though he might not be inexperienced, the whole school did not have to know that fact. He had realized while living with Master Severus that having a sexual relationship usually only happened when you were older and it was mostly kept private. To have his private affairs whispered throughout the school was not something he wanted to let happen.

Harry once again took his seat at the Slytherin table after telling his master that he wished to sit with Draco once again.

"Morning." Came the drawl behind him and Harry smiled up at the blond as he shooed some second years away from the seats next to Harry.

"Morning Malfoy."

Breakfast was silent between them after that as neither knew what to say to the other.

Harry scanned his eyes over his schedule as his master gave it to him after giving Draco his. He once again had extra Potions tutoring this year but on Monday's and Wednesday's.

Harry said goodbye to Malfoy as he left the hall after dessert was finished.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry could not shake the feeling of being followed from day to day and after a month of having the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end he decided to mention it to his master.

"I think someone's been following me around school. It started on my first day of classes and I haven't lost the feeling. It's like I can feel eyes on me. It doesn't happen during class but whenever I go from one class to another, I feel the eyes on me. Do you think that maybe… Do you think it could be Sirius Black? That he is trying to… to kill me too?"

Harry had worked himself into a right state as he explained the situation to his master.

The man had listened intently to the whole story but he didn't look worried in the least. In fact, he looked right pleased about something.

"I'm glad that you could recognize when you are being followed Harry, however, you do not have to worry about it as it is I who has been following you."

Harry's mouth dropped open as he remember his fear of his master's over protectiveness continuing into the school year. How was this possible? His master had classes to teach!!

"You did not think I would let you out of my sight while a mad-man was after you, did you? I've been using a time turner every day at lunch and at dinner to go back in time and check that everything was fine and that you were all right."

Harry felt a number of emotions burning up in him. Embarrassment that his master was 'running' after _him_, hurt that his master did not think he could take care of himself – he was 13 for crying out loud – and a whole new emotion which he couldn't decipher but which made him feel warm all over. It was the same as when he had realized that his master really, truly did care about him.

"Thank you Master." Harry whispered and willed the burning behind his eyes to go away.

Harry was startled to find himself in a strong embrace as his master whispered in his ear. "You have come to mean too much to me to just let you go off and hurt that pretty little neck of yours. Who do you think would make my tea for me when you're not there?"

Harry laughed at that and relaxed in his master's embrace. He could deal with the eyes following him everywhere. He could deal with it as he knew now that they only held care for him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry shuddered as he took the offered chocolate and tried to sit up. Professor Lupin was bent over him with a worried look on his face.

"Are you all right Harry?"

"Yes sir, I think so. What _was_ that?"

"That was the dementors that had been guarding the school against Sirius Black. They were getting hungry and had decided that the students in the school were easy prey."

"Prey?"

"Yes prey. They feed on your emotions. They drag all the happiness out of you and leave you to relive your worst memories."

"But why did I faint?"

"I guess that with your past, the fact that you were somewhat of an eye-witness to your parent's murder, it is no real surprise that you had fainted."

Harry nodded and didn't bother to correct his Professor on which memories had been in the forefront of his mind. No need to worry the man even more than he already was.

"You were screaming as well, though I don't know why that would be."

Harry knew perfectly well why he had been screaming but telling the man that he was reliving one of his worst sessions with his master – ex-master – was not something that he wished to do.

He thought back on the memory and deduced that he had most probably relived those moments so intensely that he had 'experienced' it once again and had fainted at the same time that his memory self had.

Even though the scars or the tearing he had experienced had not really been inflicted again, the memory was vivid enough.

Straightening shakily, Harry could just make out his master standing underneath one of the rafters of the Quidditch stands and watching Harry with a look of concern, bordering on panic.

He gave his master a small smile to let him know that he was all right, for now. His master nodded almost imperceptibly before returning to the castle.

Harry let Professor Lupin guide him to the castle but refused the man's offer to help him to the hospital wing.

"I'm fine Professor, really. I just need to go lie down for a bit. Professor Snape's quarters is just down here, it's not too far to walk."

"If you're sure Harry."

"I'm certain. Thank you Professor Lupin."

"You'll tell me if you need anything, anything at all."

"Yes sir."

Harry quickly made his way down to their – his master's – quarters and opened the door as soon as he was there. Professor Lupin had been very friendly and even protective of Harry since he had been there and Harry wondered if the man knew him from somewhere. Harry couldn't remember ever meeting the man and so he chalked it up to just being an over protective Professor.

As soon as Harry entered the room his master was by his side.

"Are you all right? What happened? Those blasted dementors, I told Albus that it was a bad idea to have them guard the school!"

His master turned him around and lifted his chin to look him in the eye.

Apparently satisfied with what he saw and not finding anything physically wrong with Harry he let him over to the couch.

"I will teach you a charm that will help you with keeping the dementors at bay. There is, unfortunately, nothing that can destroy them completely that I know of but driving them away is better than nothing."

"Thank you master, I'd appreciate that."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Expecto Patronum!!" Harry shouted and a silver hooded figure went charging around the room.

Harry had no doubts that the figure was his master. The books he had read, and his master's explanations about the charm all added up to the same conclusion.

Your patronus form was the figure, animal or form of your own personal 'protector'. Whoever or whatever you felt protected you the best took the form of your patronus.

He had always, when he was younger, thought that his father was his silent protector. That his father would have done everything in his power to protect Harry and care for him. Now, Harry felt that about his master.

"Very good Harry. We are done here for today. I have a meeting with the headmaster so I will not be back until later tonight. Return to our quarters and go to sleep, you need it."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir."

Harry had been practicing the Patronus charm with his master for two months and it was beginning to pay off.

He quickly made his way through the corridors and down the first staircase in the dungeons.

One of the doors to an unused classroom was slightly ajar and as Harry passed by he heard someone groan. He stopped before the door and debated on what to do. Someone could be seriously hurt and groaning in pain and if Harry went off to look for a Professor, it could prove to be fatal to whoever was hurt. Or, Harry could go in and help the person himself and face the consequences of not returning to his master's quarters as ordered.

Debating some more with himself and deciding that facing his master's wrath was better than facing the guilt of letting another person suffer, Harry pushed the door open a bit and stopped dead in his tracks.

Two sixth or seventh year students were kissing and touching each other. It was too dark for Harry to make out who they were or even if they were both boys or a boy and a girl. One of them definitely was a boy as the growl which resounded through the room was unmistakably that of a man.

Harry felt tingling all over his body and realized with a start that his groin was hardening a bit. Horrified at that realization, Harry quickly retreated out of the room and closed the door softly before turning and practically running back to his master's quarters.

He didn't know how long he had been curled up in a ball on his bed when he felt a strong hand settle on his shoulder.

"Harry? Harry, what is it? What's wrong?"

At the voice of his master Harry lifted his head and buried his face in his master's robe. He didn't want to talk about this. Didn't want to admit to the realization he had come to while watching those two students.

"Harry, calm down. Everything's all right. You're safe, I'm here and nothing can harm you. You're okay. Everything's fine." The soft words continued for another few minutes until Harry's sobs had died down a bit.

"Can you tell me what had upset you so much?"

"You'll hate me. I know you will. I'm just as bad as _him_."

"I can never hate you Harry. I care about you, you know that. And just as bad as _who_ do you think you are?"

"As Vernon."

Severus had to strain to hear the whispered response but when he did he felt his blood run cold.

"No Harry!! You are nothing like him, _nothing_!. What could make you think that? You are a most generous person. You're a very caring person and you will rather put yourself in harms way before hurting anyone else. You are _nothing_ like the monster named Vernon. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

"Yes Master. No Master. I don't know Master. It happened to me tonight! It happened!"

"What Harry? What had happened?" Severus was worried beyond belief. Something had clearly freaked Harry out beyond comprehension and as soon as Severus found out _who_ had scared his little sub so much he was going to kill them, slowly.

"I was… I was coming back to your quarter's master. I was just coming down the first stairs of the dungeons when I noticed that one of the doors to an unused classroom was slightly open. As I passed it, I heard… I heard someone groan. It sounded like he was in pain. I didn't know what to do so I decided to go in and see if I could help him maybe. I, I … there were two students there and they were kissing and touching each other. I, my.."

Harry broke off and turned his face away.

"What happened Harry? I promise you that nothing you say can make me hate you."

"I felt tingling all over. My groin, it hardened a bit. I.., I don't know why! I hated it when master Vernon had done anything to me, I had accepted it but I hated it! How can I now want to do that? I don't want to do that to anyone else, I don't!!"

"Sshh Harry. It's okay."

Harry didn't know exactly how it had happened but when he had calmed down a bit he found himself in Master Severus's lap being gently rocked back and forth.

"Are you okay now? Are you calm?"

"Yes master, thank you master."

"Harry, there is _nothing_ wrong with you. NOTHING. Boy's your age start to become aware of their own bodies and its needs and wants. When your prick gets hard, it does _not_ mean that you want to do the same to anyone else that you uncle had done to you. It is a perfectly natural reaction by your body."

Harry looked up at his master with a hesitant expression.

"So I'm not a freak?"

"No Harry. Oh Harry, you can _never_ be a freak to me. You are a growing boy with your hormones all over the place. This _will_ happen again Harry. I can assure you of that. You will find yourself getting hard at the most inopportune times but never, NEVER, think that you are a freak or as bad as that monster you had called master. He had _wanted_ to inflict pain. He had _wanted_ to make you his slave and do his every bidding. I very much doubt that you want to do the same. It is our choices Harry which defines us. If you choose to be a monster then you will be but if you choose to love and care for those close to you, you can never be a freak or a monster."

Severus settled back against the headrest but didn't loosen his arms around Harry. Harry needed to be held at the moment. He needed the comfort and support and nothing could prevent Severus from giving him what he needed.

Harry rested back against Severus and with a soft "Thank you Master" he closed his eyes in exhaustion and promptly fell asleep. Severus looked down at the tousled head rested on his chest and couldn't bring himself to disturb the young man so he summoned the blanket from the foot of the bed and draped it over the both of them before closing his own eyes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry had quickly reverted back to his old self and was smiling and joking again within a week.

Draco and Harry had formed somewhat of a 'friendship' or as Draco called it, an acquaintanceship.

They had come to call each other by their first names and could often be seen walking side by side through the halls or during lunch and free periods.

Both found the other intriguing and did their best to find out everything they could about each other.

Master Severus had been very pleased when Harry had told him about his 'acquaintanceship' with Draco and Harry was only too happy to continue with anything that made his master happy and proud.

Although he had at first forbid Harry from going on Hogsmead trips, Master Severus relented after Harry told him that Draco had been the one to ask if he could go with him.

It also might have had something to do with the fact that Harry had reminded Severus about his little time turner and that since he had used it everyday to check on Harry he could use it for a Hogsmead trip as well.

Severus had relented.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry stood in the middle of the room with torn emotions. He had listened and heard Sirius Black's explanation about what had really happened on that Halloween night his parents had been killed. He thought that there was no harm in letting the man proof his innocence by turning the rat that Ronald Weasley was holding into the human he was supposed to be.

On the other hand, his master had just entered the room and looked to be ready to kill Sirius there and then. If Sirius was lying and they did nothing then they could all be dead by the end of the evening. If he was not lying and his master killed Sirius then Harry would have been responsible for an innocent's death.

Harry turned slowly towards his master and said a soft "I'm sorry master" before casting a mild sleeping hex on him. He would deal with the consequences later but for now he wanted to give Sirius a chance.

Everything else happened too quickly for Harry to register. Pettigrew was showed to be alive and 'well', Sirius took to guiding Harry back to the castle and Harry cast a levitation charm on his master to ensure that he made it back to the castle safely.

As they exited the Whomping Willow, his master started to wake and after giving Harry a fierce look he turned his attention to Lupin who had frozen just outside the entrance of the tunnel.

"Hurry! Get back to the castle, he hasn't taken his Wolfsbane potion yet, he's not in his right mind!" Master Severus shouted as he pushed Harry in the back to get him walking.

-----------------

_Where is it? Where is it? Where IS it?_ Harry frantically rummaged through his master's dresser table in search of the time turner. He had seen his master take it off before dinner but he didn't know where he had put it.

Finding it at last under the pillow on the bed Harry hurried out of the quarters and out of the castle.

He had to do this. He just had to succeed. It was a suicide mission, he knew, but he didn't know what else to do. Sirius was going to be killed if he didn't do anything.

He didn't know exactly how the time turner worked and when he slipped it over his neck and turned it twice just incase the first turn didn't work, Harry found the world spinning before righting itself again.

Harry scanned the grounds and sighed in relief as he saw the Hyppogriff Draco had antagonized into biting him.

It was a difficult mission to get the Hyppogriff away from the cottage without being seen but by some miracle or another, Harry succeeded.

He knew that there was nothing he could do within the tunnel or in the Shrieking Shack as anyone there would hex him on the spot and so he waited until everyone was outside.

Harry smiled a bit as he saw the hooded form of his master appear from out his wand and watched in relief as it chased the dementors away.

After finding Sirius in one of the towers, Harry guided them up to the astronomy tower and said a quick goodbye before hurrying back down to his master's chambers. Hoping beyond hope that he arrived before his master.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was going to skin the boy alive! As soon as he heard that Sirius Black had escaped, Severus had hurried back to his chambers with the sneaking suspicion that Harry was behind this.

He had walked straight to his bed and had cursed in fluent French when he realized that his suspicions were correct.

He waited anxiously for his door to open and as soon as it did he had the boy in a death grip on the arm.

"What have I said about foolish adventures? Have I not made it clear to you that I do not want you to go off alone on any escapade you decided was worth your life!! And stealing from me, I would never have thought you capable of it!"

Harry cringed at the harsh words and the death grip on his arm.

He knew his master would never hurt him intentionally and was really only worried about him but he was sure that his arm would sport a bruise the next day.

"I'm sorry Master. Sirius is innocent! I saw Peter Pettigrew with my own eyes and he had even admitted that he had been my parent's secret keeper! I couldn't let Sirius die, I couldn't!!"

"Don't you dare cry now Harry. I'm here to scold you and make it clear that you are NOT to do anything as foolish as this again but if you start to cry you _know_ I won't be able to do so."

Harry smiled a bit through his tears. He knew his master had wanted to cheer him up a bit with that last pronouncement but he also knew that he deserved to be scolded and any other punishment his master decided on.

"I'm sorry Master. I won't say sorry for what I did because I believe I did the right thing but I'm sorry for disobeying you."

Master Severus looked at him for a long time before he nodded his head and turned to his bedroom.

He returned a moment later with a bottle of salve which he gently applied to Harry's arm where finger marks could just be made out.

"I'm glad that you're starting to stand up for yourself Harry and for what you believe but I'm still going to have to punish you for disobeying me, again."

Harry just nodded his head in acceptance before he settled back into the couch and laid his head down on his master's shoulder.

He was beginning to really love his new life with his master.

**End Chapter 6**

I just quickly want to point something out. Even though – in chapter 1 – I say that some of the men had 'returned the favor', Harry had never before gotten hard. Okay? Now that that's said…

What did you think? Review please!!


	5. Marks and Promises

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**AN:** Thank you for the reviews. I should probably have told you already…. I won't be able to update over weekends, ever!!

**Chapter 7: The marks we bear**

Harry sat on his bed, anxiously awaiting his master. His thoughts drifted back to the happenings of the previous day. No matter how many times he thought back on it, he could honestly not think of a way he could have done things differently while achieving the same results in the same period of time. To first have gone to his master and worked out another way to go about things would have resulted in time lost and it could have been too late for Sirius.

The same conclusion was reached should he have gone to any of the other Professors. No, he still maintained that he had done the right thing, at the right time.

Convincing his master of that was entirely another problem. His master have expressed his opinion on the matter and stated that although he was proud that Harry had made his own decisions and stood up for himself, he had disobeyed his master and that was not to be tolerated.

His musings were interrupted by the opening of his door and Harry looked up as his master entered.

Harry had somewhat expected his master to be clasping another blindfold and rope to tie his hands down but as he entered, Harry realized that his master was bare handed.

"I believe that it is not trust in myself that you are lacking Harry, but obedience. You do well while we are in normal situations and when we are together. You've never failed to do exactly as I say, when I say it but as soon as I tell you _not_ to do something, it seems that you opt to try my patience rather than obey my wishes."

"Understand Harry that I'm not doing this to punish you or to keep you from having fun. There are a lot of other ways in which you can have fun but if it puts your life in danger then I will not tolerate any disobedience. I am here to take care of you, to look out for your well being and to be there for you when you need me most but also when you don't need me. I am here to keep you from any foolish acts which might result in you endangering yourself. You may not like it Harry but the fact of the matter is that you mean more to me than Black or any other person in this school. If I have to choose between your safety and that of another, I choose you."

What Master Severus was saying made sense but it didn't mean that Harry had to like it. People, everyone, deserved to live as far as Harry was concerned and that Master Severus put Harry's life above those of others made him feel wanted, cared for and even loved. He didn't think he'd ever be able to decide to put the life of one person above those of others and that his master could do so now was a bit worrisome but Harry couldn't help but appreciate it nonetheless.

"I see that you're beginning to understand now Harry. While I am glad that you comprehend what I am saying, I fear that you will still not comply with my wishes as you yourself do not believe and live according to my will. Do not misunderstand, I want nothing but to give you a will of your own but as foolishly reckless as you are at the moment I'm afraid that I can't grant you that completely."

"I have researched a spell and would like to place it on you. You don't have to fear Harry; it will do you no harm, not permanently. The spell can be very directly focused which is what I will do."

"Physical punishment have until now been a concept that I was very wary of regarding you as I do not want to remind you of your uncle in any way. Time and understanding I feel have matured you a lot and should you agree I feel that some physical punishment would not go amiss. I make a vow to you now that I will _never_ hurt you with the intent to _hurt_. The spell I mentioned is one that will give you the equivalent of a sharp smack on the rear which will be just hard enough to make you take notice no matter the situation but not so soft as to be casually brushed off."

The thought of having his back lacerated again had flashed through Harry's mind but as his master continued he realized that that fear was unfounded.

"The spell will be focused on situations where you know that what you are doing is against my wishes but where you still think to do as you please and ignore my orders and any regard to your own safety."

"When I feel that you have learned to regard your own safety on the same level that I do, then I will remove the spell."

Harry could only sit mutely listening to his master. Everything his master has said made sense, of a sort, and Harry even agreed with it somewhat but when in a life and death situation, logical thought was not exactly a luxury you experienced.

"Turn around Harry. Lie down on your stomach and lower your trousers to your knees. I assure you that I will not hurt you other than giving you your punishment. For the spell to work I have to give you the first spank, the pressure and position I use now will be what you'll experience should you disobey me again. You will receive two spankings, one on each cheek, now but the spell will determine the degree of your 'transgression' against me in future and as such you may experience only one spanking next time."

Harry complied without a word. What could he say? _No Master, don't! I promise to be good. I promise I'll obey you!_ Harry knew that he could not keep such a promise and so he knew that the punishment was both warranted and a generally good idea.

"Count them out loud Harry. Although there will only be two, it will help you focus on your punishment and you will know what will happen, when it happens."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes master." Harry's voice was stronger and steadier than he would have thought possible and he realized with a start that he had actually already accepted this and felt that he needed this; if only to ground him to reality.

Harry felt the sharp smack of a hand hitting flesh and couldn't stop the surprised hiss from escaping his lips as the sting on his ass registered in his brain.

"One." Harry counted out loud as he remembered his master's instructions.

Another smack was delivered, just as hard as the first one and though Harry by no means wanted to experience it from day to day or ever again really, it was nothing compared to what master Vernon used to do.

"Two". Harry said as he opened his eyes which he only just realized he had closed.

His bum burned a bit but it was not too bad and Harry thought that with a bit of soothing cream he would be able to sit without wincing by evening.

The words his master whispered while delivering the punishment wasn't clear but Harry felt the tingle on his buttocks and knew that the spell had been cast.

It wasn't the punishment itself that made him feel guilty about what he had done but that Master Severus had had to do it in the first place. Looking over his shoulder at his master Harry could see that it had almost been more painful for his master to do this than it had been for Harry.

Turning a bit, Harry was about to sit up when Master Severus stilled him with a hand.

"Lie back down Harry."

Harry complied without question. He really _did_ trust Master Severus.

Strong hands began kneading his buttocks and even though Harry had been a bit startled at the cold cream it was a welcome relief.

"It would be best if you didn't sit for a while yet but other than that you are free to do as you please."

Harry looked back at his master and on impulse he turned around completely and enveloped the man in a hug.

"Thank you master, I will do my best to not disobey you again."

"That is all I can ask Harry; that is all I can ask."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The summer holidays had been the favorite part of the year for Harry for the last three years and as Harry descended the stairs to the dungeons two weeks after school had ended, he decided that this year was the best thus far.

Master Severus was spending more time with Harry than in previous years and Harry couldn't have been happier.

Another incident such as the previous year had happened and even though Harry had been a bit distressed at finding his cock standing up straight when he awoke the one morning, Harry remembered his master's words and calmed himself with the knowledge that he was i not /i a freak; that it was a perfectly natural reaction for boy's his age.

When told later of Harry's little panic attack, Master Severus expressed his pride in Harry and how he had handled the situation. That he just ignored it had caused a worried frown to appear on his master's face but it was gone a moment later.

Harry was worried that maybe he wasn't dealing with i it /i as he should but Master Severus assured him that everything would be all right.

"Afternoon Harry."

Harry turned around after closing the door to his master's quarters and smiled at the man.

"Good afternoon master."

"Come sit here a moment Harry. I have a few things I wish to discuss with you."

Harry settled himself next to his master and as he had done in the last few weeks, he leaned his head on his master's shoulder and listened as his master spoke.

"The Quidditch World Cup is this year and though I hold no love for the sport I feel that it is something that you will enjoy. I have procured two tickets and we will leave the day after tomorrow. The Malfoys have informed me that they will be keeping space open for us in their cubicle so I am sure you will be glad to know that you and Draco will have around a week together."

"Really? We're going to the World Cup? Thank you, thank you, thank you!!"

Severus grunted as Harry's weight hit him and he thanked the deities that he had been sitting or they would both be sprawled on the ground right now.

Harry's hugs was becoming a frequent occurrence and though Severus made no real effort to show his pride in his charge he knew that Harry was perceptive enough to know when Severus was proud of him even though nothing was said.

"You're welcome Harry, now go entertain yourself, I have work to do."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Draco!" Harry hurried his pace a bit as he spotted the Malfoys. He could feel his master's eyes boring into him and he flushed a bit as he realized that how he was behaving - like a three year old child taken on his first piggy back ride.

"Mr Malfoy, Mrs Malfoy it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Harry Potter. What a surprise you had turned out to be. The first apprentice at Hogwarts in decades and under Professor Snape no less. My, my, my, what _is_ this world coming to? You will be great should you continue to choose your allies wisely."

"I beg your pardon Mr Malfoy, but I'm afraid I do not understand your meaning."

"Do not worry yourself over it Potter, you were not meant to understand, only to listen."

Harry shot a sidelong glance at his master and recalled a conversation of the previous year. His master had mentioned that the elder Mr Malfoy was one to be watched and be wary of. Harry could see why now.

"Come, let us not dawdle the game is about to begin."

The game lasted three days and even though Draco had been right in who would catch the snitch, Harry had been right in predicting that Bulgaria would not win, no matter the skill of their seeker.

Mr Malfoy had disappeared a few hours ago and even though his master had also not yet returned, Harry was not worried about his whereabouts and doings. The elder Malfoy set Harry's nerves on edge and not knowing the man's whereabouts were truly troubling Harry. He could not pinpoint what it was about the man that distressed him so much but knew from experience that his instincts were rarely wrong.

Shouting penetrated Harry's raging thoughts and just as he was about to ask what was going on Draco grabbed his arm and they were running out the tent and down the narrow road. People were exiting their tents and looking around frantically for loved ones even as they made their own way down the road and away from the screaming.

Turning his head just a fraction Harry could see a huge green symbol in the sky. It looked to be made of smoke but he couldn't be certain.

Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and without even looking Harry knew it was his master. He had come to know the man's smell, his touch, his _everything_ like the back of his hand and he immediately relaxed as he knew that no harm would befall him while his master was with him.

"Let us hurry. We are not safe here anymore, especially not you Harry."

There was no way that Harry would protest at that moment and disobedience was the farthest thing from his mind.

Rushing though a throng of people was no easy feat and Harry was not surprised in the least when his Master's hand slipped from his shoulder as other people moved between them.

What exactly happened Harry didn't know but one moment he was running like he had never run before and the next he found himself flat on his stomach and felt numerous people step on his back in their haste to get away.

As soon as an opening presented itself, Harry straightened up but he had lost sight of his master. The majority of people have made their way down the road and only a few strugglers remained. Harry took one more look around and continued in the direction he had first begun with his master behind him.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and Harry looked around frantically. He knew that feeling. It was the feeling he got whenever his master used the Time-Turner to keep and eye on him. This time however, there was no care he could feel in the piercing stare and any hope that it was his master died as soon as it rose.

A lone figure stood at the end of the road and no matter how hard Harry tried he couldn't look away. Taking an involuntary step forward Harry thought of what his master would say if he knew what Harry was doing.

He would not be pleased, that Harry knew for certain. The desire to see who this lone figure was struggled for a hold on Harry's will and it won out. As Harry drew closer to the figure his master's words echoed through his mind but no matter how many times Harry shoved it back, it reappeared a moment later again.

The sense of wrongness was overwhelming and just as Harry though that he could and should go no further a sharp pain on his buttocks made itself known and Harry cried out with the surprise of the 'attack'.

The figure was looking past Harry and even though the man gave him a curious look when Harry cried out he disappeared a moment later.

The reason for his sudden departure was readily apparent when Harry once again felt the strong but welcome arms of his master surround him.

"I'm glad to see that the spell works and I hope that this will teach you the lesson it's intended to."

Harry was shaking too hard to respond and could only nod.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I believe that tonight was the first night of numerous attacks to come. I will tell you some very personal things but I can't stress the importance of secrecy enough. _No-one_ can know of what I'm about to tell you. The headmaster and a select few know and you will as well after this evening, but no one else. Is that clear?"

"Yes master."

Severus took a deep breath before he lifted his left arm and rolled up the sleeve.

"You will no doubt notice that this is the same shape as the mark which lit up the sky tonight at the Quidditch stadium. It is in fact the exact same mark, created by a genius whose knowledge and power had corrupted him so completely that he is no more considered human, even by his followers."

"Yes, I am talking about Voldemort. I had once, when I was young and innocent and stupid thought that by serving him I would achieve greatness; that I could make a name for myself. The only name I had made was that of murderer, fiend and Death Eater.

I am not proud of what I have done and I fear that I will never be able to do enough to atone for my sins. I have killed, I have tortured and I have destroyed, but I have also healed, helped and comforted. I continue to do so every day of my life and it will never be enough, not for me.

The day you stepped into my life was the day I realized that I would never be able to spy again. I had renounced Voldemort a year before his downfall by your hands and had spied on him for Dumbledore and his cause. I was at first angry and frustrated that I would not be able to do anymore for the 'light side' of this war but I have come to realize that I'm doing something that no-one else can. You, Harry, will one day be the person everyone looks up to for help and guidance. I will do my best to help you become the best leader you could be and that is my 'atonement' for my sins. For I know that you will be great and that with my help you have already come a long way. As long as you continue to believe in me, in what I've told you over the last few years, we will be all right. You will win this war and peace will once again be attained."

"I do not expect you to believe me right now nor do I request that you trust me but think back on what you've learned over the years and what we have been through together and you will hopefully realize that even though you might bear the mark of something evil, it does not necessarily make _you_ evil."

Harry had been quiet the whole time and Severus feared that he had lost any and all respect his charge had in him.

Looking at Harry he could see that the boy was deep in thought but before he could ask what was bothering the boy Harry looked up at him and opened his mouth.

"I understand master. I will not judge you on a mark placed on you years ago before you knew what you know now. I only ask that you give me the same courtesy."

Severus's whole body stiffened at that and his blood ran cold at the implications of the statement.

_Please no, please don't let it be what I think it is._

His fears were confirmed as Harry turned around and lifted up his t-shirt.

In all the years Harry had lived with Severus they had never seen each other in anything other than everyday wear or robes, or when Severus had asked Harry to lower his trousers the other day.

The shirt fell out of Harry's lifeless fingers as he presented his back to Severus and Severus had to work very hard in keeping the snarl building up silent.

There on one of Harry's shoulder blades was an imprint of a word. It looked to have been burned into the flesh by a hot poker and Severus shuddered as he thought of how young Harry had to have been when he received it.

FREAK was imprinted in capital letters on the smooth skin and even though it was a few years old, it was clearly visible and would stay that way for the whole of Harry's life.

His murderous thoughts of Vernon Dursley escalated to such a degree that he thought he should maybe turn the man into a house elf and deliver him to the Malfoy's as a Christmas present. He would receive no more than he deserved at their hands.

Severus forcibly brought himself back to the present and as he looked at Harry once more he could see the small frame shacking, whether from the cold or something else he wasn't sure. Moving forward, Severus embraced Harry from behind and hauled the boy around an on his lap where he rocked the small frame back and forth until Harry fell asleep. Soothing words accompanied the rocking and Severus made certain to reassure Harry that he was still cared for and that this did _not_ make Severus love him any less.

Whether Harry had heard that last part, where Severus for the first time admitted that he loved Harry could not be ascertained, but _Severus_ knew and he also knew that he would do anything to make sure that Harry knows it and _believes_ it eventually.

_That blasted man had _branded _him!! _Death would be too easy a punishment for the man and Severus vowed to himself that he would make the man pay, dearly.

**End Chapter 7**

**Chapter 8: Whispered promises**

Harry woke the next morning feeling better than he had in a long while. He could feel his masters arms still securely held around him and relaxed back against the strong body behind him.

A whispered promise of love and care resounded in Harry's mind and whether it had been a dream or reality mattered little to him at the moment. He just wanted to bask in that feeling forever.

The arms surrounding him tightened minutely before it disappeared altogether. Harry closed his eyes in feigned sleep and heard his master exit the room.

He had not thought that he was capable of feeling such a magnitude of hope, as he did at the moment. Hope was something he had long since abandoned as it has always left him feeling bereft and worse than ever before.

Now though, he was hoping for that whispered promise to become a reality; to be shown as truth and not just wishful thinking.

The clock on his bed side table announced the hour and Harry was startled to find that it was seven o'clock already. He had not slept so late in weeks.

Donning some everyday clothes and then a robe over it, Harry made his way over to the living room.

His master was seated on his usual couch and a thick book which Harry could only guess was potions related open on his lap.

"Morning master, would you like some tea?"

"Morning Harry, did you sleep well? Yes, some tea would be greatly appreciated."

"I slept very well master, thank you."

Harry cluttered about in the kitchen and was soon ready with some tea and sandwiches. He set the tray down in front of his master before taking his own place next to the man.

Master Severus set his book down and Harry quickly leaned over and lifted the plate with sandwiches to give it to his master.

"Thank you Harry, but where is your plate?"

"I… er…" With his emotions all over the place yesterday and the content feeling he had woken up with that morning Harry had honest forgotten to make himself some.

"No matter, here, take some of these." Master Severus held the plate between the two of them and as Harry hesitated his master looked at him pointedly before holding the plate a little closer to Harry.

"Thank you master." Harry whispered as he took one of the offered sandwiches.

They ate in silence and when the plate was empty Harry took it without a word and went to the kitchen to clean the dishes.

"Would you mind assisting me with a potion today? Students are due to arrive at no later than six this evening and I'm afraid I've yet to finish restocking all the hospital wing's supplies."

"No master. Yes master, I mean I'll help." Harry flushed as he struggled to come up with a correct response.

Master Severus chuckled a bit but he just gave Harry's arm a gentle squeeze as he turned to his bedroom.

"Be ready in ten minutes. Put on the new robe I bought you, it's hanging on the right in your closet; it's thicker than normal robes and will protect you from most potion ingredients or accidents."

Harry hurried to comply and soon they were standing in companionable silence before four cauldrons. Harry tended to one with a mild sleeping potion simmering in its depths while his master worked simultaneously on the other three.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus was going to _kill_ Albus. That the man had not seen it fit to inform him of this latest hair-brained scheme, er idea, was the last straw.

Holding a Tri-Wizard tournament was like giving a world wide invitation to anyone interested to come and see if they could maybe create the ultimate havoc scene and kill Potter.

There would be so many people who would want to watch the participants and no way to know if they were there purely for the entertainment of the competition or for a more sinister reason.

Severus's Time Turner had never before seen so many turns. He had taken to going back in time during weekends as well to watch over the boy. He did not know i what /i would happen if Potter should come in harms way but knew that should he be there, whoever had put his charge in harm would wish they were never born. Or maybe they'd wish to be at the mercy of the Dark Lord for he would kill them swiftly where Severus would torture them and maybe, if he tired of them, then he'd kill them.

Harry had of course immediately noticed the change and had just given Severus a smile after the first weekend of watching before carrying on with his doings.

Draco had also taken to following Harry around and even though Severus was proud of the boy's loyalty and protectiveness another emotion had raised its ugly head. Jealousy.

Severus knew deep down that it was irrational for him to feel that way and that no matter how close Draco and Harry got that Harry would still look at him as his master. The thing that bothered Severus was that maybe, just maybe, he would want to continue his relationship with Harry past Hogwarts and see if it could develop into something more. That he could come to be something more than just a master, that he could become a friend, a companion and a confidant; a lover.

Harry had not said anything yet and Severus didn't expect him to but the uncertainty of Harry's own feelings was frustrating to Severus.

He knew he cared for the boy, a lot, he had even admitted to himself that he loved the boy but he knew that no matter what, he'd respect the boy's wishes.

If Harry should find love with another Severus would be crushed but he knew that he loved the boy too much to keep him from having the happiness he deserved. He could only i hope /i that he would one day be enough for the boy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Harry Potter."

Harry looked up at Dumbledore with wide eyes. No, this could i not /i be happening! His eyes frantically searched out that of his master's and Harry was horrified to see that the man was just as shocked as him and that there had even trickled a measurement of fear into the man's eyes.

The Hufflepuff he was sitting next to gave him a scathing look and pushed him unceremoniously out of his chair.

Harry had always liked the Hufflepuffs. They were loyal and good company if you just wanted to talk about everything and nothing. Now though, he knew that he had somehow stepped on their parade and with him as competition with Cedric, they would sooner shun him than turn on one who was really of their own house.

Making his way to the door the other champions had disappeared through Harry came face to face with Fleur Delacour, Victor Krum and Cedric Diggory.

Moments later the headmaster entered followed by Professor McGonagall, his master and the heads of the other two schools.

His master immediately moved to stand behind Harry but not so close as to raise suspicion. The professors conversed for a few moments and it was determined that nothing could be done and Harry would have to participate.

The air in his lungs seemed to disappear altogether and left Harry feeling faint. The room emptied with congratulations to the other three participants and just as Harry thought he'd pass out strong hands steadied him from behind.

"Let's get back to our quarters and we can talk about this."

Harry nodded as he had no air left to make any noise never mind a word or sentence.

"Breathe Harry, I won't have you passing out and leaving me to carry you down to our quarters."

The gentle rebuke worked and Harry took a few slow breaths before he nodded to his master to indicate that he was ready to leave.

As soon as they entered his master's quarters Harry was held tight against a strong chest.

"I had thought that something was going to go wrong and you'd once again find yourself in danger as seems to happen every year but this, this is ridiculous."

Harry ducked his head in shame but his master gently lifted his chin again.

"Don't Harry. This is not your fault. I know you and I know you'd never do something like this, especially as you hate attention so much. Do not punish yourself for something you had no hand in."

The magnitude of the situation was slowly dawning on Harry and he felt his legs begin to shake. Untangling himself from his master he made his way shakily over to the couch and sat down heavily.

A cup of tea was thrust before his eyes and Harry gratefully took it if only to have something to hold in order to steady his hands.

"There is clearly someone in this school who wants you in this competition and seeing as it is actually a competition for older years and more experienced witches and wizards I would hazard a guess that the reason for entering you in the competition was not a beneficial one."

Harry rested his head against his master's shoulder as they sat there and talked. He would finally get to read the sixth and seventh year books his master had forbidden him to read before but the reason for why he got to read them now weighed heavily on his mind.

Feeling his eyes grow heavy Harry snuggled closer to his master and just before he fell asleep he could have sworn he felt something brush against his forehead and once again that whispered promise of love and protection.

Maybe it had not been a dream after all?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of all the possible creatures, they had to choose dragons. Having the mer-people agree to help them with the competition wasn't enough, oh no, they had to get the most difficult creatures on earth to manage. How did they think they'd handle it if one of the dragons managed to cut itself loose? What then? Catching a dragon was one of the most difficult things to _do_. Severus would almost hazard a guess that it was more difficult than escaping the Dark Lords wrath.

Morality be damned. He'd warn Harry about what he would have to face. The fact that Severus had only found out what the first task entailed a day before the event put his nerves even more on end but they'd figure something out. They always did.

"Dragons!!!" Harry screamed as Severus informed him of what he'd found.

"Yes Harry, dragons. I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell at me though; I have a headache as it is."

"Sorry Master. Dragons? What are they thinking?"

"I would hazard a guess that they didn't think when they decided on this task but that's just me."

"What do they expect? That we'd sing them a lullaby and hope our voices don't put them off?"

Severus smirked at the thought of Harry standing there with a hand across his heart and singing his heart out while a dragon stood before him head cocked to the side to figure out if it was actually 'food' presented on a silver platter with accompanied music or if they were losing their minds.

"What exactly do you find funny about me being held between two jaws with sharp pointy teeth?"

Severus sobered quickly as the seriousness of the matter came crushing back and then scowled at Harry as the words registered in his brain.

"Do _not_ joke about something like that Harry!"

"You will only be allowed your wand when you enter the arena so I suggest you think of some way to subdue the dragon for a few seconds or minutes or however long you will need to do whatever it is that you'll have to do."

The rest of the evening was spent working out various ways to get past a dragon whether by distraction or subduing the beast.

The knowledge of what you'll have to face was nothing when facing it in real life and Harry found himself rooted to the spot just after exiting the door after being announced as the last champion to take on a dragon.

He could see the eggs behind the dragon and could just make out what he hoped was the golden egg he would have to grab to complete the task.

The various possibilities of what the task would entail that had been mentioned the previous evening rushed through his mind and he discarded any of the ideas pertaining to having to mount the dragon. He then thanked the deities that that was not what needed to be done.

Subduing the dragon would be the best in this case and Harry wracked his brain to think of how it could be done.

Dragon scales rebounded most spells so magical means was discarded. The only way Harry could think of to subdue the dragon at that moment was to drop something as big and heavy as the dragon on it.

A fleeting thought of summoning Hagrid flashed through his mind but Harry squashed it. He didn't want to hurt anyone during this.

The books which Harry had poured through since he was announced as a champion would help him immensely he realized as he thought of a plan.

Transfiguration for the past three years and a bit had not really taught them anything that would be of use to him now but as Harry had read the fifth, sixth and seventh year books he knew that taking a chance at trying his magic on the advanced spells was his only choice.

Harry looked around quickly to find a piece of metal or anything that would be hard enough to transfigure and still hold most of its qualities.

Seeing no metal but quite a lot of rocks Harry picked the biggest one and transfigured it into a long pole which he planted solidly in the ground.

He then took a deep breath before putting all of the energy and magic he dared into the summoning spell.

A minute had passed and Harry was beginning to fear that he had failed when he saw a long thin shape barreling toward him.

Harry focused on controlling the summoning charm more directly and he directed the thin pole towards the dragon that had stayed beside the eggs to guard them.

The hoop at the end of the pole lowered over the dragons head and as Harry released the _accio_ charm he muttered a shrinking charm to tighten the hoop around the dragon's neck and then once again summoned the pole to him, dragging the dragon along and 'welding' the pole to the transfigured one beside him.

He knew he wouldn't have a lot of time as the dragon would not take long to break free but he hoped it would be enough time for him to grab the egg.

He knew that the 'quidditch' goal hoops were strongly warded to withstand any weather and years of wear and tear but his own transfigured pole would not last long against a dragon.

His hands closed around the egg and applause rose throughout the stands. Harry turned around clutching the egg close to his chest and just as he bowed his head a bit the dragon got loose and with a mighty roar it charged at Harry.

The world went black before he really knew what had happened and he tightened his arms around the egg, just in case.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus felt his heart stop for a beat or two as the dragon ripped itself loose of the 'shackles' Harry had created but before anyone else could even blink he had his wand out and summoned Harry to himself.

The boy's head smacked on a rock during the upward summoning but Severus felt he would deal with the guilt of that later, for now he just wanted his charge out of the clutches of an enraged dragon.

The shackles which the ministry had had on the dragon since the beginning was keeping the beast on the ground for the moment but Severus doubted it would hold.

Dragonhandlers swarmed the dragon and Severus breathed a sigh of relief as the ten men together shouted the stunning spell and the dragon succumbed to it.

Ignoring the stares people threw his way Severus caught Harry as the boy landed in front of him and conjured a stretcher.

With Harry firmly strapped down Severus excused himself with all the dignity he could manage and made his way swiftly to the hospital wing.

The announcement of a full-score for Harry didn't even make the slightest halt in his measured footsteps and Severus glared at anyone standing in his way.

"I believe he is just knocked out Poppy but it would be best to check him over completely." Severus informed the Medi-Witch as soon as he entered her wing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, so that's why I blacked out. I had thought that maybe the dragon had gotten to me."

Severus shuddered as he thought of what would have happened had he not summoned Harry to him when he had.

"No, and thank Merlin for that."

Harry blinked up at him from his position against Severus's side but a smiled a moment later and settled back down.

"I have figured out the clue for the next task."

Severus looked at Harry with a raised eyebrow. It had only been two weeks since the first task and Harry had already figured out the clue to the next one.

"I opened the egg after I woke that first day and recognized the screeching as that of mer-people when they were above water. I had read about them in one of the seventh year books and so I figured that it could only mean that I should listen to the message under the water."

"A very fine conclusion to make. What did the message tell you?"

Harry suddenly looked at him with a bit of fear and Severus dreaded the answer to his question.

"It says something about finding what is lost and most dear to you."

That didn't mean much to Severus and he wondered why Harry was so apprehensive about it.

"I'm sure everything will be fine Harry. The headmaster would never let anyone get hurt intentionally."

Harry made some sort of choking noise but Severus thought it could have been meant as assent.

-----------------

The weeks before the second task went by in a blur and after finding out that he would be expected at the Yule Ball he informed Severus that he would need a new cauldron before long.

Severus had sent him a suspicious glare but found that he was not surprised in the least when Harry blew up his cauldron the day before the Ball and so landed himself in the hospital wing with boils and a concussion.

He would deal with the boy's irresponsible behavior at a later stage but marveled at the Slytherin side of the boy.

The Yule Ball went off without any further major upsets and the other three champions showed up with dates and enjoyed the evening with their fellow students. Or so Severus heard as he had informed Albus in no uncertain terms that he was going to stay at Harry's side no matter what. It was one way to get _him_ out of having to supervise dim-witted horny teenagers.

The sheepish smile Harry sent his way when he woke up did nothing to Severus and he informed Harry that he would serve a week's worth of detentions to clean up the mess he'd made.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you nervous Harry?"

"A bit, but I know that as long as M.. Professor Snape is out there to watch over me, nothing could go wrong."

Draco looked at him curiously. It was the second time that Harry had started with calling Professor Snape something starting with an 'M' but what it could be or mean, Draco didn't know.

"Well, good luck. I haven't seen Professor Snape yet but I'm sure he's somewhere with the other professors."

Harry looked around nervously but he conjured up a smile to appease his own concern.

"Yes, I'm sure you're right. Did you bright the Gillyweed?"

"Here, but know that if Professor Snape asks, you got it yourself. Clear?"

Harry nodded and walked over to the other champions.

The water was freezing but as the Gillyweed started working Harry noticed it less and less until the water felt the same temperature as outside.

Grindylows blocked his path halfway down to where Harry hoped he'd find whatever he was supposed to find but he dealt with them swiftly and effectively.

Harry felt his heart speed up to unimaginable levels as he caught sight of his master tied with a rope and eyes closed.

A flick of his wand later he had his master firmly clasped to his body and looked around frantically for any of the other champions. He couldn't leave the other three people there!! A shark nearly took his leg off but his horrified squeak died in his throat as he realized that it was half man and half shark and he relaxed as he knew it was one of the other champions. The girl on the right was ripped loose and dragged up by the shark-man without even a look in Harry's direction.

Cedric Diggory turned up just as Harry thought he was going to have to take all three unconscious people up to the surface.

The little girl with the blond hair was the only one left and after waiting another five minutes Harry glared at the merman standing in his way before blasting him back a few meters and severing the rope holding the girl in place.

The air in his lungs seemed to squeeze his insides and Harry realized that his time had run out with as much speed and force as he could he pushed his master and he girl up toward the surface before shouting a propelling spell on himself and once again grabbing hold of the two unconscious 'passengers'.

As soon as they broke the surface his master and the little girl woke up and Master Severus quickly helped Harry get the girl to the shore before getting himself out and giving a hand to Harry.

"Stupid, idiotic, self-sacrificing boy!"

His master whispered in his ear as he was led over to the other champions and the announcers. It was decided that Harry would take second place as he had been the first to the 'prisoners'.

"Did you really think we would come to harm. The headmaster would not have just left us there idiot boy, this is a competition that _children_ participate in. They would never leave it up to chance!"

The whispered words continued throughout all the announcements and by the time they returned to his master's quarters Harry felt three inches tall.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus had just been thinking on which course of action would hold the least consequences when Harry and the Diggory boy appeared in front of the crowd.

The French girl had long since been 'rescued' from within the maze and Severus's nerves had been on end ever since.

Two hours had passed since then and Severus had begun to think that something had gone drastically wrong. He was thinking of how suspicious it would look if he snuck off to get his Time-Turner and check up on Harry when Harry appeared before them.

His relief at seeing his little Sub was short lived as he saw the sobs wracking the small body and realized with dread that the body next to Harry was too still to be normal.

Chaos ensued and Severus could just see Harry being led off to the side and back to the castle by Alastor Moody. Not trusting _anyone_ with Harry at the moment, Severus followed them.

He entered the classroom just as Moody conjured ropes and tied Harry to the chair. Severus's wand was in his hand in a second and Moody was blasted across the room.

Checking to make sure that Harry was okay, Severus focused his attention back on Moody. The man began to change before his eyes and Barty Crouch Jr looked at him with a smirk on his face.

Dumbledore and the minister entered the classroom and quickly dealt with the imposter while Severus checked his Sub over more thoroughly.

Making their excuses, Severus led Harry back to their quarters and hugged the boy close to him as the door closed behind them.

"He's back." Harry whispered as they sat down on the couch.

There was no need for Harry to elaborate on what he meant and Severus tightened his hold on Harry as they settled back into silence.

Severus hadn't even realized what he was doing when Harry drew in a deep breath which held a hint of pain.

Looking down at where his hand had unconsciously been tracing circles on Harry's arm Severus paused in what he was doing and took hold of the arm.

Snarling at the cut he saw Severus stood up and quickly retrieved some healing salve.

"I take it that this means he used your blood in a ritual to regain a body?"

Harry nodded mutely and Severus gently rubbed the salve over the wound before he whispered a spell to help speed up the healing.

"Wormtail was there. He's the one who killed Cedric. _'Kill the spare'_, that's all he was to them. Just a spare person who had no means in their plans and was just there for entertainment purposes. He wasn't even supposed to _be_ there! I had asked him to take the cup with me. If I hadn't, then he'd still be alive, then he would have been here now. It's my fault, it's my entire fault!"

Severus took Harry by the arms and dragged him onto his lap where he rubbed soothing circles on the boy's back.

"This was not your fault Harry. Wormtail and Voldemort are the ones who had killed Cedric, not you. There was no way you could have known that the cup was a portkey. You took great risk to bring his body back with you, I don't even know how you'd done it but that you had come face to face with Voldemort and survived is a feat of its own. I've never been prouder of you than I am right now. You've proven that a fourteen year old boy can do what no grown man – except Dumbldore and a few select others – have done. You've survived a Tournament meant for seventh year students with no visible marks to bear and have done so with your head held high. You're a very brave young man and anyone who knows you could be nothing but proud."

"Thank you Master."

"You're very welcome Harry, now sleep, you need it both physically and emotionally. I promise I'll be here when you wake up and you can talk to me about anything you wish."

"Yes master." Harry whispered as he closed his eyes and settled his head on his master's lap.

This time he knew it wasn't just his imagination as he felt a hand brush his hair behind his ear and his master whispered that he would always love him, no matter what.

His sleep fogged brain was harshly brought back to reality when he heard a strangled yell of "What??!!"

Turning his head slightly on his master's lap Harry came face to face with one enraged godfather.

**End Chapter 8**

So, what did you think? Review please!!!

Next chapter(s) will be up tomorrow...


	6. Words and pain

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

_This time he knew it wasn't just his imagination as he felt a hand brush his hair behind his ear and his master whispered that he would always love him, no matter what._

_His sleep fogged brain was harshly brought back to reality when he heard a strangled yell of "What??!!"_

_Turning his head slightly on his master's lap Harry came face to face with one enraged godfather._

**Chapter 9: The power of words**

Severus stiffened as he heard his door open but the fleeting hope he had that it was just Dumbledore coming down for some reason or another was gone as he heard the mutt's voice.

Harry turned his head slightly so he could see past Severus but even though every fiber of his being wanted him to wrap his arms around the boy and hold him back he knew he couldn't.

Any sudden movements on his part would probably set Black's thought patterns back in motion and he could loose …. he was not going to think about that.

Harry was sitting up by this time and Severus pulled the arm that had somehow wrapped around Harry's shoulder back as Black came further into the room.

"Just what in the world is going on in here?"

Black's voice was more of a growl than an actual human voice but Severus understood him nonetheless.

"Harry, could you go to your room for a while? I wish to speak to your do..godfather for a moment."

Harry looked between the two before focusing on his master again.

"Yes ma… sir." Blushing bright red at his slip-up Harry turned and all but ran to his room.

Before the door was even closed he heard his godfather's louder than normal voice;

"This is as much about Harry as it is about _you_ Snivelus, there's no need to send him to his room!"

Harry closed his eyes as he heard his godfather's voice and words. It hurt more than he cared to admit that Sirius was being so mean and harsh with his master. He just hoped his master would sort it out, he always did…

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"If you don't shut your trap right this moment Black, I'll forcibly remove you from my quarters and you will _never_ see your godson again. Is that clear?"

"You can't keep me from seeing my own godson Snape! You have no say in Harry's life and I will make sure that he is as far away from you as possible before I leave this room tonight."

A shattering of what sounded like a glass falling reached their ears and Severus cursed under his breath before he sent a scathing look at Black and turned to Harry's room.

Severus quickly entered the room and shut it just as Black was coming up behind him. The satisfaction of seeing Black's nose squashed was short lived as he saw Harry's petrified frame.

Putting up the silencing charm he had wanted to put up before Black had let his mouth run wild, Severus quickly locked and warded the door and then turned back to Harry.

Holding his arms open in invitation he was gratified when Harry didn't even hesitate to come to him.

"Sshh Harry, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Black, Sirius, doesn't know anything about our relationship and I believe that giving him the knowledge would only worsen his current mood. I won't let him take you if you do not wish it Harry. I promise you that."

Harry raised his head a bit and focused entirely on his Master.

"I don't want to go with him Master. I don't even know him! He's my godfather and it means that I _do_ have a family -of sorts- but I can't go with him, I just can't!"

"You don't have to Harry. Remember what I said; I'm here to take care of you and provide you with what you need. No one will be able to take you from me as we have a signed contract which was willingly signed by both you and me. Nothing can keep me from you if you don't wish is to."

Harry nodded a little uncertainly but he smiled when his Master lifted his face with a finger under his chin.

"You heard what I said before your godfather entered, didn't you?"

"Yes Master." Harry whispered as he once again lowered his eyes. He could still not believe the words he had heard.

"You heard me say 'I love you' and that I'll care for you no matter what. I mean it Harry. I've gotten to know you and love you for who you are Harry. That won't change, no matter what anyone else says."

Harry was once again forced to focus on his Master's face as his chin was lifted up.

"I love you Harry. You _Harry_, the Harry you try so desperately to keep separated from 'Harry James Potter' and 'The-Boy-Who-Lived-Harry', but I love all of you; every aspect which makes up Harry Potter and nothing can change that."

Master Severus placed a gentle kiss on his forehead as he finished but before Harry could even attempt to make sense of all the emotions running through him his Master left the room and closed the door once more.

Harry sank down on his bed with tears in his eyes but also a hopeful smile blossoming on his face. His master loved him, had admitted that he loved him, to his face! Harry relaxed into the bed and closed his eyes with a contented sigh.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Can't you even wait until a silencing charm is erected before you let your tongue loose?"

Severus had put up a silencing charm just as he exited Harry's room as he didn't want another incident such as the one just passed.

"Why would we need a silencing charm? Harry's entitled to hear everything I have to say, I actually _want_ him to hear everything I have to say!"

Severus took a deep breath in order to calm himself and not curse the mutt first before explaining anything to him.

"The silencing charm is not to keep Harry from hearing what I have no doubt will be ridicule upon ridicule from your side about myself, but is to keep _you_ from hurting Harry even more than you've already done."

"_I_ hurt Harry? _I've_ hurt Harry? Just on who's _lap_ did I find him when I entered? What exactly have you done to my godson you perverted beast!?!"

"I assure you that I've done nothing to Harry that he didn't want me to."

"Oh, and that makes me feel _so_ much better." Black sarcastically retorted.

Severus raised a questioning eyebrow. "Just how much faith do you have in your own godson Black if this is all it takes for you to think the worst of him?"

Black flushed as he realized what he'd just insinuated but he didn't back down.

"You two looked just a little too cozy there on the couch for my own comfort. Have you Harry under 'Imperius'? He would _never_ willingly be in your company otherwise, never mind with his head on your _lap_!"

"That just shows how much you know Black. If I trusted you with a wand I'd let you test for yourself that Harry is under no spell but as I don't, trust you that is, you'll just have to take my word for it. Harry might tell you himself why he prefers my company above anyone else's someday but I promise you now, hurt that boy in _any_ way, and you'll have _me_ to deal with."

The fact that Harry was under a spell of Severu's casting was not relevant at the time as it was just for punishment's sake but Black definitely didn't need to know _that_.

Severus had at first worried that the spell would 'kick in' during the Tri-Wizard-Tournament that year but he realized that as Harry had not choice in what he was doing and as Severus was aware of the situation the spell laid dormant.

Black looked between him and the door leading to Harry's room, undecided.

"Go on in Black but if he's asleep and you wake him you'll have to deal with the consequences."

Consequences which Severus knew included Harry choosing him above Black if it should come to that but for Harry's sake, Severus hoped the boy was asleep and stayed that way.

Black entered the room and he looked at his godson for a minute or two before he retreated again.

"Albus has asked Remus and me to gather the 'old crowd' for him, as I'm sure you know. I will leave now but be sure that I will inform the headmaster of what I'd walked in on and that I don't trust you, at all."

Severus just nodded his head in acceptance before he opened the door and practically pushed Black out the door.

As soon as the mutt had left Severus went back to Harry's room and found the boy looking at him with a worried expression.

"You sneaky little bugger. You were awake the whole time, weren't you?"

Harry smiled as his Master entered the room and scooted up to make room.

"No, I woke up as the door opened but I realized that it was someone else and not you. You always walk in a few paces before stopping or you come right up to the bed."

Severus raised his eyebrows at that and realized that Harry was right. That was exactly what he usually did.

"I feigned sleep as I reckoned it was Sirius and I didn't want him to take me away from you. He isn't, is he? Taking me away I mean." Harry realized that he was still apprehensive about the thought and he hoped dearly that that was not the case.

"No Harry, you're not going anywhere."

Harry settled back against the strong chest of his Master as Master Severus moved in behind him and pulled him close.

The soothing circles being rubbed on his arms relaxed Harry to such an extent that he felt like a puddle of goo that would spread in every direction should the strong hold his Master had on him lessen even the tiniest bit.

The hands rubbing his arms stopped suddenly and Harry wanted to protest but remembered his place. His Master had stiffened a bit behind him and as Harry turned a bit to look questioningly at his Master he felt something he had not felt in years.

His Master was half hard behind him and thoughts of what Vernon used to do flashed through Harry's mind.

He didn't even realize he was panicking before two strong arms surrounded him.

"Hush Harry. It's all right. Nothing's going to happen. I promise you. Relax, I'm sorry about this but you remember what I told you about a man's body reacting on its own? Yes, that's what happened now Harry. I'm sorry, I won't do anything, I promise."

Harry relaxed once again at the soothing words but as he tried to settle back against his Master, Master Severus moved out from behind him.

"Just relax Harry. I'm sure you're tired and I myself am ready for bed. Sleep now and we can talk again tomorrow."

Harry had felt a bit rejected when he realized that Master Severus was moving away from him but realized that his Master was probably trying to reassure him that nothing was going to happen; that made him feel a bit better.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus hated lying to Harry but as the truth would have sent the boy running, Severus had opted for what would make Harry feel the safest.

The thoughts which had entered Severus's mind while he rubbed soothing circles on Harry's arms had shocked him. He felt like a pervert for thinking such things of Harry but as they had already made themselves known, it was hard to ignore them.

He knew he would never make reality of those thoughts but just thinking them made his blood run cold. How could he think of such thoughts regarding Harry after everything the boy had been through?

The fact that he was the boy's Master notwithstanding.

He loved the boy, no question about that but he vowed to himself that he would repress any feelings regarding a romantic love until such a time as Harry had healed enough to consciously make a consensual decision regarding their relationship.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

'_Chaos' was the only word Harry could use to describe the scene around him. People were running around without any real destination in mind as they tried to escape the bodies lying on the ground looking at everyone alive with accusing yet lifeless eyes._

_Harry's focus however was focused on one person alone. Master Severus._

_His Master was one of those on the ground and the sword protruding from his chest left little doubt as to whether he was all right or not. 'Dead' was the thought that ran through Harry's mind but he refused to believe it._

_He knelt down next to his Master and hesitantly touched the man's chest. He looked older from where Harry was on his knees next to him._

_Master Severus's eyes opened at Harry's touch to his chest and he looked up at Harry._

"_You never admitted to it you know."_

_Harry didn't know what his Master meant but the accusation in his eyes tore at his heart._

"_You never once told me that you cared for me as much as I do you."_

_Tears leaked down his cheeks as he realized his Master was right. He had never told his master that he cared about him. He had never told the man how much his care and love meant to him._

_Harry opened his mouth to say something, maybe he wanted to confess his own feelings for his Master but he never got the chance. His Master's eyes closed and as Harry's hand was still on his chest he could feel that the surprisingly steady breathing had ceased and that there was no heartbeat to be felt._

Just as Harry thought he'd broke down in sobs and die from heartbreak a voice behind him startled him into looking up.

He found his Master stood in the doorway behind him with a very worried look on his face. His wand was pointed just past Harry and once again he repeated 'Riddiculus'.

The still form of his Master on the floor morphed into one of Professor Dumbledore pleading desperately with a house-elf to help him search for his lost 'false teeth' as Dumbledore seemed to have lost them.

Harry couldn't help but crack a smile at the scene even as tears continued to flow down his cheek.

Master Severus wrapped him in a conjured blanket before wordlessly leading him down to their chambers. Harry didn't even try to correct his thoughts of 'their' chambers to 'his master's' chambers as he was really beginning to think of them as 'theirs'.

As the door closed behind them Harry turned around and buried his face in his Master's robe.

"I do care about you! I do!!" Harry just kept repeating the same thing over and over as his Master led him to the couch and rubbed his back soothingly.

"Ssshh Harry, it's okay. It wasn't real; it was just a Boggart Harry. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, I know! But I never told you how much you mean to me! You died before I could tell you that I care about you, I really, really care!"

"I know Harry. Thank you for telling me now. No need to worry about that anymore Harry as I'm here, alive and well and you've just told me that you care about me. That means a lot to me Harry. Thank you."

Harry didn't know what else to say and so just kept repeating that he did care about his Master and thanking his Master for everything he had done for him.

Eventually he fell asleep with the strong presence of his Master around him and the knowledge that his dreams of being rejected as soon as he expressed his feelings for his Master to the man were not becoming a reality.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The scene which Severus had entered to when he had gone looking for Harry was not one he had ever expected to see.

The sight of him lying dead before a distraught Harry was one he hoped he would never have to see again and one he prayed would never come to fruition as he would never want to be the cause of Harry looking that devastated again.

A thought which had been running through his mind ever since he had seen the brand Vernon Dursley had placed on Harry returned and he felt that it might be a good time to discuss this with Harry.

There was no doubt in his mind that Dursley had branded Harry against his will and that the 'mark of ownership' was one that Harry wished had never been given.

A salve he had made years ago in the hope to rid himself of his own 'mark of ownership' might just work for Harry and Severus knew he would do everything in his power to find those notes again and make the potion for Harry.

Hours passed by which felt like minutes to Severus as he searched drawer after drawer for his notes and just as Harry emerged from the kitchen with breakfast for the both of them, Severus held the notes up triumphantly. He hadn't even noticed Harry waking or making breakfast and cursed himself for his inattention.

"Morning Master, I've made you some breakfast."

"Thank you Harry and good morning to you too. Would you join me this morning, there's something I would like to discuss with you?"

"Yes Master." Harry replied as he sat himself next to Master Severus.

"I have told you how I feel about you Harry and last night you also told me your own feelings. Know that that means a lot to me and I can't thank you enough for showing me just how much I mean to you. I feel that you've come a long way since first year and that you could admit your feelings to me even when you expected rejection means a lot."

"I've told you what I think of your previous _master_ and what he did to you Harry. That he was and is a sick man for what he did. I don't however; hate any part of the Harry which he had molded. I could never hate anything about you, be it your personality or your physical appearance or marks you bear."

"I would like to offer you the option to rid yourself of the only physical evidence you have left of your old master. Yes, the brand on your back. I have a salve that I have no doubt would erase it completely and you will be rid of the man once and for all."

Plans of ridding not only Harry but the whole world of any trace of the man named Vernon Dursley formed in his head but Severus pushed them to the back of his mind. He would deal with them at another time.

Severus could tell that even though Harry was somewhat exited of being rid of the brand on his back there was something else bothering the boy.

Harry answered the silent question without any prompt.

"But then I… I.. won't, won't belong anymore. To anyone. I want to belong to someone and V.. Vernon used to say that I belonged to him because of the… the.. mark."

The ramblings were beginning to fall into place in Severus's mind and he looked at Harry with a contemplative expression.

"Would you like for me to give you physical evidence of how much I care for you Harry? Would you like me to show you just how much you mean to me and that no one will be able to take you way as long as you wish to stay with me?"

Harry looked both frightened and exited about the prospect and Severus vowed that whatever he decided, he would not brand the boy in any way. Ever.

"Thank you master." Was all Harry could say and Severus nodded once to him before exited their quarters.

Harry didn't ask where he was going and only made his way to his room where he settled on his bed with a Sixth year Potions book.

An hour later the door to his room opened and Harry looked up to find Master Severus looking down at him.

Harry wordlessly moved over to make room for his Master and relaxed immediately as strong arms wrapped around him.

"I've told you that I love you a few times now but I never want you to forget it Harry. I love you with all my heart and wish you only the best in life, wherever you find that."

Harry listened attentively as he could hear his Master was as serious but sincere as he had ever been.

Something was placed in his hand and Harry looked down to find what looked like a collar in his hand.

Master Severus lifted Harry's hand with one of his own and held the leather collar on eye level for Harry to read.

"_My little Harry. I love you and always will. Master Severus."_

The inscription was on the inside of the collar and Harry felt his heart constrict as he knew that the words were meant for him and him alone. No one else would see it if Harry didn't wish them to know but he would know they were there.

"I've charmed it so that it turns invisible as soon as you put it on but you will still be able to feel it and you will always know that it's there and what it says. You will know that I love you and care for you every minute of the day."

The lump which had formed in Harry's throat when he had first read the words had still not diminished and Harry didn't trust himself to speak at the moment.

Turning around Harry threw his arms around Master Severus and just held him tight knowing that his Master would know what Harry was trying to express without words.

The arms around him tightened a bit before Master Severus held him at arms length. A gentle kiss was placed on his forehead and Harry realized just how much that small gesture was becoming to mean to him.

Master Severus held his hand over the one in which Harry held the collar questioningly and Harry nodded to his Master.

The collar was taken out of his hands and sure fingers fastened it around his neck before Master Severus conjured up a mirror.

"Think hard on the collar and you will be able to see it."

Harry did as told and found himself looking back at him wearing the collar proudly. Master Severus was also looking at him over his shoulder and Harry felt a shiver run through his spine as Master Severus bent down and kissed the collar lightly.

Harry smiled reassuringly at his Master when the man looked up at him and Harry realized that it was apprehension he saw in his Master's eyes.

"Thank you Master Severus." Harry said sincerely to the reflection in the mirror as the arms around him prevented him from turning around.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"This book is complete 'crap' compared to the one in your quarters Professor."

Harry whined as he paged through the Defence Against the Dark Arts book they were assigned for the year.

"Whining about it won't help you at all Potter so I suggest you put it in your cart along with all the other books and we can get them paid for."

Master Severus was beginning to sound a little impatient with Harry and so he quickly put the book in with all the other books before making his way over to the Transfiguration section and selecting the correct book for that year.

Some other books caught his attention and Harry startled at the low growl coming from behind him.

"Sorry mas… Professor." Harry quickly said as he realized he was once again taking up more of his Master's time.

Draco's face suddenly appeared around one of the bookcases and he looked between Harry and Professor Snape with a bewildered expression.

Harry cursed himself for his slip-up and shot an apologetic look to his Master who was looking murderous.

Harry just hoped that he would be able to diffuse the situation before it could escalate into anything potentially incriminating.

"Hi Draco, sorry I can't stay long but Professor Snape has a potion brewing at the castle and we have to go now. I'll talk to you at school."

The excuse was lame and he knew it but there was nothing else he could think of at the moment.

Draco gave him a frown before he acquiesced to Harry's silent plea. "Yes, we _will_ talk when we go back to school Harry. I guarantee it."

Harry swallowed past the nervous lump that had formed and quickly followed his master over to the pay point and they continued with the rest of their shopping.

Master Severus didn't say anything but Harry knew that his master was not happy with his slip-up and that Master Severus knew Draco as well if not better than Harry did and there was no doubt that the boy would figure it out sooner or later.

Harry just hoped that Draco would be able to keep it secret as he didn't want to cause his master any problems.

**End chapter 9**

**Chapter 10: Unintentional pain**

Harry sat on his bed and mindlessly paged through the book on his lap. Master Severus had sent him to his room the minute they had returned from Diagon Alley and Harry was feeling absolutely terrible. He knew deep down that his Master would not send him away for his little slip or do anything to hurt him but just knowing that he had put his Master in potential danger was weighing heavy on Harry's mind.

The charms book he had grabbed when he had entered his room was more than halfway through already but Harry had not read a single word.

The door to his room was slightly ajar and as such Harry heard the headmaster enter and conversing softly with his Master.

"Sirius was in quite a state when he came up to me after his little visit to your quarters Severus. He was adamant about the fact that he had found you and Harry in a compromising position, something about Harry being on your _lap_ Severus?"

Harry had heard that tone in the headmasters voice a few times and knew that the man was disappointed in his Master. Why that was, Harry had no idea.

"Of course he would portray it in such a way as to incriminate me in the worst possible way Albus! That mutt has had it in for me since our school days and he will stop at nothing to have me out of his life completely."

"I believe you're stalling Severus."

The headmaster now sounded quite disappointed and Harry had to wonder if it was because his Master and his godfather didn't get along exactly or something else.

"Harry had been a bit distraught about something Albus and had just been drifting off to sleep with his head rested on my lap when that mutt had stormed into my quarters. I believe I forgot to thank you for that Albus, it was such a nice surprise to see Black entering my quarters as if we were the best of friends and I gave my password out to anyone who asked nicely enough."

Sarcasm dripped from his voice and Harry had to marvel at the fact that his Master was speaking to the _headmaster_ in such a way.

The fact that the headmaster just smiled serenely at his Master before conjuring a tray with tea and some cookies make his head spin.

The two older men moved out of his line of sight and Harry suppressed a sigh as he knew he would now only be able to hear bits and pieces of what they spoke.

"So Harry is settling in fine?" The headmaster enquired in a soft yet carrying voice.

'Absurd' popped into Harry's head and he had to suppress a giggle as he thought that that had sounded a bit too much like his Master's voice. He had been with his Master for four years now!! Of course he had settled in!

"I believe that you have regressed into asking redundant questions Albus."

"Of course, of course, I must admit that the years have passed by without me really noticing."

Harry could hear his Master snort and only because the man spoke a bit louder than usual did Harry hear his reply.

"The day that you fail to notice anything happening in this school is the day Voldemort appears before us in diapers with bottle in hand and calling you 'dada'."

The headmaster laughed softly and Harry couldn't help but smile himself.

The conversation drifted to a more normal level and Harry realized that it was futile to try and listen in as he would only be able to catch words that were emphasized.

Harry forced himself to actually concentrate on what he was reading and was in the middle of the second chapter in the Charms book when he was shocked out of his thoughts by his Master's raised voice.

"How exactly did you know just _why_ Harry had been short for his age when he had first entered Hogwarts?"

"Now Severus, there is no need for you to get so worked up. Settle down, have some tea."

"I will ask you again Albus; how did you know? I never mentioned that to _anyone_. Poppy knew that he had not been living in the ideal home situation but even she didn't know that it was because Harry had lived in a cupboard for most of his life and on little to no food that caused him to be so small for his age. How did you know about the cupboard?"

The headmaster sighed and Harry could see that they had once again moved closer to the door leading outside.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that Severus and no, I would never intentionally put Harry in unnecessary danger. Believe me when I say that I had had no idea what Vernon Dursley had done to Harry before he entered Hogwarts."

His Master was now standing in Harry's line of sight and the expression on his face sent a shiver down his spine.

"I will see you at the feast Albus. Good day."

"Good day to you too Severus. Know that I only do what I feel is best for everyone involved."

"The fact that for you 'everyone involved' is the whole of the Wizarding World is by no means reassuring for me Albus."

"I have faith in you Severus and in what you can and have done for that boy."

"Good. Day. Albus."

Harry hastily brought his attention back to his book as his Master closed the door behind the headmaster.

The door to his room opened completely and Harry skimmed his eyes over paragraph after paragraph.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

That which Albus had said and that which he hadn't had not gone unnoticed by Severus.

The fact that he had only cleared himself of any blame pertaining to _Vernon_ Dursley was making Severus's blood boil. Even though most if not all of Harry's physical scars were because of that.. that… _animal_, didn't mean that the worst damage had been done by him.

Love, of any kind, was vital in the upbringing of a healthy, care-free child, and Harry had none growing up. The abuse suffered at the hands of his uncle was despicable in itself but the negligence on his aunt's side was just as bad if not worse.

Any child craved the love and care of a parent figure and to have one actively abusing you while the other just watches on and does nothing was sickening.

Severus entered Harry's room and the way the boy was focused solely on his book, not even acknowledging Severus's presence was a dead giveaway that Harry had heard some of what had been said.

"You can stop pretending to read Harry; I know you heard some of what were said out there."

Harry looked up at him with a slightly guilty look.

"It's not really your fault Harry as we should have put up a silencing charm or at least made sure that your door was closed."

Harry relaxed minutely and put his book on his bedside table as he made space for Severus to sit.

"I doubt that you really understood anything we said but just in case you're needlessly worrying; I'm not mad at you for anything. Clear?"

Harry smiled in relief and replied; "Yes Master."

"Good. Now, it's still relatively early and seeing as this is your last day of 'freedom', you are free to do anything you wish. Just let me know if you decide to go outside and make sure that someone knows where you are at all times, be it in the library or the great hall."

"Yes Master."

"What are you waiting for? Get!!"

Harry jumped up from the bed and hugged Severus for a moment before he dashed out the door. Severus was just exiting Harry's room when the boy's voice rang from behind the closing door of their quarters.

"I'm going to the kitchens!!"

Severus just shook his head and took the notes for the salve he had found. Exiting their quarters, Severus made his way to his lab and summoned a house elf while he walked.

"Keep an eye on young Mr Potter for me and be sure to let me know when he leaves the kitchens."

"Yes sir, Professor Sir. Twinkle will let sir know."

"Good. Keep a low profile though, you are dismissed."

"Yes Professor sir. Thank you sir."

Severus entered his lab with the reassurance that Harry couldn't get into _too_ much trouble without him knowing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The first of September was on a Sunday but even though Harry knew he could sit with his Master during the feast he decided not to.

The tingling he could still feel in his shoulder made him smile a little. Master Severus had made him the salve he had promised and Harry was finally for once and for all rid of any physical reminders of his days as Vernon Dursley's 'pet'.

Harry could still not believe how his life had turned but was forever grateful for having Master Severus.

Harry brought his thoughts back to the present and waited on the confrontation that was sure to come.

There was no use in delaying the inevitable 'talk' he'd have with Draco and he found that he would rather get it settled now than wait until he had worked himself into such a state that he'd confess more than he wanted to.

Students filtered into the room and Harry could see a flash of shock cross Draco's face as his eyes landed on Harry but it was quickly schooled behind a blank mask.

"Evening Harry."

"Good evening Draco. Had a pleasant Summer?"

"It was satisfactory thank you. How about you?" Harry had to lean in closer as Draco dropped his voice to a whisper. "You and your Master have a good holiday?"

Harry looked Draco in the eye to ascertain the blonde's mood and sincerity. When he could find no trace of disdain or scorn, Harry decided to answer truthfully.

"Yes thank you. I believe it was the best yet except for when someone else also found out what you now know and got the wrong impression."

"There _is_ a wrong impression?"

Harry sent a scathing look his way before calmly replying.

"Yes there is. This is however, neither the time nor the place to talk about it. We can talk after the feast. Meet me in the Potions classroom after everyone is dismissed."

Draco nodded and the rest of the feast passed by with idle chatter and stories of what everyone did over the holidays.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"I had thought there was something funny between you and Professor Snape after your first slip a year or so ago."

"There's nothing _funny_ between us as you put it. Professor Snape takes care of me. He gives me guidance and help when I need it. He cares for my wellbeing and is always there when I need him."

Draco looked at him curiously for a moment.

"Professor Snape had always been a man to stand by his morals. I can see that he would not do anything to incriminate either himself or you in any way. You are indeed lucky Harry, to have him for a master. Some people are not as lucky as you to have someone who truly cares about _you_ and not your body. And no, don't worry, I'm not talking out of experience, just of knowledge my father have imparted on me."

Harry looked away from the blonde as he nodded his head. Yes, he was indeed lucky to have Master Severus now but everything which had happened to him at the hands of others would always stay with him. No need to let Draco know that though so Harry quickly changed the subject to something less serious.

"What do you think about the new Defence Professor?"

Draco snorted inelegantly before giving Harry a disbelieving look.

"She's going to be the worst yet! It might be easy to wrap her around your pinky finger but I can just bet that she's going to work on my nerves by the end of the first day already."

Draco looked a bit lost in thought before he continued.

"I wonder if mum would agree to send me some 'killer throats', maybe if I give her some she'd really have a reason to clear her throat so often."

Harry gave him a questioning look and the blonde explained.

"'Killer throats' is a misleading name. You may think that it will 'kill' or 'numb' your throat if you had some scratching but what it actually is, is a lozenge that gives you a 'killer throat', as in, you will have sores and scratches and everything."

Harry laughed at the thought of giving their new teacher one of those but quickly sobered as he realized that he had just thought of 'hurting' someone else. He never wanted to hurt someone else intentionally!!

Their conversation drifted to more mundane things and Harry was shocked when he realized that he only had five minutes to make it back to his Master's quarters before the man would come looking for him.

"Sorry Draco, I have to go. Professor Snape will be looking for me soon if I'm not back in time."

"Night Harry. Thanks for the talk."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Harry had forgotten about the spell Master Severus had put on him at the beginning of the previous year and as such he couldn't help but wince when the pain of two sharp spanks registered in his brain.

The fact that he was sitting down at the time made it that much worse and Harry bit his lip to contain a gasp. Whether it was one of surprise or pain he wasn't sure.

It was Harry's second night of detention with his Defence Professor and he realized that his decision _not_ to tell his master about what exactly the detention entailed was the wrong one.

He had thought that because nothing had happened the previous evening – other than his blood leaking through a quill onto a parchment – that he would just have to endure the tedious detentions.

Thoughts that maybe he should have told his Master what the b..witch made him do during detention was a bit belated now though and so Harry forced himself to endure the detention.

Every time Harry wrote the sentence "I must not tell lies", his determination to not mention it to his master dwindled until he realized that he would _have to_ tell his master about it, if only to get some soothing cream for his burning bums. The spankings had continued with each sentence written and Harry knew for certain that his Master would _not_ have wanted him to suffer at the hands of the woman anymore than absolutely necessary.

By the time Umbridge gave him leave, Harry's legs were shaking and his hand was hurting from both writing and from the words carved into his skin.

Harry made it to their quarters but only just and as soon as he entered he sank down to the floor.

His Master had looked up at his entrance and was at his side in a second.

"What's wrong Harry? What happened?"

Harry just sucked in gulps of air as he fought to keep tears from his eyes.

Master Severus was looking so worried that Harry didn't know which would be better. To confess the truth and worry the man even more about Harry's current condition or to keep silent and let the man worry about what had happened and why Harry didn't want to say anything.

The pain in his hand and on his bum decided for him and Harry presented his bloodied hand to his Master wordlessly.

"Who. Did. This?"

Harry had never heard his Master's voice quite this cold and he shivered involuntarily.

"Professor Umbrige."

"You mean to tell me that a Professor of this school tortured a student right under the nose of the headmaster and every other Professor."

"Yes Master."

Master Severus led Harry over to the sofa but even though Harry tried to sit as lightly as possible he couldn't suppress a wince of pain.

Harry looked up as Master Severus drew in a sharp breath. The horrified look on his Master's face was something that Harry wouldn't soon forget.

"Stand up Harry."

Complying, Harry wordlessly turned around while taking off his robe and bit his lip as Master Severus gently lowered his trousers.

"Oh Harry. I'm so sorry. I never meant for something like this to happen."

Master Severus's hand gently traced the redness on Harry's abused backside and when Harry turned to look back at his Master he was startled to see tears in the black depths.

A quick summoning charm later Harry was asked to lie down on the couch and Master Severus gently rubbed soothing cream into the red flesh. Harry sighed contently as the pain eased and was startled out of his relaxed mindset when he felt a tingle on his buttocks. When he saw his Master leaning over him with his wand in hand Harry realized that he had either removed the charm or adjusted it some.

Before Harry could ask however, Master Severus pulled him up again and Harry quickly re-clothed himself.

Strong arms dragged him back against a solid chest and Harry settled back on his Master's lap as his hand was taken in a gentle grip and the cream applied there too.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I will talk to the headmaster tomorrow and you will not spend another detention with that _woman_. You are also free to leave at anytime you wish Harry. I never meant to hurt you like this but if you don't feel safe or that you can trust me anymore, I won't force you to stay."

Harry turned around on his Master's lap and threw his arms around the man's neck.

"No Master. I know that you never meant for this to happen. _You_ weren't the one who hurt me, Umbrige did. I also hurt myself because I didn't tell you about what she made me do after the first detention last night. It was more my own fault than yours. I don't want to leave you. I don't."

Harry was gratified to realize that the arms around him tightened and did not push him away.

He would stay with his master. He liked their relationship too much to do anything to jeopardize it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus woke up to a sound he never wanted to hear again. It was a scream of both fear and terror and it was coming from Harry's room.

He was out the door and in Harry's room before he had even opened both eyes. Sitting down beside the thrashing boy Severus reached out a hand to shake the shoulder but somehow ended up with dragging Harry into his lap. He gently rocked the boy back and forth while whispering soothing words in his ear.

Harry woke a while later and he blurrily focused his eyes on his Master.

Severus was quite shocked when the boy immediately threw himself at Severus and sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder. Severus could just make out the words Harry was saying through the sobs. "You're alive. You're here. You're alive." He kept repeating them over and over again.

They sat like that for a while and it took Severus the better part of two hours to extract everything from Harry and once he did he cursed himself for forgetting a promise he had made to himself long ago. He needed to teach the boy Occlumency, and soon.

The hallway Harry described was not one that Severus knew but he had a feeling that it was one that led to the Department of Mysteries. Voldemort clearly wanted Harry to find the prophecy and then extract the information from his mind. Severus would just have to do everything in his power to prevent that from happening.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry was so frustrated and disgusted with himself that he was close to tears. Occlumency lessons with Master Severus were going really well. The man showed patience Harry had never seen before when he taught Harry just how to clear his mind and Harry had a feeling that he man still felt guilty about what the spell had done at the beginning of the year.

Occlumency however, didn't keep normal dreams at bay and that was where Harry's frustration lay at the moment.

He had once again seen some of the other students with little to no clothes on, on return to their quarters the previous evening and his dreams that night had been truly troubling.

He had dreamed of strong, sure hands rubbing his hard prick and making him feel things he had never dreamed of feeling. The fact that he had awoken to find that his prick was really as hard as it had been in the dream and freaked him out and when ignoring it didn't make it go away Harry felt like he was going to either faint or burst into tears.

Harry didn't know how long he sat there on the bed trying to think of anything but the dream – which of course didn't work and only made him think more on it – before his master entered the room. Harry wanted to put his head under the pillow in humiliation but he couldn't move.

"Why aren't you ready Harry? Breakfast is in ten minutes. Are you not feeling well?"

Harry was blushing bright red as he thought of why exactly he wasn't ready yet and Master Severus quickly understood.

"You can't always just ignore it Harry. It is a natural reaction by your body and _nothing_ about it makes you a freak or abnormal. Every boy your age goes through this Harry. You have to find release sometime or it could truly become detrimental to your health. I'm not going to show you how to pleasure yourself as I had promised not to do anything sexual with you but I can _tell_ you. You will eventually find what is most pleasurable for you but at the beginning, start with taking a firm grip of your prick with your right hand."

Harry blushed bright red as his Master explained what to do. His horrified expression soon morphed into one of fascination as his Master explained just what he could do and exactly how it felt. He had never thought of 'fondling' with his balls before and found it fascinating that his master could explain everything in such detail. The way his Master explained the feeling of release when you 'climaxed' as he called it, caused Harry's prick to give and involuntary jerk and he hastily pulled the pillow from behind him and covered his lap. He was embarrassed enough as it was!

His Master made no indication that he had even noticed what Harry was doing and was very grateful for that.

When his master had left the room Harry tentatively reached down and pulled off his boxers. He did as his Master had explained and realized that it felt exactly how his Master have said it would and soon he was arching off the bed and gasping his release.

The reality of what he had just done dawned on Harry then and he couldn't help but look around frantically to make sure that no one was there to condemn him for being freaky or a monster.

Hastily donning his school robes and some every day clothes Harry met his master in the lounge and was grateful beyond words when his master didn't even smirk or show any other emotion when he surely knew just what Harry had done.

"Come, were late for breakfast. Best not keep the headmaster waiting any longer."

Harry nodded quickly and grabbed his book-bag before following his Master out the door.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry didn't know what exactly his Master had done but he had never again received a detention from Professor Umbrige after that disastrous second one. The woman didn't even _look_ at him in class anymore.

Draco had also noticed the change in attitude but he had thankfully not asked any questions. Now, almost at the end of the year Harry found himself in her class but with a burning pain building up in his forehead.

His Occlumency shields were up as strong as he could make them but either Voldemort was very determined to get into his mind or he was just sending Harry once heck of a headache. Whatever it was, Harry didn't think he could escape this lesson without receiving a detention from the woman. Class had only just started and Harry decided that it was better to be safe than sorry. Raising his hand and asking permission to go to the Hospital Wing as he wasn't feeling good Harry was gratified when the Professor just waved him out with a curt nod.

Harry made his way to their quarters rather than the Hospital Wing as he didn't want to answer any questions which were sure to come from the medi-witch.

A quick rummage through the potions cabinet in the kitchen and Harry had a headache relieving potion. Closing his eyes and making sure that his Occlumency shields were up Harry settled back into the couch and promptly fell asleep.

He didn't know how many hours had passed before his Master entered the rooms. Master Severus looked Harry over once before nodding and closing the door behind him.

"I'm glad to see you're not hurt but I'm curious as to why you missed half of your classes Harry?"

"I'm sorry Master but my head was hurting a lot. I don't know if Voldemort, sorry The Dark Lord, was trying really hard to get into my head or if he was just sending me a headache. Whatever it was, it certainly worked on getting me out of class and giving me a headache."

Master Severus nodded his head at Harry's explanation and took his seat as Harry made room for him on the couch.

"I believe that it could have been either of those scenarios or even both. I will tell you something now Harry but you must promise to never reveal this to anyone. Do I have your word?"

"Yes Master, I promise not to tell anyone."

"Good. I overheard a prophecy which was made some time before your birth. I didn't hear the whole of the prophecy as someone saw me and pointed me out as an eavesdropper. I'm afraid to say that at that time I had still been in the service of the Dark Lord and had gone to him with the information as soon as I'd been kicked out."

Harry nodded at his Master to show that he was listening.

"I've learned the rest of the prophecy since then however and it is a prophecy about _you_ Harry. I believe that the visions you experienced at the beginning of the year were that of the Department of Mysteries where the original Prophecy resides. The Dark Lord had probably wanted you to go after the prophecy before he himself went after you, prophecy now unprotected."

"I will tell you the prophecy Harry as I think it is important for you to know but remember one thing; prophecies does _not_ dictate your life and does not always come to fruition. Do not let the knowledge of what destiny has in store for you rule your life. You are a being of free will and as long as you exercise that free will, anything can happen."

"I understand Master. If you think that it would be better not to tell me the prophecy I will understand."

"No Harry, I think you need to know but remember that the prophecy should _not_ decide your fate for you."

"Yes Master."

Harry listened attentively as his Master related the prophecy to him word for word. He could honestly say that he had expected worse. The way his Master had gone on before the prophecy had made Harry think that he was going to have to choose between scrubbing cauldrons out with a toothbrush for the rest of his life or becoming once again what he had once been for Vernone Dursley.

Death had always been a given, in any situation and it didn't scare Harry, not really. Vernon Dursley could evoke more fear in Harry in one night than the knowledge of the prophecy could evoke in a whole lifetime.

**End Chapter 10**

So, what did you think? I know it's different from the books but that's why this is _my_ fic and not a retelling of JK's works.

If you want to read the R and in later chapters NC-17 version of the fic, look for it on HPFandom or think this chapter is about R rated there…

Please review and tell me what you think!!!


	7. Strong willed or not?

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**Important AN:** The fic will from this point onward deviate quite a lot from the books as I just can't bring what happened in HBP into this fic in quite that same way – if you know what I mean. Some things might still happen though….

_Harry listened attentively as his Master related the prophecy to him word for word. He could honestly say that he had expected worse. The way his Master had gone on before the prophecy had made Harry think that he was going to have to choose between scrubbing cauldrons out with a toothbrush for the rest of his life or becoming once again what he had once been for Vernon Dursley._

_Death had always been a given, in any situation and it didn't scare Harry, not really. Vernon Dursley could evoke more fear in Harry in one night than the knowledge of the prophecy could evoke in a whole lifetime._

**Chapter 11: Strong willed or not?**

Exams were upon them and Harry realized with shock that it was not just any exams anymore but his OWL's. He wasn't really worried about it as he was already busy with some sixth year books but just knowing that he was about to write exams that could decide his future knocked him off his feet.

Master Severus had not been spending as much time with Harry for the past month as he usually did and Harry began to feel a bit left out.

The knowledge of the prophecy was kept at the back of his brain but he didn't dwell on it as he knew that it was inevitable and nothing he did could change the words. He could just hope that he could change the outcome for the better.

His Master was busy with his own preparations for each year's exams and Harry could really not fault him for the decrease in time they spent together.

The hurt he felt was lessened slightly by Draco. Harry was spending more time with the blonde boy than ever before. They had even begun to study together and Harry found the time that the two spent in the library just reading very relaxing.

The first OWL they had went by in a flash and Harry felt that he had done really well if not Outstanding. The week passed by in a blur and by the time Saturday had rolled around Harry was exhausted. His exams were mostly finished; he just had Potions practical to get through and History of Magic.

Harry stood up from where he had been sitting at a table in the library to stretch his legs. Draco looked up at him from his own book and gave Harry a small smile.

Something weird was going on with Draco but Harry didn't know _what_.

The boy had been giving Harry some odd looks for a while now and Harry couldn't help but be a bit apprehensive about it.

"I'm going back to my rooms, I'm sure my m.. Professor Snape would be worried if I don't turn up soon." Harry said as he smiled and waved at Draco.

Master Severus was already in their quarters when Harry arrived but any scolding he might have received was stopped as Harry quickly explained where he'd been and what he'd been doing.

After bidding his Master good night Harry made his way to the bathroom where he enjoyed a nice hot shower before retiring to bed.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning Harry woke to find their quarters empty but a note from his Master explaining that he had some potions to make for the hospital wing and a detention to oversee.

Harry knew that he shouldn't expect his Master back for hours and so he settled down with his 'History' book to read… er study.

Master Severus entered their rooms just as Harry sat down with a nice warm cup of tea three hours later. The man looked a bit worse for wear and Harry wordlessly shifted up on the couch to make room for his Master before deciding that maybe what his Master needed was a nice cup of tea himself.

Harry returned a minute later but as he went to give it to his Master he found him stretched out on the couch snoring lightly.

A giggle escaped his lips and Harry put a hand before his mouth. He had never seen his Master sleep before and the scene was so surreal that Harry couldn't help but laugh. His Master had seen him sleep of course; heck he'd held Harry while he slept but Harry himself had never had a chance to see his Master just _sleep_.

He sobered quickly though as he realized that his Master really had to have been exhausted to just drift off like that – and on the couch no less!! Making his way over to the cupboard next to the entrance to his rooms, Harry extracted a blanket and gently tucked it around his Master's frame.

Harry just stood there and looked at his Master for a while before turning and going to his room. He didn't really know what to do as there was not way in hell he'd study one more minute of 'History' and as there was no lab in their quarters he couldn't practice his potions.

That left only one option; go and find Draco.

Harry silently slipped from there quarters and made his way down to the Slytherin common rooms. Asking the portrait to please open up, Harry entered and looked around for Draco.

Some Slytherins looked at him wearily while others just chose to ignore him. Draco spotted him as he walked in the middle of the room and he quickly ushered Harry outside.

"How did you get in there?" Draco demanded as soon as they were outside again.

Harry looked at him as if he'd grown a second head. How did he get in there? Through the portrait of course!

"Through the portrait Draco. Why?"

"Prat! Of course it was through the portrait, what I'd like to know is where did you find out the password? Professor Snape didn't give it to you, did he?"

"Noo…"

"I thought not, he knows better than that, even if it's you. So then, how did you get in?"

"I asked it to open for me."

"You _asked_ it to open?"

"Yes."

"And it opened." It was more of a question and Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Of course it did, how else did I get inside?"

"It's not supposed to just open if you ask it nicely!!"

"Well, it did!"

"Come with me."

The two retraced their steps to the Slytherin common rooms and Draco stopped in front of the portrait.

"Watch."

"Open"

Nothing happened.

"Well, I did ask it to _please_ open up."

"Oh for the love of… Open up.. _please_"

Nothing happened.

"See! Now how did you get in here? And no more lies!!!"

"I'm _not_ lying!!" Harry turned to the portrait and once again asked it to please open up, which it did.

Harry turned triumphantly to Draco who was looking at him with an incredulous expression.

"Oh, this just keeps getting better and better!"

"What does?" Harry was perplexed now and didn't know what to do. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to come find Draco after all.

"What does?! What does???? You, you imbecile!! Do you have any idea what this means?"

Fed up with half answers and just useless nattering, Harry turned around and began his trek back to his Master's quarters.

"Harry!! Where are you going? Don't you dare leave me here after all this!"

"Draco, if you don't start talking sense I will go, so for the last time; what has you so exited all of a sudden?"

"You Harry! You're a Parslemouth and you never told me!"

"I'm not a Parslemouth."

Harry had heard and read about Parslemouths but he wasn't one! Was he? No, no, he wasn't.

"Oh, and just what do you think it means when you hiss at a portrait, I presume you asked it to open, and it _did_!!"

Harry stopped in his tracks as the words penetrated his muddled brain. He had i hissed /i at a portrait. _Hissed!!_

"I think I have to sit down."

"Come on Harry, let's just go to one of the classrooms here and then you can sit down."

Harry complied wordlessly and followed Draco like a lost puppy.

"I'm a Parslemouth?"

"Yes, yes you are."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know exactly but I hazard a guess that after what you just showed me with the Slytherin entrance, you can open most doors down here where Salazar Slytherin had made his domain with just a whispered 'open' in Parsletounge."

The two boys explored this new revelation and soon found quite a few secret passages. Unfortunately only two of the six they found could be opened by a set password in normal English so Draco only had access to those two should he be alone and not with Harry when he went exploring again.

By lunch time they were both sweaty from running around in the dungeons and Harry made his way to his Master's – their – quarters with Draco in tow.

The sight that greeted him when he opened to door stopped him in his tracks.

Master Severus was pacing back and forth in front of the fire and Harry could make out the head of the headmaster in the fire.

"I don't _know_ where he could be Albus!!"

Harry had a sinking feeling in his stomach that his master was talking about him and that the man had worried about him for quite a while now.

Silently showing to Draco that he should leave Harry closed the door behind him after the Slytherin had exited.

His Master turned around at the sound of the door closing and before Harry even knew what was happening the man had lifted him off the floor in a bone crushing hug.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the fire glow green a second before going back to the normal orange flames that he was used to.

Master Severus quickly regained his composure and held Harry at arms length to check him over. After assuring himself that Harry was fine his expression turned furious.

"Where _have_ you been?"

Harry couldn't help but cringe back a bit as he had never seen Master Severus quite this angry at him before but he stood his ground.

"I went to the Slytherin common rooms and then Draco and I went exploring a bit, down here in the dungeons. We didn't go outside, I swear!"

"Be that as it may, you should have _told_ me!"

"You were asleep and I didn't want to disturb you. You looked like you needed the rest. I'm sorry Master but I just didn't want to stay here cooped up in the rooms the whole day."

"Next time you have my permission to wake me or _at least_ tell one of the Professors where you're going. You're going to be the death of me, I promise you that."

Harry smiled a bit before leaning up and giving his Master a hug. He was glad the man wasn't _too_ angry with him.

"Okay brat, lunch now and then we can go to the lab and you can practice some potions."

Grinning, Harry made his way to the kitchens where he quickly put together some sandwiches and the two settled on the couch where they ate in companionable silence.

The rest of the weekend went by without anymore 'distressing' incidents.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry plopped down on the couch unceremoniously where he kicked off his shoes and laid down to rest his eyes, just for a bit. It had been a long day and with exams finally over Harry just wanted to relax.

When his Master shook his shoulder an undeterminable time later Harry shot awake and couldn't help but look at his Master with both relief and concern evident in his eyes.

He had the weirdest dream while he slept and checked his Occlumency shields just to make sure that it hadn't been a 'little present' from Voldemort himself, but no, his shields were up and it had just been his own imagination giving him the scare of his life.

"Wake up Harry. You slept straight through dinner last night, you must have been exhausted but I won't let you miss another meal. Up, get dressed; we're going into Hogsmead this morning where we'll eat breakfast at the 'Three Broomsticks'. The headmaster had declared today a 'Hogsmead' day so everyone else will also be there."

Harry nodded quickly and even though his mind kept replaying his dream Harry pushed it aside in favor of anticipation for what he hoped would be a nice day out with his Master.

--------------------

"Come, you've had enough Butterbeers for today. It's best to get back to the castle before nightfall."

Harry looked up from his conversation with Draco and they both nodded in ascent.

A tingling feeling in his forehead was the only warning he got as half a dozen or so Death Eaters appeared before their eyes.

His Master had stiffened beside him and Draco was looking around wildly in panic. Screams resounded in the air and soon pandemonium had broken out.

"Well, well, well, what _do_ we have here? Ickle baby Potty at the mercy of 6, no 7 Death Eaters and a Death Eater in training. Oh, the odds doesn't look good does it, maybe we should send word to our Master?"

Snickering could be heard from most of the Death Eaters but his Master kept by his side and Draco looked like he didn't know whether to run and hide, fight with Harry and face his father's wrath or fight against Harry and loose the only real friend he'd ever had.

The person whom had spoken was definitely a woman and Harry wasn't sure if he should fear the fact that she sounded a bit insane or be thankful for it.

Sanity usually helped a person in a worst case scenario.

"Grab him Snape and we'll present him to our Master, maybe you'll be able to escape his wrath after all. He's not exactly happy with you at the moment."

Harry recognized the voice and surreptitiously glanced at Draco to see that he had stiffened and was looking anywhere but at the Death Eaters.

"I think not Lucius. If I have to choose between an insane maniac and a decent human being, albeit a young boy, I'd take my chances with the one in full capacity of his mind."

A screech like a banshee rang in the air and Harry was just in time to step in front of his Master as the woman who had first spoken charge them with a dagger in hand.

The sting in his shoulder left little doubt that she had succeeded in stabbing him but he had endured worse at the hands of Vernon and just smirked at her when he raised his wand and shouted a blasting curse.

Unfortunately for Harry, the woman quickly regained her composure and an all out fight broke loose. Harry could see his Master battling with two of the Death Eaters and just as he thought that he was done for as he would have to face the other four, Professors from the school came rushing at the group and Harry was left with only one of them. The same banshee of a woman that had stabbed him.

The feeling of skin peeling on his arms let Harry know that one of the woman's curses had penetrated his shield but he didn't have time to ponder on that as she just kept firing off curse after curse. He had yet to penetrate her defenses and he was tiring quickly. The fact that he knew quite a lot of hexes and curses could only take him so far, he had never had to keep up with blocking, cursing, ducking and hexing for minutes on end and vowed to himself that should he get out of there alive he'd ask his Master to teach him dueling – an hour a day!

Someone, Harry didn't know who, stepped up and relieved Harry of his own 'dueling' partner and Harry watched in awe as the two fired hex after hex at each other, neither gaining the upper hand.

Just as Harry felt a piercing pain in his forehead which alerted him to the fact that Voldemort had joined the fray, the person whom had relieved him of his opponent went flying into a nearby building and Harry winced at the sound of flesh hitting stone – that _had_ to have hurt!

Someone else had once again taken place to fight the woman and Harry turned his face to look for his Master. He found him bent over one of the Death Eaters manually tying a gag around the person's mouth and Harry could see that ropes had already been tied around the man/woman's hands.

Harry could feel the probing in his mind and had to concentrate solely on keeping his shields up; he really didn't want that mad man in his head or to possess him!

An angry exclamation alerted Harry to Voldemort's 'hiding' place and he turned around to see Professor Dumbledore doing the same. They both spotted Voldemort at the same time and Harry could only watch with gaping mouth as the two dueled. Professor Dumbledore seemed to gain the upper hand but before Harry could get too exited Voldemort ordered a retreat and all the Death Eaters who were conscious followed his lead and Apparated away. Harry cursed the fact that they had been out in the open as it was near impossible to erect anti-apparition wards without grounding points – such as walls.

The adrenaline which had kept him going until that moment left him in a rush and Harry dropped to his knees.

Two pairs of shoes came into his line of vision and Harry looked up to find his Master and the headmaster looking down at him in concern.

"I'm fine, just really, really tired."

"You're not fine Harry! You jumped in front of an enraged woman with a i dagger /i ! I saw her push the damn thing into your shoulder and I can assure you that if I know Bellatrix Lestrange at all then she would have had some or other sinister poison on the blade. You're coming with me, right now!"

Harry had gone white as he heard what his Master had to say and nodded his head dumbly. Professor Dumbledore assisted his Master in hoisting him up but it soon became apparent that he was unable to walk. The feeling of being lifted up in strong arms gave Harry a fluttering in his stomach and he put his arms around his Master's neck for balance. Leaning his head on the strong chest Harry closed his eyes. He was so tired but he knew he'd be safe. He was in the arms of his Master.

--------------------------------------------------------

Severus had known the moment Harry had fallen asleep but at the moment he couldn't really worry about that, he had to get them back to the castle as soon as possible.

Entering his potions lab Severus gently let Harry's legs fall down and kept a strong hold of the boy's upper body as he fished out his wand. Conjuring a bed he laid the boy down and immediately went to work on divesting all the clothes off the boy before he looked down at the purpled shoulder. He cursed as he could see that whatever poison had been on the blade had already begun to spread and scraped a bit of the ooze which was coming from the wound on a scalpel. The poison was not too difficult to identify but Severus cursed when he realized that it was one that the antidote would only work _if_ the poison had worked through the body's system and the victim was left alive. Lesser willed individuals had died from the poison as it made you hallucinate that you were alone in the world and that there was absolutely _nothing_ around you. No people, no animals, nothing, just one big void.

The poison usually took an hour to take effect and as soon as it started there was nothing to be done but let it work through the system which would take another two hours. Two hours in which the victim could loose any and every trace of sanity.

Severus could only hope to Merlin that Harry would pull through. He was a strong willed individual, wasn't he?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The hours passed by like an eternity and Severus couldn't help but pace the length of the room. He stopped every five steps to look at Harry and make sure he was still breathing before continuing his pacing.

Something had happened today that Severus would never have thought possible. Well, not possible to happen to someone like _him_.

He had known that Harry cared for him. The boy had said so aloud himself to Severus on more than one occasion but knowing that and seeing with his own eyes just how deeply that care run was something else entirely.

Never in his life would he have imagined someone jumping in front of him while he was under attack; be it a magical attack or a physical one such as today.

That Harry had put his own life before Severus's filled him with mixed emotions. He wanted to strangle the boy for putting his own life in danger but at the same time he wanted to hug the boy to death for showing him just how much he had come to mean to Harry. That Harry would die for Severus was not a question anymore and Severus vowed to have a talk with the boy about the value of his – Harry's – life.

Severus's musings was interrupted by the flaring of his fire and he turned around to find Albus stepping out of the fire into his lab.

"How's he doing Severus?"

"I can't say Albus. It was 'hallucio' poison on the blade and it had already taken effect when I had at last figured out what the poison was. There's nothing we can do except wait and hope that he won't loose himself in a world of _nothingness_."

"You did your best Severus, I know you did. Do not let this doubt your own worth in that boy's life. You have done everything you could to help him heal and I believe you've done more for him than anyone else could ever have. He'll pull through Severus, just have faith."

Severus didn't answer and instead kept his eyes on Harry as if counting the rise and fall of his chest to reassure himself that the boy was still breathing.

"We've managed to capture five Death Eaters. The two you yourself had captured – Nott and Avery as well as Crabbe Sr, McDowell and, I'm sure Harry will be happy to hear, Peter Pettigrew. Lucious unfortunately escaped even after Remus had bound him with what we expect was a portkey. Sirius is in the hospital wing with several broken bones as he had been blasted again a wall by Bellatrix but Poppy is confidant that he would be up and about in no time."

"Thank you Albus for informing me of that useless bit of information. Now, if you please, I have a potion to attend to and a life to save."

Albus nodded as he realized he had overstayed his welcome and Severus sighed in relief when the headmaster left.

No matter what the man said, Severus would never forgive him for leaving Harry with those muggles. He knew now that Albus had been aware of the neglect Harry had suffered at his aunt's hands and that the headmaster had done nothing about it left little doubt in Severus's mind that the Albus saw Harry only as a means to an end and not as the wonderful individual the boy truly was.

Severus turned his attention back to the still form and once again sent up a silent prayer that Harry would pull through.

**End Chapter 11**

**AN: **Harry hadn't realized that he is a Parslemouth during second year; he just thought that he had guessed the 'password' correctly in the bathroom…

I debated on whether or not to put the next chapter with this one but decided that I didn't want to read just _how_ you all are going to kill me for leaving it there soooo…..

**Chapter 12: The little boy and the strange cold man**

Severus didn't know whether to scream in frustration, pull all his hair out or to jump in the lake and give himself over to the mercy of the Giant Squid.

He had sat watch by Harry's side the entirety of the two hours the poison was supposed to take to work through the system, Harry was Harry of course and that was the reason why the poison took not two hours but four to work through his system. Severus had at first feared that Harry would never wake up again.

Maybe that would have been a better outcome?

The small form sitting in the corner of his lounge reminded him of just how the poison had affected Harry.

The boy had, after waking, looked at Severus with wide eyes that held such fear that Severus had thought for a moment Voldemort had appeared behind him, or maybe Vernon Dursley. Harry had then looked down at his lap and had registered where he was, on the transfigured bed Severus had made.

Harry had jumped up quickly, as if the bed had burned his buttocks. Severus had watched in confused fascination as Harry had then stood up straight with his hands behind his back and his head bowed. The boy had then walked over to the corner where Severus watched him now, sitting on his hunches and looking at the floor as if looking anywhere else would taint the place.

Fear of what this meant crawled in Severus's heart and he sighed in frustration and helplessness as the boy reverted back to behavior he had not displayed in years.

The fact that Harry was alive and –well?- penetrated Severus's brain then and he grabbed the boy in a bone crushing hug.

Trembles ran through Harry's body and it took Severus a moment or two to realize that. When he looked at the boy he could see that Harry was having a panic attack. The last time Severus had seen one as severe had been during Harry's second year and it was quite a foreign concept for him.

Harry quickly regained his composure though and the reality of just i how /i the poison had affected Harry made itself known by the boy's next words:

"Are you my master?"

Severus looked at him for one disbelieving moment before he took the boy's chin in hand and reached out with his well trained mind to find Harry's thought patterns.

Harry's brain was in scrambles. There was one big _void_ was the only word Severus could think of to describe it, where all his Hogwarts years had been. All that was left was the years he had spent with that animal _Dursley_. Severus's hatred for the man reached a new height after that as, however indirectly, that _man_ was the cause for Harry's state of mind.

Small hands reached out to Severus's trousers and he was too shocked to do anything for a moment resulting in Harry getting the button open but not the zipper. Severus quickly stilled the hands and Harry began trembling.

"I must please my master. You are my Master? This boy will please his Master. May I Master?"

"No! Harry!"

The confused and hurt look the boy sported almost broke Severus's heart completely.

"My name is Harry? You've given me a name? This boy does not deserve a name Master."

Every trace of stubborn pride left Severus at that moment and he knelt down in front of the boy to look him in the eye.

"Yes Harry, your name is Harry and you deserve so much more than just a name. Master _Vernon_" the name came up with a chocked hitch "had given you to me Harry. Master Vernon will never be your master again."

Harry looked at him with a blank expression then but nodded his head in acceptance. He had never had a master other than Master Vernon but he would be a good boy for his new Master. He would be a good boy!

"I have to ask you some questions Harry and you will answer me truthfully, is that clear?"

"Yes Master."

"Good. Firstly, tell me, how old are you Harry?"

"I am six and a half Master."

Severus sucked in a deep breath at that and cursed Bellatrix Lestrange with every swear word he knew. Seeing as he lived in a school with adolescents – that was quite a lot of swear words.

"Master Severus?"

The hesitant question in the voice brought Severus back from his plans of revenge and he looked at Harry with wonder.

The boy looked confused himself but at the question in his eyes, Severus nodded.

"Yes Harry, my name is Severus, Severus Snape."

"Master Severus? How did I know your name Master? You never told me your name?"

Hope began to bloom in Severus's chest and a plan formed in his mind.

The holidays were just starting and Severus would have a whole two months to work with Harry. He just hoped that his assumptions were correct and that Harry could regain his memories.

"I'm going to tell you a story Harry; a story about a wonderful little boy who had changed the life and heart of a cruel and cold man. Do you want to hear the story Harry?"

Harry looked at Severus with hopeful eyes and hesitantly nodded his head.

"This boy would like that very much Master."

"Good Harry. Take a seat and I will begin the story. I will tell you a little bit of the story every day and see what you think of it, okay?"

"Yes Master, thank you Master."

Harry sat down on the floor in front of the couch and Severus took his place on the couch knowing that it was too soon to give Harry permission to sit on the couch. The boy had enough to deal with and comprehend as it was.

"Sit back a bit Harry, that's it, your back against the couch. Good, are you comfortable? Let's start then."

"A little boy, just a bit older than _you_ Harry had once lived with very, very cruel people. The little boy was small, much smaller than any other his age. He was a bright boy full of life and energy. He loved his school. School was the one place that the cruel people he lived with could not touch him. The teachers all loved this little boy as he was always very helpful. He loved to help the teachers with cleaning their classrooms at the end of the day and he loved to help any of the other children who needed help in classes.

Every day the little boy would go to school with hunched shoulders and secrets that he kept close at heart. As soon as he entered school he would straighten up and smile as wide and as bright as possible. He truly loved his school. No one there ridiculed him. -That means that no one told him he was worthless, that he meant nothing and should not even be allowed to live.- No one at school yelled at him that he was abnormal or a freak, all the teachers loved him and he liked that, he needed that.

When he went home after school, the cruel people he lived with would hurt him, yell at him and neglect him. Neglect means that they ignored him, they didn't give him what he needed such as food, a bed, a room or anything else that children needed to thrive – blossom and grow like a flower needs water to grow, a child needs love and care to blossom.

Do you understand the story thus far Harry?"

Harry looked up at the question addressed at him and Severus could see both tears and confusion in his eyes.

"I think so Master." Came the whispered answer and Severus decided that he had planted enough information in the boy's brain for one night. There was no need to rush things with Harry and it could in fact only be detrimental if he went too fast with what he hoped to accomplish.

"Good Harry. Now I want you to listen to me and you are to obey every word, is that clear?"

"Yes Master."

"I want you to go and take a shower; I will put the water on for you as I'm sure you won't know how things work here. You are then to dry yourself off with one of the towels in the bathroom. I will put some clothes out for you and you will put them on. Then you will go to _that_ room over there and you will climb _in_ the bed and under the covers. I will then come to give you something to drink and you will sleep. Is that clear?"

Harry looked at him as if he'd grown a second head but as Severus frowned at him he quickly nodded.

"Good. Now get to it!"

It felt like first year all over again, maybe even worse but Severus knew they would get through this and he hoped that by giving Harry a 'third person's view' of his life that it would help him realize his own worth in life and that the way that 'the little boy' was treated was not right in any way shape or form.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The next evening Severus once again had Harry sit at his feet where he proceeded to continue with his story.

"Remember I told you last night how the little boy would go home to the cruel people and get yelled at? Yes? Okay, now, the little boy was very badly hurt some nights. He didn't know exactly what the cruel people were doing to him but he did know that it hurt, it hurt a lot.

His body was always full of aches and pains and most nights he cried himself to sleep. At first, when the little boy was young, about your age, he would wish for someone to come and help him, save him from the cruel people but no one did, no one came.

Later, when a few years had passed the little boy had lost hope that he would one day be saved. He had a routine by then. Go with one of the cruel people, the man, he lived with and do whatever he was told to do. They would sometimes visit other men who would also hurt the little boy, hurt him so bad that he sometimes bled but he never said a word. He wasn't allowed, if he made one wrong move, if he did one thing the cruel man didn't like he would be hurt again, worse than any time before.

The little boy realized as he grew older that he was not treated exactly right. He knew it, but he didn't know how to change it and so he continued on with what he knew.

He had been taught from a young age to do exactly as he was told and that was why one day when a strange man showed up at the place where he lived with the cruel people he did exactly what he was told.

The strange man told the boy to grab everything he owned because he was going with the strange man. The cruel people he lived with didn't say anything against the wishes of the strange man and so the boy did what he was told.

The strange man then took the boy out of the house and to a magical place a place where the boy began a whole new life; A life away from those cruel people.

Do you know where that little boy went? He went to…."

"Hogwarts."

Came the whispered word from the floor and Severus looked down at Harry as the boy looked up at him for confirmation.

"Yes Harry, the place he went to was named Hogwarts. It was a magical place as I said because that was what they taught there. Hogwarts was a school, a school for wizards and witches where they were taught spells and charms and curses and hexes."

"Are we at that magical place?"

"Yes Harry, we are at a magical place. We are in Hogwarts where I am the Potions Professor."

"I remember something about living here. There's a hat right? A hat that chooses where you should go, but he didn't choose for me, he gave me the choice of where I wanted to live. Is that right?"

Severus smiled down at the confused boy and carded his fingers through the messy hair as he answered.

"Yes Harry. You were chosen as an apprentice here at Hogwarts and you got to choose your own Master."

Harry nodded his head and laid his cheek against Severus's knee.

Severus didn't know if Harry remembered anything else but he didn't push. They retired for the night and the following evening they resumed their positions by the couch.

"The little boy who had gone with the strange man decided to live with him. The man was strict and stern but he wasn't cruel, not for the little boy as the people he had lived with had been much crueler than the strange man.

Everything was different with the strange man though. The little boy quickly learned that although the man didn't tolerate disobedience – that is he didn't accept any 'naughtiness' and always expected the boy to do as he was told – the man was never cruel and he never hurt him. Not as the cruel people he had lived with all his life had. No one else really liked the strange man but the little boy did. I don't really know _why_ the little boy liked the strange cold man but for some or other reason he did. The little boy began to smile more and not only during school hours. He also began to grow a little as the strange man kept giving him nasty medicine to help him."

"It's not medicine, its potions."

Severus looked down at Harry and quirked his lips. "And so it is yes."

"The strange man always gave the little boy some potions to help him grow and heal. You see, the little boy had been very badly hurt when he was living with the cruel people before and even though he didn't know it; his body had been broken and hurt severely. The strange man knew though, he knew that cruel people like the people the little boy had lived with could hurt someone very badly and the little boy didn't even _know_ just how badly he had been hurt.

No one else knew about what the little boy had endured at the hands of the cruel people – that is, no one knew just how bad he had suffered – and the strange man decided not to tell anyone else. He told some people who needed to know about the little boy that something was wrong and that he needed help but he didn't tell them everything, only the most necessary things."

Severus looked down at where Harry had rested his head on his knee and couldn't help but smile at the sleepy profile. Harry's eyes were straining to stay open and Severus gently pushed the boy upright before he stood and helped Harry to his bed. They could continue the story the next day.

Harry unconsciously snuggled deeper into the warm bed and was asleep before Severus had even finished tucking the blankets around him.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you know Harry that the strange cold man whom had taken the little broken boy into his home had also taken him into his heart? The strange man had thought that he didn't even _have_ a heart anymore before the little boy had entered his life. Years of being under suspicion and scorn – that is no one trusted him or liked him – had hardened the man's heart and he had built a shield around himself. No one could come close to him, not in a physical sense as in with your body, but emotionally. He had shut himself off from the world and any positive words or emotions directed at him. He never smiled or laughed, but that little boy changed him. It was like the little boy infected everyone around him with laughter and joy – that means that everyone wanted to laugh when the boy laughed and smile when the little boy smiled.

The cold man began to open up more, he could be found sharing a word or two with some of his colleagues – people he worked with – and he even smiled sometimes but only in front of the little boy, no one else. It was their little secret."

Harry smiled a little at that, he would like to have someone like that. Someone that trusted only _him_ with a secret. He hoped his new Master could one day like him the same way he was beginning to realize that the strange cold man liked the little boy.

"The little boy lived with the cold man and he enjoyed it immensely. They sometimes went out together to get an ice-cream or sometimes they took their magical brooms and flew around in the open sky with the little boy chasing the strange man at unimaginable speeds.

School continued on as normal and the little boy learned his magic at the same time that he learned that not everyone in the world was as cruel as the people he had lived with.

The little boy began to care for the cold man. The cold man had looked after him for four years by then and the little boy realized that care did not mean pain. To hurt someone was no way to show care and the cold man showed the little boy what care really meant.

He showed the boy that to teach someone a lesson you didn't have to get out a belt or a whip but stern words and a loving touch. The little boy came to realize that if he did something wrong didn't mean he'd receive the lashing of a lifetime but a disappointed look from someone who cared about him which made him feel even worse than any beating could."

Harry's breath hitched as he tried to keep from crying and Severus reached down to rub soothing circles on his back.

"Enough for tonight. You know the routine by now, go shower and then go to sleep. We can continue tomorrow night."

Harry nodded silently and did as he was told. He had the strangest feeling creeping around in him. Almost like the story his Master was telling should mean a lot more to him than it currently did.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus thought hard about what to tell Harry this evening. He could either trigger Harry's memory completely or send the boy back to stage one which he really, really did _not_ want to do.

He just hoped that it was the right decision.

Reaching out to stop Harry from sitting on the floor once again he pulled the boy onto the couch and laid Harry's head in his lap where he ran his fingers through the messy hair.

"The cold man and the little boy came to really care about each other. The man had even confessed to the little boy that he loved him. It was something that neither of them had ever really experienced, especially not the little boy but that only drew them even closer.

One day while they were out with one of the boy's friends everything changed. The cold man had known that the little boy cared for him. Cared as deeply for him as he did for the little boy but neither had really had the opportunity to show just how deeply that care ran. That day the little boy showed the cold man just how much he cared by putting his own life in danger to save the man. The boy didn't know at the time that he could have easily been killed but he didn't care, he did what he thought was right and at that moment he wanted to protect the man he had come to care for.

A fight had broken out and by the time the cold man had a chance to check up on the little boy his life had already been in danger. A poison had entered his bloodstream and was working its way through the boy's body."

Severus had to stop there in order to regain some semblance of control and as he looked down at Harry he found that the boy was looking up at him with tears spilling from his eyes.

"I'm sorry Master. So sorry Master, I only wanted to help and the Death Eater was going to kill you. I couldn't, I just…"

Severus pulled Harry up and held him tight against his chest.

"You remember Harry? You remember your years here at Hogwarts?"

"I remember Master. Thank you for taking care of that scared little broken boy because I doubt that he would have survived without the strange man coming to save him."

Nothing else was said for a few minutes and Severus thought that maybe Harry had fallen asleep when a soft, shy voice reached his ears.

"You're not cold, cruel or strange. You're my Master and you've shown me so much of what a child should grow up with that there's no doubt in my mind that you are the most caring person I have ever met. Don't let the ridicule of others make you think otherwise. I know the truth and the truth is that you are worth as much care and love as anyone else."

Severus snorted a bit before ruffling Harry's hair. "Just who is comforting whom here hey?"

Harry grinned at him and gave him a hug and a soft "thank you". Severus didn't know what the thank you was for; maybe it was for helping Harry regain his memories or maybe it was for something else. It didn't matter what it was for though, he had _his_ Harry back and that was all that mattered.

------------------------------------------------------------

"So it was Sirius who came and saved me from that Death Eater? He's quite good at dueling but _ouch_, it was _him_ who was blasted against that wall?"

Severus nodded while he ate. Harry had been asking and stating questions all day long but Severus didn't complain. The fact that Harry was all right was enough to curb any acidic comments he might have made about some of the Order members.

"Yes, Black was the one who got blasted against the wall. He was in a critical condition when Remus brought him in but he's up and about again. Been bothering me day and night about seeing you but I kept him at bay until you regained your memory. You'll have to go see him tomorrow or I just might hex him the next time he comes knocking on my door."

"I had to change my password every bloody day as Albus just doesn't seem to get the message that I do _not_ want him giving out the password to all and sundry.

I think I'll go and buy my own portrait in Diagon Alley tomorrow, then Albus won't have control over it and won't be able to extract any information from it. Being headmaster of the school certainly has its perks I'd say."

Harry sniggered a bit at that but sobered quickly as another thought struck him.

"What happened with Draco? I don't remember seeing him during the fight or after – but that's a given, seeing as I wasn't exactly in my right mind after the battle – what happened to him?"

Severus looked at Harry for a long moment before he sighed and answered.

"I'm afraid that young Draco is quite torn at the moment. He loves his father, dearly, but he also doesn't want to loose you as a friend. You're the first and only _real_ friend he's ever had Harry. Everyone else just follows him because of who his father is. He didn't join in the fight as he didn't know whose side to choose but I believe that he is the one who saved Lucius from certain imprisonment. I don't really blame him as I know that his father loves him just as much as he loves his father but someday he will have to make his own decision and choose whether to follow his father and always stay in his shadow or make his own choice and stand up for himself.

What he will decide I can't say but I'll ask you not to judge him just yet Harry. He's still young and doesn't see the world quite as you do yet. You've seen and done much more than most grown adults have and that has given you a better perspective. Draco doesn't have that and as such he will have to learn from his own mistakes or triumphs."

Harry digested all this before he nodded his head. He'd give Draco a chance as he believed that everyone deserved a second chance and even a third or forth. He'd see what Draco decided and then choose whether to help him or not. He would not be the one to condemn Draco before he even had a chance to decide for himself.

**End Chapter 12**

Okay, what did you think? I believe that seeing his own life from the perspective Severus had told it had shown Harry just how bad things had been and had helped him heal a little more.

Also, Severus doesn't know exactly how Harry's childhood had been but for the sake of the story he told Harry, he made up some things to better explain the situation to Harry.

Okay, that's it...

What did you think?


	8. Green monsters and Relationships

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**

* * *

Chapter 13: The little green monster…**

"YES Sirius! I'm fine. In fact, I've never been better. Professor Snape is a great Apprentice Master and he's taking good care of me." Harry smiled at the figure of his Master who stood in the corner with a scowl on his face.

Sirius turned to Snape as Harry smiled at him, frowned at Snape and then turned back to Harry.

"You'll tell me if he does anything _questionable_ to you, won't you?"

Harry looked at Sirius in bewilderment before the meaning of the words registered in his brain and he scowled at his godfather. Sirius looked at Harry once before he swiveled and snarled at Snape. His godson was spending _way_ too much time with Snape if he was picking up facial expressions from the dour man.

"You still haven't told me _why_ exactly you refused to let anyone come see you for two whole weeks, _two weeks!_."

Harry sighed and held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry Sirius but there was some kind of poison on the blade that Bellatrix stabbed me with and whatever it was it was also contagious. Professor Snape had to put up a shield every time he came near me during that time and I just didn't want to 'infect' any one else with it. Believe me, it's no fun to have your hands and feet switch position, reversed positions!! I had to walk on my 'hands' which were my feet and eat with my 'feet' which were my hands and my right hand was actually my left foot and its just way too complicated to explain to you!"

The soft, barely noticeable snort from the corner had Harry turning around and smirking at his Master. He could see the veiled amusement in the man's eyes but he could also see pride and just a bit of smugness. The man had clearly not realized just how much of a Slytherin Harry truly was…

"Okay, okay Harry. I get the picture and yes, in that case, I'll thank you for keeping everyone at bay. Especially Remus! Just think how it would have affected him, what with the full moon having been during the time you were 'contaminated'."

"Jeez, thanks Sirius, you make me sound like I'm a disease!"

"Well, you were, weren't you?" Sirius laughed and Harry quirked his lips at that.

"Maybe, but that's over now and I'm fine. We better get going, the feast is about to start. It was nice seeing you again Sirius. Are you back for good now or do you have to go on some or other 'errand' again?"

"I'm afraid I'm leaving again, tonight as a matter of fact. Oh, did you know Harry; they've set a trial date! With Peter captured, I'm as good as a free man!"

Harry couldn't help but smile at that. He really didn't like the thought of someone in his 'family' being on the run from the law and being hunted by _dementors_. His own remembered experiences with the horrible creatures making him shiver.

"That's great Sirius. I'm really glad for you."

"You know what that means though, don't you? You can come live with me! I'll be your legal guardian as soon as I'm acquitted of any wrong doings."

Panic was the only way Harry could describe the feeling building up in him. He liked Sirius, the man was fun to be with and a real prankster; but live with him? That would mean leaving his Master, leaving the one person who had been a constant in his life for five years now. No, he couldn't do that, wouldn't do that.

Harry smiled weakly at his godfather before turning questionable eyes to his Master. Master Severus gave a barely perceptible shake of his head and Harry felt relief wash through him. No, Sirius would _not_ be his guardian, no matter what the Ministry decided on.

"Come Potter! Your celebrity status might impress some but I assure you that I'm not one of them. Your godmutt has an assignment to get on the way so if you can wrap this up, we can leave."

"You're not the boss of him Snivvelus!" Sirius turned back to Harry then. "He's right unfortunately; I really have to go Harry. Let me know if you need anything though, anything at all."

"I will. Thank you Sirius."

Harry gave his godfather a loose hug before quickly stepping away. He'd become used to giving and receiving hugs from his Master but anyone else was still a foreign concept to him.

Master Severus opened the door and Sirius quickly left after sending another scathing look at Snape.

"Come Harry, we really have to get going if we're going to make it to the feast without drawing unwanted attention to ourselves."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry was surprisingly the first person seated at the Slytherin table and he waited anxiously to see if the person he wanted to speak with the most was going to sit next to him or not.

As soon as Draco entered the hall Harry's eyes followed him. Draco had not yet spotted Harry though but as soon as he noticed Harry sitting in their usual spot his steps faltered a bit.

Harry smiled reassuringly at him and Draco regained control of his body. Striding proudly down the hall and to the seat next to Harry, Draco nodded curtly at anyone who greeted him before he pulled the chair next to Harry's out.

The proud and somewhat obnoxious air around Draco was intact as usual but Harry could see the worried look in his friend's eyes.

Smiling at Draco and greeting him with a friendly "Good evening" Harry could almost see the relief in Draco's eyes.

"Good evening Harry. Had a good summer?"

Harry decided that maybe small talk was the best for now and so he humored Draco with answers to questions and some questions of his own.

The sorting went almost unnoticed by the two as they traded stories about their summer and by the end of the feast Harry had run out of 'frivolous' topics to discuss.

"Meet me in the classroom two doors down from the Potions classroom in half an hour." Harry stated as they stood to leave the hall. Draco nodded that he'd heard and left with the rest of the students.

Harry quickly made his way to the chambers he shared with his Master where he waited for the man to return.

"I'm going to have a little talk with Draco in twenty minutes. Was there anything you wished me to do before I leave?"

Master Severus had just entered their quarters and he gave Harry a penetrating look before making his way over to 'their' couch.

"No thank you Harry. Do you wish me to be there when you talk to Draco?"

"I think it best if I talk to him alone first. I'll inform you what he said but I doubt he'll have made a real decision just yet."

"You're right of course. Draco won't make a decision until it becomes absolutely necessary for him to do so. Come here a moment Harry."

Harry quickly stepped over to where his Master was seated and kneeled in front of him.

"I put the spell that was to punish you if you did something you knew I would not assent to in a sort of 'dormant state' but I think it best if I re-activate it again. I will tweak it a bit, well a lot, so that it sends me a visual of what you're doing at the time and I can decide whether or not it should go through with the punishment or not. That way, if something like what happened with _Umbrige_ happens again, I can just give you one good spanking to let you know that I'm not pleased with your decision and if you continue I'll decide which course to take. If I'm in the vicinity, I'll come to you otherwise I'll be forced to let know you just how much you displease me at that moment."

The thought of having that particular punishment active again made Harry cringe on the inside but he knew that nothing like what had happened the last time would happen again.

"Yes Master. Thank you Master."

Master Severus waved his wand while saying a rather lengthy incantation and Harry gasped at the tingling feeling on his buttocks. Oh, this was not good, his cock was twitching at the sensations the spell evoked.

Blushing as he stood Harry quickly bid his Master a good evening and went to the classroom he had agreed with Draco to meet at.

------------------------------------------------------------------

It became readily apparent that neither of them knew how to broach the subject which they knew they had to discuss.

Harry looked over at where Draco was idly twiddling his thumbs while looking at the far end of the room but clearly not seeing the room itself.

Deciding to be blunt as neither of them had come up with a good way to start; Harry said the first thing that came to mind:

"I'm not mad at you for leaving us to deal with all of them alone. I know your father was out there and that you were torn between the two sides." Harry was gratified to see that Draco was at least listening to him as he could see the blonde boy twitching as if he wanted to run away again. "You're my friend Draco and that means that until such a time as we come face to face with each other on opposite sides of a battle, I will stand by you and help you anyway I can."

Draco turned to face him then and Harry could see the turmoil boiling behind the grey eyes.

"You still want to be my friend? Even after that?! What kind of person leaves a friend in the middle of a battle to fend for himself? I left you in the middle of six, or as I thought at the time, seven, Death Eaters after your blood. You would have had to fight – what was it, four – Death Eaters on your own as Professor Snape took on two of them. You don't know how relieved I was when I saw the other Professors come to your aid."

Harry smiled sadly at Draco before he walked over to the boy and sat down beside him.

"I know what you did Draco and I understand completely where you're coming from. Believe me, were my father alive and we loved each other as much as I can see you love your father, I would not have been able to decide between the two of you. I'm glad you didn't make a rash decision as I'm afraid to think of who you would have chosen, no don't say anything, I don't want to know if you would have chosen your father or me. Choose for yourself Draco. Don't choose one side because you want to please either one of use, choose for yourself and decide what you think is best for _you_ in the long run."

Silence fell between them then and Harry just sat there thinking of that day during the 'battle'. He was glad that Draco had not made his decision that day as decisions made in a panic usually led to deep regret or heartbreak.

Turning to Draco again Harry decided to finish off and then return to his Master.

"I'm glad that you're my friend Draco and don't want to loose you over something as stupid as a war. Yes, we will eventually have to decide which sides we fight on but I've learned the hard way that friends or anyone you come to care for means more than anything else in the world. Even a war. We will all die eventually and I feel that I would rather die with the knowledge that I had friends and people who cared about me than knowing that I kept myself secluded and separate from everyone and thus died alone, having accomplished absolutely nothing in life."

Harry finished with that and was in the process of standing up when he felt strong arms grip him around the waist and looked up just in time to see Draco close the space between them and plant his lips on Harry's.

Nothing like this had ever happened to Harry and the feeling of a warm body pressed up against his caused his cock to twitch and harden a bit.

Just as he was about to pull away a sharp smack on his buttocks made him gasp and Draco's tongue found its way inside his mouth.

Another sharp smack hit him and Harry pulled away from the arms around him.

"I'm sorry Draco but I have to go."

With that he rushed out of the classroom and to his Master's quarters. He didn't know exactly what had just happened but he knew that his cock was definitely interested in the feelings those lips on his had stirred.

His bum was burning a bit with the two sharp spankings he'd received and he dreaded having to face his Master. The fact that the man had not once but twice activated the spell made it clear to him that what had just happened had not pleased his Master, at all.

Coming to a stop in front of their quarters Harry took a deep breath and eased the door open as silently as he could.

His Master was pacing in front of the fire but as soon as Harry entered he turned to the door and froze.

Harry didn't know what he'd expected when coming to face his Master but the emotions swirling in those black depths had certainly not been what he'd expected.

Hurt, he could identify but other emotions also burned in his Master's eyes and Harry couldn't help but turn away from them. It hurt to look at his Master at the moment for he knew that he had hurt the man deeply.

No one said anything though and when Harry had at last gathered up the courage to once again look at his Master the man silently pointed at Harry's door. Harry all but fled to his room.

--------------------------------------------------------------

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Severus paced in front of the fire once again when Harry's door had closed. The spell had for some reason or another decided that maybe he would not be pleased to see Harry kissing someone, someone other than himself.

As soon as the picture of Harry and Draco had appeared in his mind he had activated the spell. Rage, hurt and betrayal swirled through him but when Harry gasped as the spell punished him and Draco took advantage of the situation, Severus saw red. Luckily after the second time he had activated the spell Harry had realized that he was _very_ displeased at the moment and had said a quick goodbye.

Now, as he could logically think about what had happened Severus cursed himself for acting rashly.

Yes, seeing Harry kissing another had hurt, more than he cared to admit but that was no reason to punish the boy. Their contract at the moment was such that Severus, while the boy's master was more of a father figure than anything else. He cared for the boy, disciplined him and helped him when needed. He had agreed that any sexual aspect of the relationship would be left for when and _if_ Harry decided that he wanted to enter a real Dom/Sub relationship with him.

That he had already decided that he wanted Harry as his sub was not relevant as he would not force the boy into anything. He wanted their relationship to be consensual when they decided to take it further and forcing the boy into anything was definitely _not_ safe, sane or consensual.

He would just have to put his own feelings back behind that hard shell he had built around his heart and hope that it would keep him from going insane.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Something was wrong, horribly wrong but what it was Harry wasn't certain. His Master had been acting weird for months now and Harry was at the end of his rope.

He didn't know what had triggered this change in his Master's behavior but some signs pointed to one thing. Draco.

Master Severus had been harsher with Draco than he'd ever been with anyone else. As Draco and his Master had always had a rather amicable relationship Harry couldn't help but wonder what had happened that his Master seemed to now hate Draco.

Harry himself had taken to spending less time with Draco as every time he was with the boy his Master showed up and scowled fiercely at the two.

Harry wanted dearly to talk to Draco about what had happened at the beginning of the year but an opportunity never presented itself. He was either busy with class, doing potions with his Master or swallowing lumps when his Master came up behind him and Draco whenever they finally found time to talk.

His Master's behavior toward him had also changed. Some days Harry could feel eyes on his back and knew that his Master had once again taken the Time Turner to keep an eye on him but other days his Master completely ignored him. It was driving him crazy!

One Saturday evening Harry was lying on the couch in the living room, reading a novel he had found in the library when his Master entered. The man scowled fiercely at Harry and snapped at him to go to his own rooms as he was contaminating the furniture in the lounge.

Something about the tone in his Master's voice triggered memories Harry had long suppressed and he snapped.

Falling to his knees Harry began apologizing profusely. He apologized for anything and everything he had done wrong. He apologized for accidentally moving his Master's toothbrush half an inch from where it had been the week before when he had slipped and grabbed onto the sink and his hand had brushed against the toothbrush moving it slightly. He apologized for putting two sugars in his tea instead of one and a half as usual – he was developing somewhat of a sweet tooth. He apologized for any and every transgression he could remember doing the past seven months.

He became aware of strong arms around him rocking him back and forth and couldn't hold his tears back any longer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If Master tells me what I did wrong, I'll undo it. I won't ever do it again, I promise. I'm so, so sorry!"

"Ssshhh Harry. Calm down, its okay. You did nothing wrong, I promise. Ssshhh, calm down."

The calming words continued and Harry eventually loosened the death grip he had on his Masters robe.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing Harry. I've been absolutely horrible to you and everyone else these past few months. You did nothing wrong Harry, nothing! I'm sorry, really truly sorry for what I've put you through. I can't tell you just how sorry I am Harry; that you've lasted as long as you did without snapping is a miracle. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for Harry."

Harry shifted a bit until he was pressed up with his back against his Master's chest. They were both on the floor in front of 'their' couch but Harry couldn't care less. His Master's arms were once again around him and that was all that mattered.

"There's really no excuse for my behavior Harry and I'm afraid that I have to confess that it is all due to jealousy. I won't tell you what I was jealous about just yet but know that I will do my best to not let my jealousy cloud my judgment. If you wish to move out of my quarters for a bit, feel free to do so. No, I'm not kicking you out. I love you Harry. I'm only now beginning to really see how much you've come to mean to me and the thought of loosing you scares me to death but I won't let my own selfish desires influence you."

What his Master was saying was making absolutely no sense at all to Harry, maybe he was really as stupid as Master Vernon had always said, but there was one part he did understand though.

"Thank you Master, I love you too. I'm not really sure what love feels like but I've never felt this for anyone else, so I think it could be love."

Master Severus tilted Harry's head back so that Harry was looking up into his Master's eyes. A soft gentle kiss was pressed to his forehead and Harry smiled at the gesture. He felt safe there were he sat. He'd never felt safe with Master Vernon's arms around him as that had always been when he'd been held down but with Master Severus, Harry had never felt safer than with Master Severus's arms around him, as if nothing in the world could harm him as long as he was with his Master.

Sighing contently with the knowledge that things would be better now Harry snuggled closer to his Master and closed his tired eyes in sleep.

"Good night, I love you my Master."

A slight tightening of the arms around him made him smile and he heard the soft whisper of his Master's voice.

"Good night Harry and I love you."

The fact that his Master had stated it as a promise and not as a confirmation of his own feelings towards with an 'I love you _too_' filled him with a rush of joy and something else he couldn't identify but he knew it was something good.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry wasn't really sure what had woken him but he had a very uneasy feeling in his stomach. Soft cursing reached his ears and Harry sat up in bed. That had sounded like his Master. Looking at the clock on his bedside table Harry could see that is was just after three in the morning and no where _near_ time for them to wake up.

The sight that met him as he entered the living room would forever be planted in his brain. His proud, stubborn Master was on his knees with one arm held close to his chest and the fingers closed in a fist while the other hand had a death grip on the forearm close to his chest.

Harry could see the pain in his Master's eyes and the expression on his face but what helpless with what to do to aid his Master.

A spasm overtook his Master and the hand which had been holding his left forearm fell away as his Master crumbled to the floor. Harry could just make out the beginning of what he knew was the 'Dark Mark'; glowing a brilliant red as his Master fell to the floor.

He was at his side in an instant and pried the fingers wrapped around the bruising flesh away. His Master opened his eyes when he felt Harry's hands on him but could say nothing as he was too focused on not screaming to trust himself to speak.

"What's happening? Is it Voldemort, is he calling?"

Harry felt truly helpless in their current situation as he didn't know what he could do to ease his Master's suffering.

Panic set in as Harry realized that his Master had lost consciousness. He remembered seeing his Master with a bottle of relaxing cream mixed with something Harry hadn't been able to identify a few weeks back and realized that his Master had probably used that every other time Voldemort decided to torture him through the mark.

Harry searched each and every cupboard in their quarters but he couldn't find the salve his Master had used. He even entered his Master's bedroom – something which he had _never_ done before as he had been expressly forbidden from doing so when he'd first come to live with his Master – but at the moment he thought that the situation warranted his breach in that agreement.

Nothing. There was some relaxing cream but none of the relaxing cream his Master had mixed with some other potion. Harry didn't know what his Master had mixed it with every other time and so he was really helpless and disheartened about what else he could do, or as the case was, that he could do _nothing_.

Picking his Master's head up off the floor he summoned a pillow which he put under his Master's head. He just sat there idly stroking his Master's hair in order to sooth him in any way possible.

When another spasm ran through his Master's body Harry gripped the arm with the Dark Mark tightly. The instant his fingers touched the mark he heard hissing in his head. The hissing became words as Harry focused on it and he realized that Voldemort was chanting something, something which was causing his Master terrible pain. _His Master_.

Harry focused on the voice in his head and hissed back at it. _"Leave him alone! He's not yours anymore. He's renounced your ways and will never follow you again. Leave him alone!!"_

Harry could feel the shock coming from the monster who was doing this to his Master but just fought harder as Voldemort started fighting back against him. Harry pushed with all his might against the presence he felt in his mind and as soon as it was gone he focused all his attention on building a shield. He realized that even though the voice had been at the back of his mind, the source had actually been the landscape he found himself on. There were symbols painted on the ground but Harry couldn't decipher a meaning to any one of them. He focused on building the shield all around the symbols on the ground. There were hundreds of them but when he at last finished he could see that it had formed a sort of dome that would keep anything out and away from those symbols. Nothing could touch it from the sides, from above or from below. It was completely shielded.

As Harry realized that he had accomplished what he had wanted to, fatigue rushed through him and his mind went blank as he felt his body fall to the ground and loose contact with his Master.

**End Chapter 13**

**Chapter 14: Relationships**

Severus gradually became aware of the fact that the pain in his arm was diminishing, rapidly. He could not remember a time when the pain had faded as fast or swiftly before. The uber-relaxing cream he had created for this very purpose was finished and Severus wanted to kick himself for not making another batch. Well, with everything going on between Harry, Severus himself and Draco, he forgave himself for that little lapse in memory.

What was the cause for his salvation now though? The warmth which had been wrapped around his arm left him a moment later and he snapped his eyes open as he became aware of a body slumping against him.

The sight and feel of Harry as a dead weight against him brought a sour taste to his mouth.

_Please let him be okay, please!_

Quickly assessing Harry and realizing that the boy was just out cold because of magical exhaustion Severus gently picked him up and carried him to his room.

The unkempt bed triggered Severus's memories and he realized that it was very late, or rather, early in the morning and that Harry should have been asleep the whole time.

Severus remembered that it had been the pain in his left arm which had woken him but that now, where he was busy tucking Harry in, there was no pain.

Severus didn't know what to expect when he looked down at his forearm; maybe he expected to see smooth skin, maybe he had expected to see nothing different and that it was just that the 'Dark Lord' had tired of his punishment. He didn't know what to expect and when he looked at his arm and saw the Dark Mark still branded on his skin he felt somewhat disappointed that the thing was still there but looking closer he could see that something had definitely changed.

The mark, where it had always been black with hints of green, now had a simmering layer of gold over it. He could still see the mark clearly but any and all traces of green were gone.

Harry rolled over in his sleep and tucked one hand under his head, the other hand came to rest gently in front of his face. With the palm of the 'free' hand facing upward Severus was horrified to see some first, bordering on second degree burns. The fact that the burns were all in the shape of some or other rune only intensified Severus's concern.

Rushing to his personal medical supply closet Severus searched through his stack for some epi-burn-cream which healed any burns done to the epidermis. Finding what he was looking for as well as some dermi-burn-cream Severus grabbed an empty bowl and slopped some of each cream in the bowl where he then gently blended the two together.

Taking the bowl and some plasters Severus made his way back to Harry's room and sat down on the bed next to the boy. Harry was still fast asleep which Severus was very grateful for; healing burns of any type was no enjoyable experience.

Severus gently took Harry's hand in his and applied the cream he had mixed together before he wrapped the hand up with bandages. Shifting Harry slightly, Severus extracted the other hand from under the boy's head where he proceeded to do the same as with the first hand.

Gently letting the hand down again, Severus stood up from the bed and bent down to place a soft kiss on Harry's forehead. As he was turning around Severus heard Harry's soft voice; "Thank you Master" Harry said softly, but when he looked back at Harry the boy was snoring lightly and Severus decided that it had just been his imagination.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You mean to tell me that you have been in a healing sleep for forty-three hours because you thought it a good idea to take on 'The Dark Lord' all by yourself in a world no-one else would have been able to help you!?"

Well, when his Master put it that way… Harry just hung his head and nodded.

"Why Harry? Why in Merlin's name would you want to put yourself in such danger? You didn't even know what could happen but yet you did it anyway. What if you had lost?"

"I just… I don't… I'm sorry Master."

Harry didn't know what else to say. The image of his Master on the floor was still fresh in his mind and he knew that were something like that to happen again, he'd do exactly as he had. His Master had been in danger and he was there to help, so why not?

Master Severus let out a long suffering sigh and Harry looked up at the man. He really didn't want his Master angry at him but he didn't know how to make it better.

"You were… I was… Master, you were in pain! I remembered seeing you some nights ago with a relaxing cream but I couldn't find it and Voldemort just kept hurting you! I couldn't let him do that to you. I don't even know how it happened but when I touched your mark I was in a whole new place where there were runes everywhere and then Voldemort was there and I don't _know_ what happened but I had to help you, save you from him."

Harry really didn't know how to explain it to his Master and gave up after trying for the fifth or sixth time.

"I'm still angry with you Harry, for putting your own life in danger like that but what I would like to know is, why? Why did you do it Harry?"

"Because you're my Master and he was hurting you. I won't let him take you from me, not if I can help it."

"So you put your own life in danger, once again, because you wanted to save me?"

"Yes Master."

"Oh Harry, when will you learn that your life is as much, and even more worth than mine."

Harry didn't know what to say to that or even if he _should_ say anything, so he kept silent.

"Your hands are almost healed Harry, I want you to continue applying the cream tonight and tomorrow and then I'll see how it's doing. I'm going up to the headmaster as I believe he'd like to know that I'm not and most probably won't ever be in pain again because of one maniacal bastard, thanks to the selfless yet very thoughtless act of one wonderful individual who shall remain nameless. Do whatever you wish Harry but _do not_ leave the castle. Is that clear? And inform any of the teachers where you are going but make sure that at least one of them know where you are at any moment."

"Yes Master. Thank you Master."

Harry smiled at his Master and silently thanked the man for keeping the reason behind his sudden 'painless' life a secret. Harry would hate to gain any more attention than his celebrity status already gathered. The fact that the headmaster would figure it all out on his own was not mentioned but they both knew it and just hoped that the old coot wouldn't make too much of a fuss over it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luckily the headmaster knew where to draw the line and made no mention of how Severus had been 'rid' of the Dark Lords punishments.

The rest of the holiday went by in a blur of _potion making_, studying, _potion making_, talking, _potion making_ and some 'bonding'. By the end of the holidays Harry cursed himself for 'choosing' potions as the subject he apprenticed in.

Master Severus thought it was a good idea to 'punish' Harry for putting his life in danger by giving various potion instructions and leave Harry up to figuring out exactly _what_ potion he was making and how much time it would take to make each. The fact that most of the potions were seventh year material was not mentioned but they both knew it. Harry just worked harder and relished in the attention his Master bestowed on him at the same time as he learned more about potions than he ever did before.

September the first crept up on them and before Harry knew it he was seated at the Ravenclaw table awaiting the entrance of his 'house mates'.

As the hall began to fill Harry sought out Draco and gave the boy a small wave and a smile. Draco looked relieved for some reason and hesitantly smiled back at Harry.

Draco's behavior bothered Harry during the course of the meal but as he got ready to leave with everyone else he remembered that they had never gotten the chance to talk after that little 'incident'.

Harry quickened his pace and caught up with the blonde just as he was descending into the dungeons.

"Can we talk?" Harry asked as he looked around to find a suitable place where they would have enough privacy for whatever it was they would do.. er.. talk about.

Draco smiled at Harry, a real honest smile and Harry was very relieved to see it on the blonde's face. He had worried that maybe Draco didn't want to be his friend anymore.

The two boys made their way to an abandoned classroom where Draco then proceeded to ward the door and put up a silencing charm.

"We can do more than just talk Harry, that is, if you want to."

Draco looked a bit uncertain and even though Harry had no idea what the boy was talking about he hated seeing Draco as anything but the arrogant, self-assured individual he was. He nodded.

The meaning behind Draco's words became clear in a moment as Harry once again felt soft lips crushing against his.

Hands held his hips as Draco pressed closer to him and Harry just melted into the sensations his body was experiencing.

Harry could have sworn he'd felt the beginning of a good spanking but as the sting was not nearly as noticeable as before he chalked it up to his imagination or maybe remembered experiences.

A tongue gently rubbed against his bottom lip and Harry opened his mouth as the tongue pushed in. The hands on his hips moved to hold his back and head and Harry gave himself over to sensations and the boy in charge of the situation.

They broke away eventually and Harry could feel his cheeks burning, whether it was from embarrassment, joy, pleasure or a combination of the three he didn't know.

"I've wanted to do that for years now but the first time ended in a disaster."

Harry forced himself back to the present as Draco spoke and he nodded as he remembered the first time this had happened.

"I was wondering, you and Professor Snape have a very _unique_ relationship going on. You are not together or anything, are you?"

"Er.. together in what sense? I'm afraid I don't understand Draco."

"I mean you're not going out, as a couple. You don't kiss and grope and whatever else couples do?"

"Er… no?"

"It's an easy question to answer Harry. Either you are involved sexually, or you aren't."

"Oh, oh! No, we're not involved sexually, not at all."

"Good. That makes this so much easier. Harry, would you mind going out with me, as a couple?"

Harry just looked at the blonde as if he'd grown a second head. He didn't know exactly what it all involved but from the way Draco had spoken at first, Harry got the distinct impression that this would be a sexual relationship. He wasn't ready for that yet. Not after years of living as a cheap whore and then being blessed with a Master who had nothing but Harry's best intentions at heart.

Looking at Draco now Harry was acutely reminded of one or two of his more 'regular' customers who also had blonde hair and lithe figures.

Panic began to build up in him and Harry rushed past the startled blonde. Yanking on the door Harry froze as he realized that it was closed. Searching frantically through his robe pockets Harry became hysteric as he couldn't find what he was looking for.

Draco stepped up behind him and Harry cringed back as a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Harry? Harry! It's okay, don't worry, I'll open the door for you okay? See, there, it's open now, you can…."

Harry didn't stay to hear what else Draco had to say; he just turned tail and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus sat on the couch with his head in his hands. He had almost ruined things with Harry completely. He had vowed to himself that he would not interfere with any relationship Harry might build up and then what did he do, he went and activated the spell as soon as Draco kissed Harry. Again. He stopped the spell a second after activating it and just hoped that Harry had not felt it. He really didn't want to be the one who ruined any and every chance Harry had at happiness just because he was a jealous, selfish prat. Yes, he could admit that to himself.

Minutes passed which felt like hours and Severus was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the room open and Harry enter. He only became aware of the fact that his charge had returned when a small body hit him from the side.

He was about to scold the boy for his behavior when he realized that Harry was wracking with sobs. Holding him close, Severus murmured soothing words while thinking that giving Draco detention and having him sort out Albus's clothes in color co-ordinance would be a suitable punishment. He'd just have to get Albus to agree and then leave the boy to sort through thousands of clothes all in different colors. It would take the boy at least five hours to figure out that the headmaster had not one piece of clothing of precisely the same color.

Draco wouldn't know that blue, azure, cobalt, navy and sapphire were all different shades of blue and as such, not exactly the same color.

Yes, that might just be a suitable punishment for driving Harry into the state he was now.

Better yet, he'd buy the headmaster a new trunk with multiple compartments and tell Draco to number each compartment and make a list of which clothing was where, the color, exact shade and number of clothing in each.

That might keep the boy busy for a year, maybe even two as Severus had no doubt that Draco would have to look up the colors and shades and everything before he even thought about organizing everything. Well, that would be after his first try and after Severus had emptied the whole trunk and told Draco to do it over, correctly this time.

The fact that the headmaster chose what to wear on a whim would make it that more exiting as Draco would have to dig deep to find whatever the headmaster was looking for…

Severus sat back with a now sleeping Harry and thought up new ways to punish anyone who harmed _his_ Harry in any way shape or form.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry shifted slightly as he woke up and found that he was very comfortable, wherever he was.

The warm cocoon he found himself in was soon identified as his Master's embrace and Harry snuggled deeper when he realized that he was safe and nothing could befall him where he was.

Memories of what had happened with Draco came rushing back and Harry shuddered as he thought of what the blonde wanted to do.

The arms around him tightened a bit and Harry looked up into the black eyes of his Master.

"I'm glad to see you're awake. We slept out here the whole night and breakfast is in two hours. I have some muscle relaxant if you have any sore body parts."

Harry smiled at his Master as they both stood up and he stretched his aching limbs before consenting to the muscle relaxant, he could really use some right now.

"What exactly happened yesterday Harry?"

"I was… er.. Draco had… we, that is; he kissed me."

"And that caused you to come barging in the room in the state you were in?"

Master Severus sounded both skeptical and sarcastic and Harry sighed as he knew he'd have to tell the whole truth.

"He asked me a few questions. About you, the relationship we have and then he asked if I would like to go out with him. As in, we would be a couple. I guess I just freaked. I just can't imagine a sexual relationship with anyone right now and from what he had said earlier, that is what I assumed he meant."

Harry looked down again but his chin was lifted a moment later.

"You will have to tell me everything Harry, word for word, or as much as you can remember because I have a feeling that you misunderstood some things he said. Don't worry, I doubt he would be angry with you and you will be able to work it all out but first you will have to tell me everything."

Harry nodded and related their conversation as best he could remember.

Master Severus was silent for a moment and Harry thought he could see deep hurt in those fathomless black eyes but as his Master looked him in the eye, it was gone.

"I believe that you misunderstood what Draco asked of you Harry. It is not surprising with someone of your background. Although Draco would most likely want to explore things a bit, he himself is young and not experienced in any way. When he asked you to go out with him, he meant it exactly like that. Go out with him on a few dates. Get to know each other better and then if you want to, you will both decide to either go further or to break it up.

You may tell him that you do not wish the relationship to go too far and I'm sure he'll understand. I know Draco and know that he would never intentionally hurt you Harry. You've come to mean too much to him. If he _does_ hurt you, in any way, you come to me immediately and I will deal with him but I doubt that that would happen.

Speak to him today and tell him what _you_ wish from the relationship, whether you only want to be his friend, if you want to explore a bit with him and get to know him better. Tell him what you are willing to do and what you are not. For example, _no sex_, but if you wish to explore a bit with hand jobs or blow jobs, tell him."

Harry nodded when he realized that his Master had finished speaking. There had been moments while his Master spoke that Harry could have sworn he'd heard hesitation and even some pain laced into the words but he didn't dwell on it. His Master had always told him when he did something wrong and now was no different. If this was something his Master did not wish of him, he would have told Harry so.

"Thank you Master, I think I understand now. I'll go talk with Draco, er.. okay, I'll talk with him during the day." Harry stammered as he realized that it was still too early to go to breakfast and that Draco would not be there yet.

Master Severus laughed a bit and Harry quickly excused himself to make them both a cup of tea and some crackers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Their OWL results were a bit late and only came during the second week of school. Harry was seated on his bed with Draco sprawled lazily in front of him when his Master entered the room. He gave the boy's their results and left again. Harry was getting worried about his Master, the man had been acting funny lately. More 'withdrawn' in a way that Harry couldn't explain.

Draco's enthusiastic hug caught Harry off guard but he groaned as he was pushed back on the bed and his mouth claimed. He'd gotten used to the kisses Draco liked so much and eagerly opened his mouth to the other boy.

They had done nothing but kissing yet but Harry knew the day would come when they'd both be too frustrated to leave it just at that.

"Draco, while I enjoy your kisses immensely, I have yet to open my own results."

Draco let him up reluctantly and Harry quickly ripped open the envelope with his results.

He had done even better than expected. Acceptable in Divination and History of Magic. Exceed Expectations in Astronomy, Herbology and Transfigurations and Outstanding in all the other subjects. He'd even scored two O+; in Defence and Potions for extra credit work he did with the 'Patronus' charm and his Apprenticeship in Potions.

Draco had done much the same as Harry except that he had Arithmancy instead of Divination and received an Exceed Expectations in that. He had of course only received the usual Outstanding and not any O+'s like Harry.

They were both very proud of their marks and Harry scooted off the bed and out the room in search of his Master to tell him his marks.

Master Severus read them over before giving Harry a proud smile. "I'm very proud of you Harry and expect you to do just as well in your NEWTS."

"Yes sir!"

Draco presented his own scores to the Professor and Severus read them over once before giving Draco a swift nod. Yes, he was proud of his Slytherins, they usually did very well but they didn't flaunt it like the Ravenclaws or some Gryffindors who shall remain nameless.

Harry and Draco returned to his room where Harry was for the first time introduced to the wonderful sensations of effective blow jobs. The one he had received as a child didn't count as it had never been completely 'fulfilled'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus forced himself to focus on his reading as the noises from Harry's room reached his ears. He'd remind the boy of silencing charms in the morning. There was no need for him to shove the dagger even deeper into his own heart by going into that room right now and seeing with his own eyes just what that damn Draco was doing to _his_ Harry.

He had known that it would hurt to see Harry with someone else. He had known from the beginning that it was a bad idea to open his own heart to the boy but had been unable to prevent it from happening. Harry had a way to just crawl into the deepest, darkest part of your heart and make his home there, lighting everything up with his mere presence. That he had known it was going to hurt did not prepare him for the reality of the situation and just how _much_ it hurt to see the one he loved with all his heart in the arms of another.

Seeing Harry smile every day and seeing that sparkle in his eyes was the only thing that kept Severus from going insane. As long as Harry was happy, he was happy. That it was Draco Malfoy who made Harry happy was just something he'd have to live with.

Coming back to reality at the sound of Harry screaming his release Severus shut the book he had been trying to read and retired for the night.

He would just have to make sure that Harry stayed happy and that Draco didn't hurt him. Ever.

**End Chapter 14**

A bit short but I felt it was a good place to stop it. DON'T worry, this IS and WILL be Snarry, Harry just has to experience a normal relationship in order to be able to make a distinct separation between the two kinds of relationships and make a consensual decision when the time comes.


	9. Trust and Understanding

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**Important Warning:** Just to let you know, there's a swear word or two in this chapter…

**Chapter 15: Placing your life in the hands of another**

The worry Harry had felt about his Master's behavior had since turned into something else entirely. He was beginning to feel somewhat _neglected._

Draco and he had been together for the better part of a year now and during that time Harry had learned some very interesting things about his own body. He had learned that he was _very_ ticklish under his feet but not so much anywhere else. He loved back rubs and massages of any sort and really didn't mind giving them to someone else, Draco in this case.

Yet he felt that something was wrong, something was missing. His Master's behavior was weighing heavily on his conscious and he couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't maybe responsible for whatever it was that was 'ailing' his Master.

The relationship he had with Draco was wonderful but Harry craved something a bit more, a bit deeper. What exactly it was, he wasn't certain but there was something missing.

They had done nothing more than some hand jobs and blow jobs but Harry doubted that it was the level of intimacy they shared that was the problem. It was something else, if only he knew what it was!?

As the last day of school drew nearer Master Severus began to behave a bit more like his normal snarky self and Harry realized that he had missed that man. The Snarky bastard that everyone else loved to hate but Harry just loved to love, the sarcastic Master that went out of his way to make Harry's life as enjoyable as possible and the hard task master, whom had helped Harry, taught Harry and disciplined him when he needed it; he missed that man, dearly!

When Harry one day forgot who he was talking to and raged at his Master the same way he would rage at Draco when he felt overwhelmed he realized what it was that he missed the most. That strong hand that punished him after he had stepped out of place was back again and Harry was led into his bedroom and laid down on the bed where Master Severus proceeded to deliver five spankings to his bare bottom.

He didn't really know why he began to cry but as Master Severus held him close and murmured soothing words that it was over, that Harry was okay, that he was safe, he just let loose and clung to his Master as he sobbed.

As the tears dried and a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead Harry realized what had been missing; the strong yet gentle arms of his Master held him tight and Harry relaxed into the embrace. He had missed this; missed his Master's presence, missed his Master's strong hands and gentle punishments. He had missed the fact that he could give up all control to his Master and still know that no harm would come to him; that his Master would protect and care for him no matter what.

Harry realized with a start that this was something he would most likely never have with Draco. They both loved to explore and tease each other but Harry just couldn't imagine giving himself over into the hands of the blonde and trust him to care for Harry as Master Severus would.

He liked Draco, a lot, but the trust he had in his Master was unparalleled by any other and Harry knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was no one else he trusted with his emotional healing at the moment. He knew that he was rather 'fucked up' in the mind with everything he'd gone through but he also felt that he had made a lot of progress toward becoming a normal, healthy human being – both mentally and physically.

Focusing back on the present and the problem at hand, Harry gently extracted himself from his Master's embrace and was both relieved and surprised that the man didn't wake up. The exhaustion lines visible on the man's face caused something deep within Harry to crack and he vowed to himself that he would do his best to help his Master with whatever the man was dealing with.

Tip-toeing to his room Harry donned his robes and sat down on his bed to think. He didn't know what to do about the relationship he shared with Draco. On the one hand he really liked the boy and what they had come to mean to each other but on the other hand he felt a bit of a bastard himself that he was even thinking of continuing on as they have and then just drop the boy like a dead weight at the end of their schooling.

Fucking with someone's brain and then dropping them at a time they needed you the most was something Harry was all too familiar with – having been the victim of something as such on more than just one occasion.

No, he couldn't do something like that to another human being, he would have to talk it through with Draco and they could decide together what to do.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry finally caught up with Draco the day before they were all expected to go 'home' for the summer holidays. The week had been hectic and Harry had not been able to find time to meet with the young blonde to discuss their relationship.

"Draco! Wait up; I need to talk with you."

"Harry, never start a sentence like that. You only start a sentence like that when you have really bad news and I'm afraid that I'm just not in the mood for more bad news right now."

"More bad news?"

"Yeah" Draco sighed as he brushed a hand through his hair and turned to face Harry fully. "I told you about some exiting news I wanted to share with you last week right? Well, I'm afraid there's no news to share anymore."

Harry looked at the blonde and was startled to see that Draco was close to tears. That had _never_ happened before.

"I was… my mother… we… oh how do I put this? We were expecting a new member in the family; I was going to have a little sister. My mother miscarried, again, this time on four months. It's the furthest she's carried since my birth and we were really hopeful this time. I guess someone out there really wants to punish us for something or another."

Harry just stared at the blonde for a while. He didn't know what to do or say or _anything_. What did you say to a friend who just told you that he had lost a sister before she was even born? Harry couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a loving and caring family and expect another member in that family only to have them taken away. No, not knowing your parents and living without them your whole life was better than knowing them and loosing them later on. Right?

The thought of having a sister, younger than him, one he could spoil rotten, made him smile and he just couldn't imagine how Draco felt now. First having that hope of a new sister and plans of teaching her all the mischief you could but then having it all taken away in one moment…

"What was it you wanted to talk about?"

Harry looked at the blonde and just opened and closed his mouth for a few moments. What could he say? _'Oh, I think we should ease up on our relationship for a while, just until I have my head on straight.'_ Yes, that would go over well… _'I realized that there was something missing from our relationship but I know now what it is, only, I don't trust you enough for that yet.' _Oh, he was soooo screwed.

"Nothing as serious as you just sprung on me Draco. I hope you have a nice vacation and remember to write to me." Harry stepped closer to Draco and placed a soft kiss on the boy's lips before he pulled away.

Draco just smirked at him.

"Ohhh, you pulled me aside to wish me a happy holiday, how sweeeeet! Thanks Harry, good luck with our lovable snarky git and all the other uptight Professors here!" Draco winked at him and laughed as he thoroughly kissed Harry. They broke away a moment later and with a final wave Draco made his way back to the dungeons for his last night there as a sixth year.

Harry just stared after the blonde with a heavy feeling in his heart. He just couldn't do anything to Draco now that would hurt his friend even more than he already was. Breaking up with him would surely send the boy over the edge or cause him to hate Harry forever. Pushing his own selfish feelings aside Harry determined that he would just have to make their relationship work, one way or another.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus could have sang with joy as the students all left to their own homes and he was left alone with only a few colleagues and his Harry.

Seeing Draco leave was the highlight of his day and he silently celebrated the fact that he would now have Harry all to himself; if only for two months.

A week after the holidays had started however, Severus was ready to either shake Harry back into the boy he had been last year or even call upon Draco to come and help with whatever problems Harry was having.

Harry had been withdrawn since the moment everyone else had gone home. He ate and cleaned himself up and even responded to orders given by his Master but there was no life in the boy. None of the spirit and sparkle Severus had seen in his eyes only a month before.

Something was troubling Harry greatly and the fact that Severus didn't know what it was or how to make it better was driving him crazy.

After another week of 'robotized' working, Severus called Harry to him after the boy had done the evening dishes.

"Harry, I've left you alone these past two weeks in the hope that you'd be able to work out whatever was troubling you but I just can't let it go on like this. Your wellbeing is my first and only priority and as such, having you traipsing around like a robot is _not_ a sign of good health!"

Harry looked up at him then and Severus had to fight hard with himself to stay emotionless. Harry's eyes were almost dead, the little life in them were dulled and hidden behind a sea of uncertainty and helplessness.

Wordlessly opening his arms Severus grunted as Harry's slight form hit him forcefully. Bringing his arms around his Harry, Severus steered the boy to the couch and sat down before pulling Harry into his lap. They sat in silence for long minutes with Severus just rubbing soothing circles on Harry's back while Harry tried his best to regain control of himself.

"What has you so troubled Harry? If it is anything I can help you with, you know I will."

Severus felt Harry sigh and tilted the boy's head back so he was looking him in the eye.

"Tell me Harry."

It was not really a request but a demand and Harry nodded slightly as he wriggled in Severus's lap to find a comfortable position.

"It's just… I'm not… I feel like such a bastard Master. Master Vernon was right, I'm a freak and a bastard and I deserve to be punished as harshly as possible."

"Harry, you are not a freak. You are a wonderful individual, who's gone through so much in your short life, much more than any grown man should have to go through but yet you made it out alive and well. You are a very strong young man to be able to tolerate not only normal touch by someone but even the more intimate touches young Draco have bestowed. I know you would never hurt someone intentionally Harry, you care too much about other people to do that to someone. Nothing you say will make me think of you as a bastard, freak or a monster. Now, tell me, what is it that is bothering you?"

"I like Draco, a lot. He's my best friend, my only friend, but I'm afraid to loose him. We've been together now for almost a year but I just, it's not really what I want. He's taught me a lot and I'm very grateful to him for what he's done for me but it's just not enough. Master, you know about my past and what my previous Master did and had others do to me, Draco doesn't know about any of that. He doesn't know that I _need_ to be punished sometimes to show me that there is someone who has my life in their hands, who controls most of what goes on and who helps me with problems and set backs. He doesn't know what it's like to give your own wellbeing over into the hands of another and know without a doubt that you would be carried on those hands and lifted high above anyone else to keep you safe, to keep me safe. How can I ask him to do something like that when he himself still needs his parents to carry him?"

There was silence between them then and Severus just held Harry tightly. He honestly didn't know what to say or do. He knew exactly what Harry meant and knew that he would be more than happy to extend his own hands and pull him up and take control over that fragile little life but at the moment, Harry had to make his own decisions and Severus definitely did not want to influence the boy in any way.

"I would suggest that you talk with Draco Harry. Not in a letter or anything, face to face so that you can explain anything he needs you to. Talk to him Harry, tell him some of what you feel and what you need. You don't have to tell him about your past if you don't want to Harry but I believe giving him some insight into your past would help with the explanation. Tell him what it is you need Harry, make him understand that you care for him and want him as a friend but that you just can't ask more than that of him. If he decides that he's willing to listen and help you with what you need, then you can try to work things out but don't just keep him on a piece of string and pull on his emotions. He himself has been through a lot and while I would protect you and care for you as long as you need it I can't just stand by and watch while you play with another's emotions."

Severus ignored the little voice in his head which said that Harry was, however unintentionally, already playing with someone's emotions; Severus's.

Harry's breath hitched as he realized that that is exactly what he was going to do. He had not meant to do it, honestly, he just didn't want to hurt Draco by breaking up but he now realized that keeping him on a string would hurt him even more.

"I'm here Harry, whenever you need me, to talk or just to be held, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

"Yes Master. Thank you Master, I… I love you Master Severus."

"And I love you my little Harry, now and always."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The summer holidays was going great. Harry spent more time with his Master and sometimes even sought the man out just to reassure himself of the strong presence and protection he gained from the man.

Their respective broomsticks had once again been brought out of the closet and Harry felt his cares drift off on the wind as he soared high above the rest of the world. Master Severus kept close to him all the time and Harry laughed as he flew circles around the man making faces all the way.

His birthday was nearing and Harry felt more carefree than he had in a very long time. He was turning 17 this year and could not believe all the twists and turns his life had taken.

If you had been able to find Harry and talk to him six years ago, if you had told him that he would one day feel like the happiest person on earth with a caring, loving Master who was always around to protect him, he would have told you to go back to whatever hole you'd crawled out of and leave him be cause boy's like him didn't deserve to be happy.

Now though, Harry knew that he deserved to be happy just like everyone else. He might not always believe it, but he knew it.

The day of his birthday dawned slightly cloudy but Harry didn't mind. He had his Master next to him and a bunch of presents to open. He couldn't have been happier.

Draco had sent him a photo album of himself with pictures of a baby Draco, toddler Draco, kid Draco and teenager Draco. There were quite a lot of pictures and even a few with the whole family in it. Harry smiled at the perfect picture the family made. He wished he could one day have that. A loving partner and a child of his own. He could always dream, couldn't he?

He opened the usual box of sweets and treats from various Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Even though he wasn't very good friends with them they still studied together sometimes and Harry was always willing to help anyone out when they needed it.

When Harry finally came to the present his Master had bought him his mouth fell open in shock. He looked up at the man and saw a smirk directed his way. Why on earth would his Master buy him something like _this?_

Harry pulled the leather trousers out of the box and looked them over closely. He had never owned leather clothes before as he knew they were expensive but yet his Master had bought him not one but two pairs!!

"Try them on Harry."

Harry wasted no time and didn't even notice the way his Master gulped as he dropped his trousers right there to change into the leather ones.

They fit rather snugly but Harry loved them. They felt cool to the touch and clung to him like a second skin, he felt a bit naughty in them.

As he turned around to show his Master he found the man staring transfixed at him. Swallowing a bit nervously he hesitantly asked; "Master?"

His Master looked him over slowly, swallowed and then answered.

"You look very nice Harry, very nice indeed."

Harry smiled but it turned to a frown as his Master turned around and swept off to his bedroom. Had he done something wrong?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus hit his head against the wall of his room repeatedly. He had wanted to get Harry something unique for his birthday, something the boy didn't have and would likely never get for himself, thus the leather pants. What he hadn't brought in consideration was his own reaction to _his_ Harry wearing those tight, formfitting pants.

When Harry had dropped his trousers right there in front of Severus he had to swallow hard to keep control over himself but when the boy had turned around to give Severus a clear view of that lithe figure in formfitting leather… Severus just had to get out of there before he did something he would regret.

He could hear Harry cleaning up in the living room and silently apologized for leaving so abruptly but he had more pressing matters to attend to.

Reaching down he slowly undid his robe and then the rest of his clothing until he was wearing only his boxers. Lying down on the bed Severus closed his eyes but he refused to think of anything, or rather anyone in particular. He did _not_ want to feel like the perverted old man he really was right now!

It was not very often that he indulged in self pleasure but since Harry had grown up into the nice young man he was today… Severus had become fairly well acquainted with his hand once again.

He refused to put a face to the images and just thought about soft hands, supple lips and wandering fingertips. Pumping harder as he felt himself near orgasm Severus just couldn't stop the whispered word from escaping.

"_Harry!"_

-------------------------------------------------------------

Harry had been cleaning up the living room slightly annoyed about the way his Master had just up and disappeared. Why exactly that was, he didn't know.

Picking everything up carefully, Harry made his way to his bedroom where he placed the pants in his drawer and the sweats and treats on his bedside table. Draco's photo album found a new place on his mantel and Harry stood back to look the room over. Satisfied that everything was as it should be he returned to the living room where he quickly picked up all the wrapping paper and with a wave of his wand he had even the smallest snippet out of the carpet.

Not really tired yet, Harry pulled a book off from the shelf and settled down to read. He had barely finished the first sentence when he heard groaning from his Master's bedroom.

Harry hesitated, he didn't know what to do; what if his Master was in pain? He wasn't allowed to enter his Master's bedroom but as he had not gotten in trouble the previous time he had broken this rule he hoped he would not be in trouble this time. He just wanted to make sure his Master was all right after all…

Easing the door open a bit Harry stopped dead in his tracks as he watched his Master writhe on the bed. He knew now what it was and even what it felt like, thanks to Draco, but he had never imagined seeing his Master in such a position.

As his Master sped up his pace Harry was startled to realize that his own cock was hardening. When Master Severus reached orgasm and whispered Harry's name almost too softly to be heard Harry bit back a gasp.

His Master was thinking of him!

Did that mean that the man wanted him like that? Did Master Severus actually want Harry in a sexual way but never told him? Why didn't his Master say anything? He knew that Harry was not exactly inexperienced after all. He should just tell Harry that he wants this to be a part of their relationship!

Gently shutting the door after retreating, Harry made his way to his own rooms while his mind raged through various explanations.

Did his Master really want him like _that?_ Why had he never told Harry? Did he not like Harry enough to actually touch him sexually, just fantasize about it?

Why on earth did this new knowledge hurt so much?

**End Chapter 15**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Understanding**

Severus could have sworn he'd heard something but as he fished around for his wand in order to clean himself up he looked around the room and at the door but found nothing out of the ordinary.

Shaking it off as his paranoid brain raising his hackles, Severus stood and made his way to the living room and then to Harry's door. It had been quite in the rest of the quarters for a while now and Severus thought that maybe Harry had gone to sleep.

Opening the door to Harry's room he peeked in and could see the still form on the bed, closing the door once again Severus retired to his rooms to get his own bit of shut-eye.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry kept as still and silent as possible as he heard his door open. He just hoped and prayed that his Master would not come any closer than a few steps for then he would see the tear tracks imprinted on Harry's cheeks.

The anguish he felt at the knowledge that his Master wanted him, wanted him but found him too disgusting or _something_ to act out on it hurt more than any words could say.

Why then did Draco touch him? Why could Draco look past whatever it was that repulsed his Master so and touch Harry at the same time that Harry touched him? What was it that his Master saw in him that Draco didn't? Was it the knowledge of his past? Was it that Master Severus knew how much of a freak he was and didn't want to taint his own hands like that?

It just didn't make sense to him. Master Severus hugged Harry almost every day, he placed loving, gentle kisses on his forehead and even tells Harry that he loves him, yet he did not want to touch Harry in any intimate way. Why?

The only explanation Harry could come up with was that his whole life had been a lie. That Master Severus had been lying to him for years now and that he really was and always will be a freak of nature.

Harry hugged the pillow closer to him but as he thought of what Master Severus had said and done over the years and his own new conclusion he realized that he did not deserve any kind of comfort or kindness.

Letting the pillow go and scampering off the bed Harry curled up in the corner he had slept in his very first night there. Closing his eyes but not bothering to exert the effort to stop his tears he fell asleep with silvery tracks down his cheeks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The moment Harry exited his bedroom and made his way to the kitchen Severus could tell that something was wrong, horribly wrong.

The boy was wearing some of the oldest clothes he possessed and his whole posture just screamed "_Help me!_" When Harry emerged from the kitchen with a plate of toast, rashers and eggs for Severus but nothing for himself Severus knew that something had obviously happened that had caused the boy to revert to old behavior.

"Harry, you've been living here for six years now, you know to make your own breakfast, you are not to neglect yourself in _any_ way, is that clear?"

"Yes Master. Thank you Master."

Severus watched with growing concern and frustration as Harry stood with head bowed and came back five minutes later with yesterday's leftovers.

"Just _what_ do you think you're doing?"

Harry looked up at Severus with dulled eyes and quickly apologized for tainting perfectly good food with his mere presence.

Severus was up in an instant and he caught Harry around the waist as the boy made to leave for the kitchen.

"_What_ is wrong Harry? You know that you're supposed to make _healthy_, edible food for yourself, not leftovers or food that has gone bad. Most importantly however is that you will _never_ -taint- anything Harry. You are not a disease or something; you are not a freak or a monster. You are Harry, a wonderful boy who's made his Master more proud than he, _I_ could ever say."

"This boy is bad Master. This boy is tainted and does not deserve _anything_."

There was nothing Severus could think of that could snap Harry out of whatever funk he'd found himself in and so he just pulled the boy close to him and held him tight while murmuring soothing, loving words and repeating over and over again that Harry was not a freak, that he was loved and cared for.

Harry had at first tensed but as Severus continued his ministrations the boy relaxed a bit and laid his head on Severus's chest.

"You are _not_ a freak or disgusting in _any_ way, shape or form. You are my Harry and I love you, every part of you."

------------------------------------------------------------------

The soothing touch of his Master and the whispered words calmed Harry somewhat and he could almost believe the words spoken to him. _Almost_.

Extracting himself from his Master's embrace Harry thanked his Master and excused himself to his bedroom, conveniently forgetting to eat anything. He wanted to punish himself for dirtying his Master's home and this was the only way he could think of.

Reading over some of the letters Draco had sent him for the tenth time already, Harry didn't notice his bedroom door open and was startled when a tray was placed in front of him, heaping with healthy food and drink.

"You did not think that I'd let you get off that easily did you? Eat Harry; I won't have to starving in my home."

Harry reluctantly let the letters go and pulled the tray towards him. Master Severus sat down next to him and Harry realized that his Master was going to stay there and make sure he ate each and every thing on the plate before leaving.

"I've wanted to talk to you for a while now Harry, continue eating and I will talk. You only have to listen."

"This will be your last year here at Hogwarts Harry and we will have to start thinking of what you're going to do once you leave school. There's no need to look so worried, you are and always will be welcome to stay here. I will never turn you away Harry, no matter what it is you ask of me, I will listen and we will decide together what the best course of action is. You will remember that you always have the option to stay and submit to me completely, if that is what you wish. Even if that is not what you want, you are still more than welcome to stay; we can always work something out."

It almost sounded like his Master was reluctant to let Harry go; but that couldn't be, could it? No, Harry knew now that his Master was repulsed by him and would never touch him in any intimate way so it must be his imagination. Why was the prospect of his Master never touching him the way only Draco had, softly, gently and with care hurting so much? Why did he so badly crave that touch from his Master?

No answer was forthcoming and Harry focused back on what his Master was saying.

"You still need to talk to Draco Harry and I encourage you to explain the situation to him to the best of your abilities. If, for any reason, he turns away from you then he is clearly not the boy, man, I thought he is but I doubt that will happen. Don't just let it go Harry as breaking up with him without any explanation would hurt him terribly and going on as you have will hurt the both of you even more. He will understand, I'm sure of it; just give him a chance."

Harry nodded; it made sense, in a weird sort of way.

"Good. Now sleep, we will work on some potions for the infirmary tomorrow."

As Master Severus took the tray from Harry's lap, Harry realized that he had eaten every last bit of food on the plate. Apparently he had been hungrier than he'd realized.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Things between him and his Master stayed a bit strained as Harry still felt that there was something wrong with him if Master Severus would rather fantasize about Harry than _touch_ him.

He once again believed that maybe he _wasn't_ a freak of nature, that he wasn't a monster and a disgusting _thing_. Sometimes he still felt that it was because of him that his Master had not yet come to him for sexual favors but after hours of soft and gentle words he began to push any doubts he had away.

September the first came and went in the blink of an eye and before Harry knew it Master Severus was giving him a _look_ and then pointedly looking toward Draco.

Sighing as he knew that this conversation would have to take place sometime, Harry quickly made his way through the throng of students and to Draco's side.

Tugging gently on the blonde boy's arm Harry led him to what was fast becoming 'their' classroom.

"Oh, this looks serious Harry. What's up?"

"I have to talk to you about some things and I feel, the sooner, the better."

"I'm listening."

"We should sit; this is going to take a while."

As the two made themselves comfortable Harry turned to Draco and gave him a weak smile before he started.

"There are a lot of things that you don't know about me Draco, things that I'm not proud of and things that I would like to keep just between the two of us. Master Severus knows but no one else. Do I have your word that you'll speak to no-one of this?"

"I promise you Harry, no one will hear any of what is said here and now from my lips again."

Harry nodded at the solemn promise and continued.

"I'm going to be blunt Draco so you'll have to forgive any _forwardness_. I like you, a lot, and you've taught me so much that I will never be able to express how much you've done for me and have come to mean to me. You've never asked _why_ I call Professor Snape 'Master', and I thank you for not delving deeper for information but I think it's time to tell you of some things I've kept hidden all these years."

Draco stopped fiddling with his robe and gave his full attention to Harry, sensing that this was a very serious matter indeed.

"I've been _hurt_ during my life. Hurt in a way that I hope you'll never be hurt. Master Severus has helped me over the years to realize that what I was taught from a young age is not right and is actually downright _despicable_. I still don't believe him completely, not really, but I know he has my best intentions at heart and will never hurt me the way others have."

The confusion on the blonde's face made Harry realize that he was not explaining himself or what he'd really wanted to tell Draco clearly.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that if we decide to continue on with our relationship you will have to know some of my past and things that I _need_ from a relationship."

"What kind of things?"

"This will sound weird and even crazy to you but it is just what I am and what I need. Because of things that happened when I was younger, before Hogwarts, I need to feel secure in the knowledge that someone will take care of me, help me and guide me to become the best person I can be. Master Severus has been that person for the past six years. He's cared for me, disciplined me when I needed it and even loved me, loved me for who I am. I can't and won't ask that of you Draco because it's something you have no knowledge of. I would put my whole life in your hands and depend on you, trust you, to take care of me and make sure that I grow to be the best I can be."

Draco looked closely at Harry before opening his mouth and asking a question.

"Are you saying that you want to give up complete control of your life, in essence, becoming a slave to someone?"

"No, yes, it's more complicated than that Draco. I won't just roll over and take whatever my Master doles out. I just want to feel secure in the knowledge that someone else has my life in their hands and is there to hold me up when things become to much, that there is someone who cares enough to make sure that I eat, drink, sleep and do whatever else I need to do to be a healthy human being."

Harry stopped there as he just didn't know how to explain to Draco what it was he needed. It was near impossible to explain to someone else that you _wanted_ to submit to someone else, that you _needed_ someone else to take control of your life and be there to help you, discipline you and care for you.

"I don't understand everything Harry and you're right in guessing that I can't be that someone for you. I won't know where to begin! I don't know how you can become, in essence, a slave to someone. Maybe I'll understand later but at the moment I just can't wrap my mind around what you're saying."

Harry smiled sadly at the blonde. He'd known that this was going to happen and the fact that he was not really very hurt by the blonde's refusal to try and work things out puzzled him a bit.

"So you're okay if we don't continue with our _relationship_?"

"Yes Harry, I can understand that you need something more than what I can give you. Know that even though we won't be together anymore, you are still welcome to come to me and talk about anything you want to. We are still friends right?"

"Of course Draco! You're my best friend, I'm just glad that I didn't cause you to run off, screaming that house-elves would have new competition."

They both laughed a bit at that and the tension was broken. While neither of them was exactly _happy_ with how things had turned out they knew that the other needed time to work things out for themselves and respected that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The school year went as expected. Classes were ten times harder than previous years, Professors piled work upon work on them and new relationships formed.

Harry was happy to see that Draco had found a steady boyfriend – Blaize Zabini in Slytherin – and that they both kept true to their word and made the time to talk to each other, about anything and nothing at all. It felt to Harry that their friendship was even stronger than it had ever been now that Draco had a clearer understanding about Harry's life.

Dreams were plaguing Harry's sleep but for once he didn't mind them, not really.

Strong hands caressed his skin while a long, lean body settled over him. Kisses were bestowed all over his chest and neck and Harry gasped and moaned under the sensations.

No matter how many times he'd had the dream he could never see a clear profile of this mysterious lover but knew that he always felt safe with this person.

As Harry closed his eyes on Christmas Eve his dreams were once again of his mystery lover and Harry writhed on the bed as the dream progressed.

**_This is a bit over the top for so if you want to read the whole 'dream', search for my fic on hpfandom or orgasm came upon him like a tidal wave and Harry could feel the body above him stiffen and as his mystery lover found his own release Harry heard his name whispered sensually against his ear._ **

_Harry!_

Harry woke with a gasp to find himself lying flushed on his bed with visible evidence of the dream he had. Something tugged at his mind though; he'd heard that voice whisper his name exactly like that before, where?

---------------------------------------------------------------

Severus slowly opened his eyes and reached for his wand. He knew that he would have to clean himself up after the dream he'd just had. The dreams had become more frequent the past month and Severus was slowly loosing any trace of sanity.

That Harry was right there, that he could take the boy, claim him as his, without anyone the wiser as Harry would certainly not say anything, was something he had to fight with daily.

He would not do that to Harry. He would not take the boy, however willing he might appear to be, Severus knew that there were still too many scars to heal.

This last dream had felt more real, more like it was really Harry in the dream; that they were really touching each other and not some dream image.

It was the first time that Severus woke up from the dream, sated but not yet satisfied. It felt as if a huge part of him was missing.

Shaking himself from his thoughts Severus quickly got up and dressed before he left to make certain that Harry was awake.

He found the boy in the kitchen making breakfast. Greeting Harry with a cordial "Good morning" Severus had to stop himself from kissing those full lips and quickly left the boy to his doings.

The presents were stacked in two neat piles, one for each of them and Severus waited patiently for Harry to finish up.

He had two gifts he wanted to give to Harry but was uncertain about how the one would be received.

They ate their breakfast quickly and silently and as Harry took the dishes to wash them Severus bent down and picked up the first present he wanted to give to Harry, his own gift.

"We can open our presents now and I want you to open this one first. I have another 'gift' which I want to give you but open this one first."

Harry did as he was asked and could not help but gasp as he opened the gift. It was a beautiful necklace with a serpent pendant made of white-gold and sterling silver.

As he picked it up he felt a tingling sensation from where his fingers touched the pendant spread throughout his whole body.

"There are various complex charms on it to repel most hexes and curses. It also has a locating charm on it so if you ever get lost, I will be able to find you as long as you wear the pendant. It also has a locked in invisibly spell on it which will cause the pendant to turn invisible to all eyes whenever it is clasped shut so make sure that if you ever take it off that you don't close it completely or you will have difficulty finding it again as it will repel all summoning charms."

Harry could only nod dumbly as he continued to look at his gift. He knew without a doubt that it was a very expensive gift and that his Master had bought it for _him_ made him realize that any doubt he might have had about his Master's feelings and words toward him was unfounded. His Master would certainly not spend so much money on him if he truly was a freak, would he?

His hands were shaking too much to even hold the necklace steady, never mind clasping it around his neck.

"Come here Harry."

Harry wordlessly went and knelt in front of his Master. Sure fingers took hold of the chain and Harry felt the heavy weight of the pendant settle on his chest.

Tilting his head up Harry was surprised to find that his Master was still bent over him even though the necklace was clasped securely around his neck.

Instinct had Harry lift himself up a bit to place a soft chaste kiss on his Master's cheek.

"Thank you Master Severus. Thank you."

Master Severus gave him the tiniest of smiles before planting his own soft kiss on Harry's forehead. "You're very welcome Harry."

The rest of the presents were opened in companionable silence but Harry could stop touching his necklace.

As the last gift was opened and stored away Harry remembered that his Master had said he had two gifts for Harry this year.

Not really knowing why he was disappointed to find no other gifts, Harry silently cleaned the floor from any wrapping paper and small snippets.

As he stood to go and throw it all away strong arms grabbed him around the waist and with a grunt Harry was seated on his Master's lap.

"I told you that I have another gift for you Harry."

"Yes Master."

"While it is no tangible gift I still wish to give you this option Harry."

Harry looked at his Master. "I'm listening Master."

"While I will certainly never ask you to stop addressing me as Master as I know you need that 'closure', I wish to give you the option to also call me Severus. You are allowed to call me by my name should you wish to but only in private."

Harry stared at his Master with wide bright eyes.

Throwing his arms around the man's neck he hugged him for all he was worth.

"Thank you Master, thank you!"

It might seem like a small gesture but for Harry it symbolized the fact that his Master saw him as more than just another _somebody_. It showed Harry that his Master saw him as an equal with regards to human beings. While he would always be Harry's 'Master' he was also now a friend and companion.

**End Chapter 16**

Harry still wears the collar but as that is more a mark of ownership, I decided to let Sev give him something which could be seen as a real 'present'.

What did you think?

Review please!!!


	10. Dues received and twists

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**AN:** I'll tell you now, _don't_ panic but this story is coming to an end. I've decided that I'm going to stop this fic at the end of seventh year and then start a new fic (which will be the continuation of this one) which will focus mostly on Harry and Sev's lives as Dominant and submissive. I think I'll write the 'sequel' as such that people can read that one alone as well, without having to read this one first as some people are squeaked with Chan and this fic _definitely_ has elements of Chan.

Not sure how many chapters to go till the end, I think about two more after this one…

**Some torture **in this Chapter and some smut, if you want to read the NC-17 version, go to w w w . h p f a n d o m . c o m

Just take out the spaces…

**Chapter 17: Receiving your dues**

READ THE AN'S IF YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE CONTINUING TO READ!!!!

Severus opened Harry's door softly and quickly checked the boy over. He was sound asleep, wrapped up tight in his blankets with his knees drawn up close to his chest. He looked like a small child whose posture unconsciously screamed _"I'm vulnerable! Help me!!"_

Casting a mild sleeping charm _just in case_, Severus closed the door once again and grabbed his coat before exiting his quarters.

Excitement began to build up in him and Severus had to repress the desire to skip around like a hyper teenager.

Oh, he was _so_ going to enjoy this!

Making his way out of the castle and across the grounds to the Gates of Hogwarts, Severus stepped through them and took a deep cleansing breath of the fresh night air.

Whistling once Severus heard the tell tale crack and crunching of bushes and knew without a doubt that his companion had arrived.

With a sharp nod Severus thrust a portkey out and they both disappeared with a resounding 'pop'.

When the world finally stopped spinning Severus looked behind him and ascertaining that his companion was fine if a bit disoriented he started walking down the deserted street.

Houses lined both sides of the street and Severus carefully took note of each house, the number of lights still burning as well as the number of pets he could see guarding the various homes. The dogs could pose a problem but Severus had faith in his companion.

One house stood out above the others by the fact that while all the other homes's lawns were mostly brown with scatters of green in-between, this home's lawn was a bright green and even as Severus made his way up to the house, sprinklers were on, showering grass and plants with water.

Taking a final look around to be sure that no one had noticed the two companions, Severus fished out his wand and with a quick swish the door was open and they entered the darkened house.

Another flick had the lights on the ground floor on and Severus dimmed them a bit to not attract too much attention.

Severus pointed to where he knew the living room was and his companion left silently. Severus made his way upstairs and found the doors on the top floor all open wide which made his work that much easier.

Entering the room of the smaller human rhinoceros, Severus said a quick sleeping charm with just a twist of nightmare inducing hex and put a silencing charm on the room. He'd deal with the boy at a later stage.

Making his way over to the master bedroom Severus once again spelled the occupants into a deep sleep before levitating the both of them down the stairs to where his companion was waiting.

Dropping them none too gently on the floor Severus separated the man and wife and put the wife in the corner of the room. Putting up a spell that would serve as a cage of sorts, he woke the woman up and smirked in satisfaction as all color drained from her face.

"You can scream all you want, no one will hear you. You will watch as we deal with your husband and I promise, by the end of the evening you will beg us to just kill you and be done with it."

The woman wailed soundlessly but every time she tried to step closer to her husband a bright red light flared in front of her and sent a sprawling on the ground. Her hands were scorched red and raw by the electric current and she realized the futility in trying to help her husband who was yet to wake up and realize their situation.

Severus ignored the woman in favor of his 'prey' for the evening.

With a lazy flick and a drawled 'enervate' Vernon Dursley shot awake and immediately began screaming and threatening about this break of an entering.

"Shut up you piece of filth! No one will hear you as this whole house are under a silencing charm which means that no sound can escape or come in from the outside. All the doors are magically locked and sealed, as are the windows, you have no where to go."

Apparently logic was not one of Dursley's most prized talents and the man stormed to his wife in order to help her up and get the hell out of there.

He was flung back against the wall as soon as he entered the 'cage' area Severus had erected.

"Are you really that stupid Dursley or are you trying to be entertaining. I'll admit that it is very amusing to see a whale fly through the air but I'm afraid we are on a tight schedule."

Dursley shook his head to clear it a bit before snarling and storming at Severus himself.

Something caught him before he could reach his target though and as pain registered in his brain, Dursley turned around but any threats or screams died in his throat.

The smell of urine reached Severus's nose and he turned his head in disgust.

"You may release him now Lupin, I doubt he'd try anything _foolish_ again."

A howl was his answer and Severus smirked as he heard teeth being extracted from flesh and bone. That has _got_ to hurt.

The werewolf stepped back as he at last extracted himself from the blubbering man and he rubbed his snout clean on the rug and couch. He was officially _off_ any humans as prey. That was just disgusting. Fat but no meat!

Severus circled the blubbering man and decided that although pain inflicted on bare flesh was usually more effective, he'd safe both himself and the werewolf the abhorrence of having to see rolls and rolls of fat.

"You have violated the boy named Harry Potter in the most despicable ways imaginable. You have used the boy in a way that no human should be used. You have broken his mind to the extent that he _still_ suffers from the consequences today, six years after he was taken from your _care_."

The werewolf whined and Severus took great delight in seeing Dursley shrink away from the beast. Yes, not telling Lupin exactly _why_ he wanted to torture the Dursley family was a brilliant idea. This way the werewolf would act first and rationalize his actions at a later stage. So much more effective than anything else Severu's could have thought of.

"Yes Lupin, let's ask dear Mr Dursley just _what_ he had done to Harry. You want to know don't you?"

Another whine was his answer and the werewolf stepped closer to Dursley.

"Tell him Dursley. You may not realize it but there is a human mind in that werewolf and he understands _everything_ we're saying right now so why don't you go ahead and explain to him just _why_ his adoptive godson is suffering consequences from being under your care. Also, tell him just _what_ those consequences might be, I'm sure you can figure them out for yourself."

"I'm not… I don't, …. didn…diddn't.. do.. anything!"

"We can do this the hard way or the easy way, whichever you prefer Dursley. Either tell us what you used to do to your nephew or I will extract the information from you, limb for limb."

Dursley paled even more before he began stuttering:

"I'm.. he's… he was, is… freak… dirty, filthy little freak… deserved _everything_ he got. Little whore if I ever saw one."

Severus was too late to stop the werewolf and as soon as the wolf heard the word 'whore' he was on Dursley and a piercing shriek resounded in the room.

Blood dribbled down Dursley's front and Severus couldn't help but wince in sympathy, no matter how much he knew the man deserved everything he got, the _man_ in him could not help but sympathize.

Not wanting the man to die just yet, Severus stopped the blood flow with a flick of his wrist but made sure not to dull _any_ of the pain involved.

"You're going to have to wash your mouth out with antiseptics now Lupin. That _thing_ has been in places that I really don't want to know about."

Whether he was referring to the organ Lupin now had in his mouth or Dursley himself couldn't be ascertained but either way, both of those were _things_ in their eyes.

"I think it only fair that you live your life the exact same way you had forced your nephew to live all those years. You will live as a slave, working day and night without food or water. Serving in _any and every_ way your master deems necessary.

I've already taken the liberty to arrange for your new employment and a dear friend of mine has just recently come in need of a new servant. Apparently the old one had been lost; he thinks he might have forgotten to call the poor thing back after ordering it to enter the lion's den he has on his estate. His son had somehow thought it a good idea to taunt the animals with 'live stock' and his dad's newest puppy dog had landed in the den. The servant retrieved the poor dog but my friend apparently forgot to give the servant permission to leave. He even thinks he's seen some shreds of clothing scattered in the den."

Severus scowled in disgust as Dursley once again lost control of himself but reminded himself to inform Lucius that he apparently not only owned lion's but that his servant had been lost to them.

Quickly tiring of the man and those games they were playing, Severus flicked his wand and with a quick incantation Vernon Dursley was no more. In his place was a heavily overweight house elf hobbling around to stay upright. Loosing his battle with gravity, the house elf fell flat on his face and Severus left him to figure out his new situation.

He trusted Lupin to keep an eye on the 'elf' and focused his attention on the woman who was sitting stock still with tears streaming down her face.

Well, he could understand that they did not exactly make a pretty picture at the moment.

"I would almost say that seeing that display was enough punishment for you but I don't believe that you have realized just how you yourself have slighted your nephew."

"With your husband gone I believe that you will have to find work of your own, and soon. You will not be able to tell _anyone_ what had happened here today and will tell everyone that your husband left you during the night. You have no idea where he is, or what he's doing. I'm going to put a spell on both you and your son. Every time you _think_ of having a nice, healthy meal, you will become sick. Every time you think of eating a sweet or any other treat, your stomach would rebel and you'll have to find a toilet quickly. You will only be able to stomach the bare minimum which is exactly what you used to give your nephew. This will continue on for a year and the spell itself will determine whether or not you have learned your lesson. If you have the spell would lift itself and you will be able to return to a normal _healthy_ life, if not, well I don't think I need to explain again."

Petunia Dursley just nodded. She had known that her husband was cruel to her nephew but finding out the exact extent he had gone to… it unnerved her to know that she herself and her beloved son had lived with a child molester all their lives. No matter how much she loved her husband she could not help but feel relieved that he'd be out of their lives now, now that she knew what he was and what he did.

She just prayed that he had not yet touched her Dudley in such a way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus returned to their quarters just before sunrise. Lupin had stayed back at the Shrieking Shack for his transformation back to human and Severus was grateful that he would not be there when Lupin returned to normal. He shuddered to think of what the man would do when the implications of what he had learned finally sunk in.

Lucius had waited for Severus when he took the newly made elf to his new Master and had promised Severus that he would be treated just the same as any other house elf in the house, which was despicable, and suited Severus just fine.

As Severus made his way over to the kitchen to make himself a strong cup of coffee he was surprised to see Harry up and about already.

It was the last week of the school holidays and he had thought that the boy would take advantage of the time he had to sleep in and be lazy.

"Good morning Master Severus, would you like some tea and breakfast?"

"Morning Harry and no, I think this morning I'd rather have a cup of coffee, a _strong_ cup of coffee."

Harry nodded wordlessly and poured his Master the drink.

They settled back in companionable silence and Harry sat down on the floor where he took position in behind his latest challenge. Small puzzle pieces were scattered all over but Harry didn't seem to mind or even notice. Severus just looked on in wonder as Harry continued to build the 2000 piece puzzle. The frame had been the first which Harry had completed and he had since progressed to about a third of the puzzle.

Why anyone would want to sit down and piece a broken thing back together by hand was lost on Severus but as Harry liked it and was even rather good at it, he didn't comment.

He would of course have just taken his wand and whisked everything into place but Harry had told in him no uncertain terms that he was to leave everything be, and that Harry would piece it together by hand as that was the whole objective of the 'game'.

Severus had to admire Harry's keen eye. He would look over the puzzle pieces, pick a few and look them over more closely before he would choose one and insert it where it belonged. More than seventy percent of the time he was correct in his guesses of which piece fitted in where.

The silence between them was broken when Harry finally looked up at Severus and asked the question which had been burning in him for a while now.

"Is he gone for good now?"

There was no need to ask what or who Harry meant as Severus had not exactly kept it a secret that he was planning his revenge on Harry's previous master.

"Yes Harry, he will never be able to hurt a single human being again. At least, not in the way he had, Lupin made sure of that."

Harry winced a bit at that but he said nothing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry scooted over to his Master and settled in next to the man where he laid his head tentatively against the broad shoulder. An arm snaked around his waist and pulled him closer.

Tears streamed down Harry's cheeks, tears of relief, tears of pain, just tears which were shed with the knowledge that the person whom had violated him and abused him as a child would never be able to hurt him again.

Master Severus arranged Harry in such a way that he was seated on his Master's lap with his head against the strong chest and arms around him holding him tight in reassurance.

No words were necessary as Harry knew his Master was there for him and always would be and Severus knew that Harry just needed time to digest everything.

Harry closed his eyes and relaxed in the embrace he was in. He was still tired as he had not slept well without his Master there in the next room to reassure him of his safety.

A lazy smile crept on his face as he felt a kiss pressed on his forehead and he gave himself over to the dreams that waited, knowing that he was safe and that his Master would keep watch over him.

_Harry gasped as his mouth was claimed in a demanding kiss. He tried to move his hands but found that he couldn't. As soon as the mouth left his he looked up and could see that they were loosely tied to the headboard with satin strips. He did not panic as he knew he could put a stop to everything that was happening with one word and that the word would be respected for what it was._

(NC-17 version follows, can be found on – 'link' in AN at beginning of chapter.)

"_You're beautiful when you come, did you know that?"_

_Harry looked up at the voice and just stared for a while._

_When finally his mouth, brain and vocal cords were all in accord he could only say one thing._

"_Severus!"_

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus woke up with a gasp. Another one of those dreams. He did not mind them, not really, but if things continued like this he was going to go stark crazy.

Shifting to find his wand Severus realized that something was terribly wrong.

He was not in his bed. There was a slight weight on his side and lap and as Severus looked down he remembered that Harry had fallen asleep on his lap.

What did he do now?

He did _not_ want to wake the boy right now, there was too much damning evidence of his dream and he was not sure how Harry would take the knowledge that his Master, his Professor, had an orgasm with him on his lap.

With growing horror Severus realized that he would not have to wake the boy as he was already awake and as Harry looked up into Severus's eyes a blush crept on the boy's cheeks before he hastily got up and rushed to the bathroom.

Just as the door closed behind the boy Severus's brain registered that he was no the only one who needed a cleansing spell or wet towel.

**End Chapter 17**

**Chapter 18: Twists and Turns**

Harry was mortified. He finally finds out who the mysterious lover in his dreams are and then what should happen… he wakes up on said lover's lap!!

That his mysterious lover is none other than his Master just complicates things even more.

Shaking his head slightly Harry focused back on what he was doing, cleaning any evidence of just _what_ type of dream he'd had.

School would begin again in less than a week and Harry still had some papers to finish for his classes, so, taking a deep breath Harry opened the bathroom door and stepped out, scanning the room he realized that his Master was not there and hurried over to his own bedroom.

Donning some casual clothes and then a robe over that Harry went to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

Master Severus entered a while later with a slight flush on his face. Harry couldn't look at his Master for too long without blushing and so he opted to concentrate solely on putting together a healthy meal.

"I had at first considered not telling you the whereabouts of the _thing_ that used to be Vernon Dursley but as some complications have arisen, I will tell you."

Harry looked up at his Master and couldn't quite suppress all the fear which was coursing through his body.

Master Severus stood up and took the seat next to Harry.

"I promise you Harry, that _monster_ will never harm you again. You have nothing to fear of him, not anymore. I believe that where he is now will be very trying and frustrating for him. Although nothing can excuse what happened to you, what he _did_ to you, the environment Dursley finds himself in now will definitely _not_ be favorable."

Harry felt himself burning with curiosity but whatever he had expected it was _not_ what his Master told him.

"I transfigured him into a house elf." Harry choked on the sip he had taken but his Master wasn't finished yet. "Lupin was with me at the time and I'm afraid that learning what had happened to you in that home came as a bit of a _shock_ to him. That's why I said that he won't be able to hurt _anyone_ the way he had hurt you Harry, Lupin took care of that."

Harry shuddered as a visual picture became clear in his mind and he quickly suppressed it in fear of loosing his breakfast.

"Still, I felt that he had not learned his lesson well enough. Dursley now finds himself in the employ of the Malfoys. I can guarantee you that that is something _no one_ would which of their own house elf. The Malfoy's are quite _vicious_."

Harry took all this in but something nagged at his mind. Something about the Malfoy's and his Master. What was it?

"That is where the reason for me telling you comes in. Lucius will need our help in the near future and I do not wish, nor do I like, to keep this from you."

Sitting up straight, Harry could hear that this was something important to his Master and he gave his undivided attention.

"Lucius have asked me to brew a potion for him, or more specifically, for his wife; Narcissa. After Narcissa's last miscarriage they had decided to delve a bit deeper and figure out just _what_ the reason was for the miscarriages."

Thinking back on what Draco had told him Harry felt guilt rise up as he realized that he had completely forgotten about that.

"Suspicion had begun burn in them both and a startling realization by Narcissa had set them on the right path. None of her friends, Mrs Parkinson, Mrs Bullstrode, Mrs Nott, no-one have more than one child. Most of them in fact, have children the same age as you and young Draco."

That was something that Harry had also noticed but had never given it more than a fleeting thought, he kicked himself for it now.

"Narcissa went to a specialist after they decided that it went deeper than just 'coincidences'. The specialist, a Medic Hendrickson, found traces of a very potent and very illegal potion in Narcissa's bloodstream. He could not identify it exactly but there was little doubt that it was the cause of her miscarriages."

Harry hadn't even realized that he was shaking before his Master pulled him closer and kept a strong arm around his waist.

"The Medic prescribed a specific potion, also not completely legal, that would be able to identify the potion in Narcissa's bloodstream, and, if the potion already in her system is found to be detrimental to her or any offspring she might wish to have, it will combat the potion and expel it from her body."

Digesting the information Harry asked a question which was burning in his throat;

"Will the potion hurt Mrs Malfoy? Is it dangerous to or for her?"

Master Severus sighed a bit but tightened his hold on Harry.

"We don't know Harry. It might just combat the potion in such a way as to overpower it and nothing would happen, they won't even know if it had worked until they once again try for another baby but, it might also try to combat the potion in her bloodstream in such a way that it reacts very negatively and force the potion through her veins and body in search of an outlet, when none is found it could cause severe damage or even disfigurements. We are hopeful that it will be something along the lines of the first option."

Harry shuddered as various scenarios raced through his head and he thanked whoever was listening that he was not the one infected or even 'affected' by this. He wasn't _that_ close to the Malfoys.

"Do they know how Mrs Malfoy came to be infected with the potion in the first place?"

Harry looked up at his Master when the man didn't answer after a minute.

"They believe that it could have been The Dark Lord."

Horror flashed across Harry's face which quickly morphed into confusion. Why would Voldemort want to harm his followers in such a way? Did he not want even _more_ obedient little Death Eaters?

His Master must have seen the unasked question in his eye for he answered it then.

"This is only speculation but as most, if not all Death Eaters, have only one child, Lucius believes that the Dark Lord had 'infected' the woman with the potion to insure his own 'safety'."

Even more confusion etched on Harry's face and his Master smiled a half smile at him.

"Yes, I know, not exactly what you'd expect but this is what Lucius, Narcissa and I have come up with.

You remember the prophecy right? Well, even though it said that the child born as the seventh month dies will be his downfall, it never once stated a specific year. Everyone just assumed it was in reference to that same year. After talking it through we've come to the realization that the Dark Lord was more than just _paranoid_, he was egotistical and selfish. We believe that he did not want to take the chance that his _downfall_ will be a child born from one of his own followers and so he insured that none of his followers would be able to conceive again. Those followers who've only now joined the ranks are not affected by this potion which just fuels our believe; what's more, almost half the women in his force are pregnant or already have a child now. It looks like he's trying to make up for all the followers he had _lost_ by his own doings."

Breathing hard Harry tried to calm himself down. That someone would be so, so… _cruel_ as to take away a person's chance for a happy family…; It was just too close to home and Harry couldn't stop the tears racing down his cheeks.

Master Severus pulled him onto his lap and Harry burrowed his head in the strong chest. He just hoped that his Master would not mind _too_ much if he first tortured Voldemort with visions of children climbing over him and biting, scratching and kicking him with Voldemort tied, bound and gagged, before killing him.

Harry quickly shook his head from the images and wondered just _when_ he had turned as cruel as to wish that on another human being.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus looked down at the tousled head laid against his chest. He had not really wanted to tell Harry about everything Lucius had discussed with him but as he would need Harry's help and for him to trust his judgment concerning Lucius, he had no choice.

Rage filled him once again as he thought of just how far The Dark Lord had gone in order to keep himself 'safe'. He knew the _man_ was cruel and unforgiving but to do something like this to his own followers… it was something Severus was having a hard time comprehending.

Severus did not know exactly how long they sat there, just holding each other and enjoying the silent company they provided but as his bladder made itself known he reluctantly pushed Harry up again and excused himself.

He returned minutes later to find Harry sitting on the couch with a pensive look on his face. Sitting down softly next to Harry so as not to disturb the boy's thoughts he waited until Harry blinked and looked at him with bright shining eyes.

"I was just thinking, if Voldemort, err. The Dark L.."

"It's okay Harry, you can say his name now, whatever you did to this mark, it no longer causes me any pain, not even when you say his name."

Harry smiled up at him and Severus pulled the boy close as he continued.

"Well, if Voldemort could slip a potion into a number of women's drinks unnoticed, is there any way that we could do something along the same lines to him?"

Severus thought about it. It might be possible. It will be hard to make a potion completely imperceptible and undetectable but he thought that he might be able to do it. To get it to Voldemort and get him to actually _drink_ it or something with the potion in it, that would be another matter entirely.

"It might be possible to make a potion unnoticeable and untraceable but to get The Dark Lord to ingest it; that would be a whole other problem."

Harry looked at him then with what could only be called a _devilish_ expression.

"Is Mr Malfoy's position compromised in any way?"

Severus smirked as he caught on to what Harry was thinking.

"No, I believe he is still The Lord's right hand man and as he would owe me a _favor_ for creating the potion that would –hopefully- cure his wife and solve their problem of having more children, he might just do it for us. Now, what did you have in mind Harry?"

"Well, it's not exactly a potion Master as I only know of the muggle version. My u..uncle used it on me a few times. It's a drug that renders a person completely 'useless' if I can call it that. You are not able to move or scream or _anything_, but your thoughts are not influenced in any way. You see, hear and feel exactly what is going on but can do nothing to stop the situation or influence it in your favor."

Severus had never heard of anything like it and shuddered as he thought of just how helpless one would be. With "Petrificus", one is able to combat the spell or defend against it as your magic will rise to protect you, and it dissipates after ten minutes in any case. With the muggle _durgs_ or whatever Harry had called it, one would not be able to fight against it as it was not anything _magical_ you had to fight against.

It might just work.

Leaning down, Severus didn't even stop to think of what he was doing and as his lips connected with the soft, slightly chapped ones of Harry he felt himself melt into the couch.

Harry's soft sigh brought conscious thought back to him and Severus couldn't stop the horror he felt of what he had just done to cross his face.

The serenity on Harry's features quickly morphed into pain and before Severus could stop him the boy had stood and rushed to his room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

As his Master bent down Harry was lost in those eyes and the feelings building up inside him. When Master Severus pulled back though, Harry could see horror creeping up in his Master's face and the pain that realization caused went straight through Harry's chest and he suddenly found it hard to breathe.

Scrambling as quickly as he could, he rushed to his room where he closed it and locked it with every locking, silencing and privacy spell he knew.

Crashing down to his knees he replayed the last few moments over and over in his mind.

They had sat together for a whole while, had talked and plotted together and then…. then… his Master had kissed him. _Kissed_ him! _On the mouth!!_

It had been heaven.

To look at his Master then and find his face contorting with horror had not really surprised Harry as much as he thought it should have but it hurt, oh did it hurt!

He didn't know how long he stayed there on the floor but as he tried to get up and move over to the bed his legs gave out and Harry decided that the floor was as good a place as any to rest, just for a little while!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Severus pounded on Harry's door but either the boy had put up numerous silencing charms – which he would bet his life on – or he was just ignoring Severus – which hurt to just think about for the boy would not answer no matter the threats Severus shouted through the locked door.

He cursed himself for his foolish actions and resignation set in as he knew that Harry would never forgive him and would definitely not want to live with him anymore.

Focusing on something a bit less _emotional charged_, Severus settled himself on one of the couches with a mug of steaming tea while he plotted and planned their _attack_ on the Dark Lord.

Should they succeed, they would be able to do just about _anything_ to the mad man. The smirk that crossed his face - as he thought of everything he would like to do to the monster - didn't leave his face until he went to bed that evening.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucius Malfoy contemplated the man before him. They had been friends of a sort while at school and after, well, they were close _acquaintances_.

"I will endeavor to help you with this _project_ if, and only _if_ you are able to cure my wife of any _detrimental_ potions or tonics in her body."

Severus smirked at him but nodded his assent.

"Explain to me again just what this fascinating muggle invention does?"

Lucius sat back and listened as his _friend_ explained to him just what the effects was and how it worked.

Severus had refused to tell him where he had come to learn of it and how it worked but from the way the man talked and the examples he gave, Lucius had a feeling that it was not a _pleasant_ way to find out about the muggle invention.

"When do you wish for me to _slip_ this into our…, forgive me, my Lord's drink?"

"I think it best to do so at the end of the school year or whenever he plans to attack once again. I will first have to see if I can create a duplicate to it - but in a potion - as I'm afraid that the muggle one might not be as 'inconspicuous' as a potion would be."

Lucius nodded understandingly and the conversation drifted to lesser topics. He was delighted to inform Severus that his new slave had been the best entertainment he'd had in a very long time.

That the little fool creature would even _think_ of talking back to him was astonishing but that the thing had then gone even further and _refused_ to do any of the house work…. well, let's just say that the fool creature had learned his lesson well, very well.

"You did not inform me about his ahh.. _condition_ when you dropped him off Severus."

"I thought it would be even more entertaining for you to find that out for yourself. It's regretful that you won't be able to _breed_ more house-elves off of him but I'm afraid there was little I could do. I value my life and did not wish to step in between that _thing_ and a werewolf set on revenge."

"Ah, I think I understand now. So my little slave has a connection with the Potter brat does he?"

"I'll ask you kindly not to refer to my apprentice as such while in my presence. I will not be held accountable for my actions should you overstep the line."

Lucius watched Severus closely and nodded as he realized how serious the man was. He would have no qualms about coming through on his threats and Lucius knew that Severus could be just as cruel and vindictive as he himself.

There was clearly something more to the Potter brat but Lucius would let it go for now. No reason to antagonize Severus even more than he already had.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry whimpered soundlessly in his bed. His dreams had once again turned to those of his 'dream lover' but even as that sinful mouth took him whole, another picture entered his dreams and chased those away.

Master Vernon stood next to his bed and watched with greedy eyes as some nameless person took position and entered Harry forcefully.

He had been horrified to realize just how helpless he was when the drug began to affect him and no amount of willpower had saved him from his fate.

Just as the man was nearing completing Harry became aware of a strong presence behind him but as he was unable to move he did not know who it was.

Rocking motions shook his body and the man using his body so viciously began to fade as soothing words flowed over him.

"You're safe. It's all right. Only a dream."

Harry tensed as he realized he was held firmly in a strong embrace but as he recognized his Master's voice, Master _Severus's_ voice he relaxed further and burrowed back into the warmth of the man behind him.

As the last traces of sleep left him, Harry realized just where he was and who was with him.

Tensing, Harry tried to extract himself from Master Severus's embrace but the man would not let go and in fact only held him tighter.

"Hush Harry. It's okay, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I care for you. I'm not going anywhere."

Harry turned around so he could face his Master.

"You love me?"

"Of course I do!"

"You say you love me but you're too disgusted with me to even _think_ about having a physical relationship with me. You love me, but you're horrified when you kiss me? How can that be love? How can you hold me here, tight and warm but inside you're just disgusted with the fact that you have to touch me yet again? How? Tell me how?!!!"

Harry looked up at his Master but his eyes were too blurred with tears to make out the expression on the man's face.

The silence stretched and just as Harry pulled back to get away, maybe even run away, a hot breath ghosted over his lips right before his Master's lips claimed his own in a demanding, promising kiss that literally took Harry's breath away.

As Master Severus pulled back for breath Harry looked up and found that his eyes were no longer blurred and that he could see the man's expression as clear as day.

What he saw was not an expression of disgust as he had expected but one of love, warmth and promise.

Closing his eyes in an attempt to fight all the confusing feelings rushing through him Harry just leaned back when his Master pulled him flush against his chest.

Okay, so maybe he had been wrong about his Master. Maybe.

**End Chapter 18**

Sorry it's short but I'm working on another story as well that I will post in conjunction with the sequel to this one.

I'm not sure how many chapters there will be before this one comes to an end as I've pulled in that twist with the Malfoy's, which had not been in the planning before… Maybe 3 more? Something around that.

Also, even though Harry had warded his door, Severus _could_ open it if he put enough power into the counter spells, he just didn't want to intrude on Harry's privacy if Harry did not wish it. Thus, when Harry didn't answer his door, Sev resigned himself to the fact that Harry wanted to be left alone.

So, what did you think?


	11. My Master, my protector

**Title:** Life as I know it

**Summary:** This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.

**Warnings:** BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.

**Author's Note: **I dedicate this chapter to Sabrina who has been absolutely _wonderful_ in assisting me with this fic and the concepts pertaining to a Dom/sub relationship. Thank you Sabrina! You've been a great help and I look forward to more correspondence between us when I write the sequel.

_As Master Severus pulled back for breath Harry looked up and found that his eyes were no longer blurred and that he could see the man's expression as clear as day._

_What he saw was not an expression of disgust as he had expected but one of love, warmth and promise._

_Closing his eyes in an attempt to fight all the confusing feelings rushing through him Harry just leaned back when his Master pulled him flush against his chest._

_Okay, so maybe he had been wrong about his Master. Maybe._

**Chapter 19: My Master, my protector**

Harry kept mostly to himself the last few days of the holidays. He still sat with Master Severus when they ate or when he was relaxing in the living room, building his puzzle but other than that he tried to steer clear of the man. Not because he was angry at his Master or anything but because he didn't know what to think or feel at the moment. Whenever he saw his Master he just wanted the man to take him in his arms and kiss him senseless or even just hold him forever and ever.

On the last day of their 'solitude', Harry bid his Master good day and stated that he was going to the Headmaster. Harry was very grateful that his Master didn't ask why he wanted to see the old man.

Making his way through the hallways and up the stairs Harry took a good look around him and slowed his pace in order to enjoy the magic of the castle, he didn't know how long he would still be able to just 'bask' in the feeling of the magnificent castle. School was just one more term – except of course for the Easter weekend but as very few people went home at that time he didn't consider it as a real holiday, just a very, very long weekend.

His musings was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the ugly stone gargoyles, okay so they didn't just appear but Harry only noticed them then.

Harry stood and stared at them for a while. He only now realized just how foolish his little exertion really was. He didn't know the password, didn't really know the headmaster all that well and wasn't even certain if he was the right person to pose his questions to.

Just as he was about to turn around and call himself ten times the fool the stone creature moved aside and the stairwell up to the office was visible.

Squaring his shoulders, Harry took a deep breath and climbed the stairs.

The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk, paging through some leaflets.

"Ah, good morning Harry, what can I help you with today?"

Harry smiled at the old man but politely declined the tea and treats he was offered.

He had long since learned from ramblings by his Master that 'the old coot' was prone to dose his tea with calming potions and his treats with cheering drops.

Harry did not want to find out what type of foolish things he would do or say should he accept one or even _both_ of those.

"Good morning headmaster. I er, ummm, I was wondering.."

As he sat there relaxing in a chair right in front of the headmaster, Harry felt like a fool. That he even considered taking up the man's time for something as trivial as one question, he didn't know what to say or how to ask the question.

"What is it dear boy? No need to fret child, I have the time now and I can clearly see that there is a definite reason for why you came to see me."

"Er.. I was wondering sir, do you maybe know, well, of course you do but, could you maybe tell me sir, when is my Ma.. Professor Snape's birthday?"

Harry didn't know whether or not to feel affronted or join in when the headmaster laughed a bit.

"Dear child, you worried about asking me when your Apprentice Master celebrates his birthday? No need to fret my boy, I'm happy to answer this question for you, or any others you might have for that matter."

Harry smiled gratefully at the man but the smile quickly left his face as he realized that he would not have a lot of time to search for the perfect gift.

Nine January was right around the corner and he would have to hasten if he wanted to find that perfect gift.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus had never in his life been so nervous. Not even on the day of his initiation in the Dark Lord's fold had he been this nervous. That one, innocent boy could raise this feeling in him scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The day had passed as any other day; he had awoken before dawn as was his norm, had poured himself a mug of coffee and sat pondering his life and the turns it had taken since Harry had come to live with him.

Harry had greeted him when he had finally decided to wake and get out of bed and had then proceeded to make them a generous breakfast.

Breakfast had been better than he had ever had before, with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, slices of cheese and pork sausages. There had also been some cereal with yoghurt; "If Master wishes to have this instead" had been the answer to his raised eyebrow.

He had chalked it up to a display of 'affection' from Harry's side and they had enjoyed the meal together.

For the rest of the day Harry had hardly left his side. When he was reading a book, Harry was there close by fiddling with puzzle pieces and muttering under his breath. If he stood to get a glass of water or anything else, Harry would jump up and literally push him back in his seat before hurrying to fetch whatever it was that Severus wanted.

It was puzzling behavior and it had made Severus nervous which was why he was standing there in the doorway to his rooms with a paper clasped firmly in his hands, watching Harry's every move. The nervousness slowly turned to excitement as Severus thought of what would happen when Harry saw what he had. Hope had begun building in his chest since that kiss they had shared and no matter how hard Severus tried to suppress it, the hope had blossomed fully. He did not even want to _think_ of what should happen if everything did not go according to his dreams and wishes. He would be devastated but he had promised himself that no matter what Harry said, he would not force the boy into anything.

Severus was startled when he felt a hand hesitantly touch his arm. Looking down he found Harry looking up at him with concern.

"I'm fine Harry, was there something you needed?"

Harry blushed bright red then and Severus was hard pressed to keep from pulling the lip - which Harry was abusing with his teeth - out and suck it into his own mouth.

"I er.. you, I, er… Happy birthday Master Severus."

Severus had definitely not been expecting that and could do nothing but stare at Harry for a while.

When a hand insistently pushed a square package in his ribs he looked away from Harry's face and grasped the hand which held what could only be a present for him.

He led Harry over to the couch and pulled him up on his lap where he then proceeded to open the present with a bit of Harry's help. He could have done it on his own but he wanted Harry to share this with him, even though it was _his_ birthday, he wanted to share it and every birthday to come with Harry.

Severus could see Harry worrying his bottom lip again out of the corner of his eye but decided to focus on what his little submissive had given him rather than those full pink lips which just invited him to nibble on them.

Severus didn't know what to expect from Harry, he had not expected anything really as he hadn't known that Harry knew when his birthday was but now that he thought about it, Harry had probably gone to the headmaster that day a week ago to ask the old man that exact question.

As he opened the box and looked inside his breath caught in his throat. It was not that it was a magnificent piece of jewelry or some other such treasure, no, it was a photo of him and Harry relaxing in their quarters; Harry was on the floor in front of him leaning back against Severus's legs with a book open before him. Severus himself was sat on the couch with one hand in Harry's hair and the other holding some book or another. It was just a photo of an everyday occurrence for them but to see it captured in a moment which would last forever made it seem all the more real. Even if they should move apart, Severus would always have that one moment to hold onto and it meant the world to him that Harry had thought of such a wonderful gift. He lifted the frame out of the box and held it at eye level.

Harry, whom had been resting against him shifted a bit and Severus could feel the smile forming against his chest.

Severus bent his head and placed a loving kiss on Harry's head.

"Thank you Harry, it is wonderful."

Harry looked up at him with a smile but as Severus lowered his hand to put the box down Harry stopped him.

"There's something else in there."

Severus looked at him quizzically. The box was light and felt empty, he could not think of what could still be in there and weigh so little.

He brought the box closer so he could see inside and found a folded piece of parchment.

Opening it he looked down in shock at Harry who was now looking up at him apprehensively.

He could not believe what he was seeing:

_i harry james potter, hereby offer my obedience and welfare to my chosen Master, Severus Snape. i make this offer with the intent that i wish to serve my Master and continue to grow as the best person i can be for my Master. i entrust my health and safety to Master Severus and believe that He is capable of looking out for my best interests and care. i believe that through my service i will be able to explore my personality and believe that Master Severus is best suited to maintaining the strict discipline i need in order to grow. In good faith i make this pledge. Signed. **harry james potter**_

Severus read it over twice to make sure that he understood just exactly what he was seeing.

"You wish to stay with me? You wish for me to become your Dominant in all the ways of life?"

Harry nodded slowly and Severus could see the uncertainty in the young man's face.

Severus bent his head down and gave in to the urge he'd been fighting all week. Harry's lips were as sweet as he remembered them being. Cradling the head in his one hand he nudged Harry with his other until the boy had turned around completely and was now straddling his lap.

When they broke away again Severus reached out with his one hand to the papers he had been holding before Harry had surprised him with his gifts.

"I was going to ask you the same thing tonight. I have here a 'Bill of Rights' for submissives as well as a contract I wish you to read through carefully before signing. If anything is unclear, you may ask me about it. If you do not wish to enter such a relationship or if the contract is to strict or formal, tell me and we can work something out."

The worry which had entered Harry's face when Severus had first read the little piece of parchment had now gone completely and he smiled happily at Severus.

"Read both forms out loud for me and if you don't understand something, stop and ask."

Harry looked up at him and consented with a soft "Yes, Master."

_**A Submissive's Bill of Rights **_

_I have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do I have this right, I have the right to demand it. I have the right to expect my decisions to be treated with respect and you to not think less of me, or abandon me for them. I have the right to respect myself._

_I have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected. I have the right to adjust these limits at any time, with notice to you. I have the right to expect my limits to be pushed and to be forced to create new limits for myself._

_I have the right to be proud of what I am. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring me shame or feelings of reproach. My submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness._

_I have the right to my emotions and feelings. I have the right to express both negative and positive feelings._

_I have the right to privacy. I am my own person and have the right to see to my own personal problems._

_I have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away my right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that I feel strongly opposed to, it's my duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES._

_I have the right to use my safe words at any point, should I feel them necessary._

_I have the right to have input in a relationship. I am an active partner in any relationship I enter and have every right to contribute to it. A relationship that doesn't include my needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one I should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships._

_I have the right to ask you for help, should I need it. _

_I have the right to be trusted, providing I have earned it, and I have the right to expect you to believe that I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person. _

_I have the right to expect you to administer my punishment with care and caution._

_I have the right to expect our relationship to progress, for trust to continually be renewed, for our souls to be as close as our bodies are._

_I have the right to tell you if I need more from you, and I expect you to respect my decisions about what I want and need. I expect for you to want the relationship to progress, unless decided otherwise before hand. I expect you to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and I expect not to be repelled if I tell you that I love you. For, my Master, I will love you, should our relationship move ahead, should our trust continue to grow. _

_I have the right to expect you to tell me, at any point, if you do not feel you can return those feelings, so that I may decide what I want and need. For it is your pleasure that adds to my own, makes it real. And mine, that adds to yours._

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry looked up at his Master after reading the first piece of parchment.

"These are my rights? I have the right to ask all of this from you and for you to respect them?"

He could not believe what he was seeing and reading. The years he had spent with Master Severus had been wonderful and Harry had always thought that his Master was too lenient with him, gave him too much leeway. This 'Bill of rights' was an eye opener for him.

"Yes Harry. You have the right to each and every thing on that list and I expect you to honor them and uphold them. Do you understand?"

Harry swallowed hard. This was so much. He had never thought he would have the right to demand such things of his Master.

"I have the contract here as well Harry and I wish for you to read it out loud as you did with the 'Bill of rights'."

Harry nodded dazedly and took the parchment his Master held out for him.

_**Contract of service**_

_I, harry james potter, with a free mind and an open heart; do request of Severus Snape that He accept the submission of my will unto His and to take me into His care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The satisfaction of His wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to Him. To that end, I offer Him use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that, as my Master, He accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of O/our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. To achieve this, He may have unfettered use of my body any time, any place, in front of anyone; to keep or to give away, as He will determine. _

_I ask that He guide me in any sexual, sensual, or scene-related behavior, both together with, and separate from Him, in such a way as to further my growth as a person._

_I request of Severus Snape, as my Master, that he use the power vested in His role; to mold and shape me; assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence, and being, and that He continue to help me to develop my artistic and intellectual abilities._

_In return, I agree:_

_To obey His commands to the best of my ability._

_To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Him and limit my growth as His submissive._

_To maintain honest and open communication._

_To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment._

_To inform Him of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that He is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied._

_To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals._

_To work with Him to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual._

_To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims._

_My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential._

_This I, harry james potter, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given._

_Should either of U/us find that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, E/either may do so by verbal notification to the O/other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this agreement. W/we both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of O/our relationship as friends and lovers. Upon cancellation, each of U/us agrees to offer to the other H/his or her reasons and to assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly._

_This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of O/our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both O/our lives._

_I offer my consent to submission to Severus Septimus Snape under the terms stated above on this the day of in the year ._

_Signature of Submissive_

_I offer my acceptance of submission by harry james potter under the terms stated above on this the day of in the year ._

_Signature of Dominant _

--------------------------------------------

Severus discussed the contract as well as the 'Bill of rights' with Harry and explained anything that he did not understand. By the end of the evening they were both tired but happy.

Harry had agreed to the terms of the contract and it was agreed that should he at any time feel that he wanted or needed to change something within the contract that he could come to Severus and they would discuss it and make the changes as necessary.

The signed contract lay on the table and Severus kept glancing at it just to make sure that it was real and that he was not dreaming.

Severus looked down at Harry where he lay with his head in Severus's lap. The evening had taken a lot out of Harry but Severus was very grateful for the fact that they had taken the time to talk and work everything out. It was the best birthday present he could ever have wished for.

The flare in the fireplace let Severus know that someone wished to either come through or speak to him.

He gently lifted Harry's head and extracted himself from underneath the boy.

Waving his wand once at the fireplace he heard a voice state the name 'Lucius Malfoy' and opened his wards to allow the man to speak to him.

"Evening Severus."

"Lucius"

"Everything is set. The Dark Lord has mentioned to me that he wishes to capture Potter during the last Hogsmead weekend of the year.

If you give me that potion you mentioned, I will be sure to 'slip' it in one of his drinks prior to our leaving that day."

Severus lifted an eyebrow. He had not expected the Dark Lord to act so soon. The last Hogsmead weekend was usually before the NEWT exams which meant the attack would take place somewhere in April or May, depending on when the Hogsmead trip was.

"Thank you for informing me Lucius. If you could wait one moment, I have finished the potion for your wife and will collect it for you."

Severus was back in moments with a very ghastly looking potion.

"She has to drink one sip every fifteen minutes until the bottle is finished, more than one sip at a time would not be detrimental to her health but it might influence the efficiency of the potion."

"I understand, thank you Severus."

Severus waved away the thanks and the two talked for a few minutes more before Lucius said his goodbyes.

"I will stay in contact and as soon as I have perfected the little 'gift' for your Lord I will contact you and we can discuss when and how you should 'deliver' it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the year went by at an agonizingly slow pace for Harry. He had been very distracted since the signing of the contract and not even the pending NEWT exams could hold his attention for long.

The kiss Master Severus had bestowed on him that night had not been the last but his Master refused to do anything more than kiss before Harry graduates.

That was what led Harry to being distracted. The thought of his Master's hands on him, rubbing him the way he had only ever dreamed about resulted in Harry walking around with a raging hard-on eighty percent of the time.

The Monday that Professor Dumbledore announced a Hogsmead weekend was the first day that Harry was able to focus on something other than his Master. Master Severus had informed him of the plan he had discussed with Lucius Malfoy and Harry felt anxiety building as he thought of what could and most probably would happen that weekend.

Master Severus had perfected a potion which would serve as a 'replacement' of the muggle drug and had given it to Lucius Malfoy the week before with instructions to wait until he heard from Severus before initiating their plan.

The only thing that kept Harry from going insane with worry that week was Draco's profound happiness in finding out that his mother was three months pregnant and that everything looked well for both her and the baby.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The battle around him looked eerily familiar and Harry realized after a few minutes that it looked a lot like the battle he had 'seen' when he had faced the boggart years ago.

Scanning the chaos around him he sought out his Master's tall frame and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw him 'dueling' with Lucius Malfoy.

The curses they sent at each other were vicious but Harry could see that neither of them paid special care to cast it with the intention to hit their targets. Quite a few of the spells 'missed' their targets and the others were all reflected by shields.

The battle had progressed from a small fight between a few wizards to every Death Eater available for summons and every Order member available.

Master Severus had told Harry that the potion had a _delayed_ 'trigger' and that as soon as Voldemort left his 'lair' by any means of magical transportation the potion will begin to take effect and should be spread throughout his bloodstream within fifteen minutes of apparating or port-keying or whatever else he decided to do.

Voldemort had joined the battle around ten minutes ago and was currently dueling fiercely with Dumbledore whom had been at the ready for such a situation because of a prior warning from Master Severus.

Harry himself had been mostly left alone and he thought that it might have been on order from Voldemort that the Death Eaters left him alone.

Some stray curses had missed him by mere inches and Harry kept vigil for any young rookie who might want to challenge him to a duel.

A commotion to his right brought his attention to that direction and Harry could see Voldemort swaying slightly as if a strong wind was blowing through the air intending to nock him over.

The headmaster had stopped his castings but kept his wand at the ready in order to defend himself at any time.

Voldmort suddenly stumbled and fell to his knees. The Death Eaters in the immediate vicinity stopped their own battles and raced forward to aid their master.

"Stop! Leave me to deal with the old fool and the Potter brat. Take care of everyone else."

Harry just shook his head at the foolishness of the statement. He knew that if he had been in Voldemort's position and if he actually _wanted_ to inflict pain or death he would have ordered it to be done and swiftly, not take the chance that something could happen just because of self pride.

The Death Eaters backed away even as Voldemort fell boneless to his side.

The potion had worked as Harry had described the muggle drug would work. Voldemort could not move a muscle and could not fight it with magic as it was not magically induced.

The irony, that something which Voldemort hated with such a passion should be his downfall was not lost on Harry.

Professor Dumbledore stepped closer to Harry and Master Severus appeared on the other side of Voldemort.

"Together." Professor Dumbledore said with a somewhat poignant expression and tone.

No matter who, Dumbledore would always treasure life and to destroy this _being_ in front of them was taking a lot out of the old man.

They incanted an old 'exorcism ritual' and Harry could actually _see_ the blackness which had surrounded Voldemort's soul lift out of the still body on the ground before it ignited in a blinding white fire.

Harry's eyes burned as he opened them and he cursed himself for not closing them sooner.

Professor Dumbledore told them that he would deal with what was left of Voldemort, Harry thought he heard the old man mutter something about an _asylum_.

The battle around them had stopped completely and as everyone realized what happened they scattered. Death Eaters lifted fallen comrades and apparated out; Aurors took down some of the Death Eaters that tried to escape and Order members knelt down by those who were hurt but still alive.

The adrenaline which had kept him going was slowly leaving him and Harry felt like he would faint.

Strong arms around him kept him upright and he smiled weakly up at his Master whom suggested that they get back to the castle to attend to their injuries.

Harry agreed without protest.

The way back was quiet as Harry leaned heavily against his Master's side. He was not grievously hurt but the emotional rollercoaster he had gone through the past few weeks made him _crave_ the affection and attention of his Master.

Harry blinked a few times as he realized they had already reached their chambers in the dungeons.

Master Severus bade him to go wash up and clean any open wounds which would then be tended to.

After a luxurious half hour bath Harry made his way to his bedroom but half way there he was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"You may join me if you wish."

It was stated as somewhat of a request and Harry smiled brightly at his Master before following the man to his bedroom.

Master Severus tended to Harry's wounds with love and care and Harry soon found himself drowsing.

Harry didn't even realize when his Master left to tend to his own wounds but he woke a bit groggily when he felt a strong arm encircle his waist and he snuggled back against the strong chest.

"You are safe now Harry and I will protect you, always."

Harry smiled sleepily at the words and brought his hand down to cover the one holding him around the waist. _Hmmmm. My Master, my protector._ he thought as he fell in the most peaceful sleep he had ever experienced.

Severus himself couldn't help but think; "This is how it should be, this is where he belongs - In my arms where I can always protect him, both from himself and from others."

**End Chapter 19**

**This is the end of 'Life as I know it'**.

I will start posting the sequel as soon as I know what I want to do with it… ;)

**I want to thank _all_ my reviewers for your wonderful words of encouragement and praise. I would never have been able to write this fic without your inputs and support.**

-----------------------------------------------

I've combined two 'Bills of rights' that I found on the internet and then modified it to 'create' my own. I don't own this 'Bill of rights' and used it only as reference for this fic. Should the author's wish for me to take this down, I will do so.

------------------------------------------------

This is _exactly_ the same contract as in another fic but I did not take it from there. I did a search on the internet and found a site where _this_ contract is available for 'public use'

-------------------------------------------

Thank you all and I hope to 'see' you all with the sequel!

Thanks for reading!

BlindedHP


End file.
